17. If You Sell Your Panties and Ball Kickings, We Can All Get Botox!

17. If You Sell Your Panties and Ball Kickings, We Can All Get Botox!

Welcome to the first episode of 2022! Let's start off by explaining the title.... basically, Lauren is newly single & she's back on her shit, therefore she's heavily considering selling those items for money (in the most non sexual way possible, of course). This all came up because we found out we had been used by a listener for their own embarrassment fetish and sexual gratification. Nice! We'll explain, just listen and crack up with us. Anyway, this week, we go through Lauren's first week back on dating apps and she tells us what's new since the last time she was on it. We also get into profile bios and get wild with a little segment we like to call "Profile Poetry." Have you ever seen a dating app bio that just made you roll your eyes? We took those and made them into poems for your enjoyment. Again, don't ask questions, just listen. We then get into a listener question about texting: is texting chemistry a thing? Should you base your outlook on how the rest of the relationship will go based on the first few weeks of texts? What are some red flags to look for when texting with a new person? We also got a guy's perspective on this, so you don't wanna miss it!

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Episoder(28)

28. I'm Not in Crisis, I'm Having a Grand Old Time

28. I'm Not in Crisis, I'm Having a Grand Old Time

We're back for 2023!! We begin this episode attempting to read a submission, but get distracted by a British guy and some life updates. Lauren tells us all about how the Brit tried to play her and how...

15 Jan 202319min

27. Catfishing the Catfish ft. Chad Huber (Part 2): The Pornstar Who Volunteers at the Orphanage

27. Catfishing the Catfish ft. Chad Huber (Part 2): The Pornstar Who Volunteers at the Orphanage

This episode is a continuation of episode 26, so if you haven't listened, go back to that first! Part 2 goes into more examples of internet scams, including medical scams (need money for medical bills...

3 Aug 202223min

26. Catfishing the Catfish ft. Chad Huber (Part 1): How’s Urhole??

26. Catfishing the Catfish ft. Chad Huber (Part 1): How’s Urhole??

You might remember Chad Huber from some previous episodes, but if this is your first time hearing him on our show, get ready!! Chad has a Tiktok account where he interacts with internet scammers, goes...

10 Jun 202224min

25. Tell Me Your F***ing Secret

25. Tell Me Your F***ing Secret

This week's episode took us on a whirlwind, and we're taking you with us! A listener wrote in and told us about a guy she dated who had a supposed "big" secret, and dragged her along on his stupid mis...

3 Mai 202230min

24. He Literally Brought Nothing but Anxiety to the Table

24. He Literally Brought Nothing but Anxiety to the Table

This episode contains what you've been waiting for: the latest and final update on No Plan Stan!! Did he show up for the date? How did their date go? Did he start immediately being fucking creepy? The...

14 Apr 202233min

23. Letting the F**kboy Flag Fly

23. Letting the F**kboy Flag Fly

It wasn't realized until editing, but this week's episode really lives up to the name of the podcast, Nevermind, He Texted Me! This week, we're updating you on No Plan Stan, a man we've affectionately...

29 Mar 202233min

22. The Reddest of the Flags

22. The Reddest of the Flags

This episode goes from 0-100 real quick in that Lauren starts talking about the Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee show on Hulu, and it turns into Britt live reacting to their sex tape. You mean there was anot...

15 Mar 202218min

21. [Don't] Leave Them on Read (Sorry, Alex Cooper!)

21. [Don't] Leave Them on Read (Sorry, Alex Cooper!)

This week we’re talking less shit about Lauren’s Hinge matches and more about you guys and your well-being by answering a couple questions from you <3 First, we get into read receipts. Should they be ...

28 Feb 202235min

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