#57 Traver Boehm - Men, Women And The Space Between: Safety, Reverence, And The Work That Actually Heals

Traver Boehm is the author of the books Today I Rise, Man Uncivilized and 28 Days In Darkness. He’s a two-time TEDx speaker, men’s coach, and the founder of the Uncivilized Men’s Movement. He’s helped men all over the world to become Uncivilized as they wake up to the power of their hearts, the brilliance of their bodies, and the wisdom of their souls so they can blaze their own path by uniquely blending both the primal and the divine within them.

Most recently, Traver completed an extraordinary 49-day dark retreat and released his latest book chronicling his first such journey, 28 Days In Darkness.

He is dedicated to doing his part to help end the suffering in men, and the suffering caused by men, by guiding them through their own journey into an actualized version of masculinity.

In this powerful conversation, Traver Boehm, founder of Man Uncivilized and author of 28 Days in Darkness, joins me to explore the crisis and rebirth of modern masculinity. We talk about shadow work, men’s mental health, trauma healing, emotional intelligence, nervous-system regulation, and the midlife search for purpose.

Traver shares what he learned from spending 49 days in total darkness—and why the greatest challenge a man can face isn’t an Ironman race or a business empire, but the courage to meet himself. Together, we unpack the confusion between men and women in the post-MeToo era, the cost of numbing through achievement, and how reconnecting to feeling, presence, and authenticity brings life back into full color.

If you’ve ever wondered why success feels empty, why relationships feel like war zones, or why modern men feel lost, this episode is your invitation to return home to yourself.

Chapters:
00:00 The State of Masculinity and Femininity
07:07 The Impact of COVID and Social Movements
13:03 Navigating Relationships in a Changing World
18:51 Understanding Male Desire and Safety
24:33 The Role of Men in Modern Society
29:48 Lessons on Safety and Vulnerability
32:38 Understanding Sexual Needs and Desires
37:03 The Impact of Masculinity on Relationships
41:15 The Call to Action for Men
46:35 The Importance of Being Known
53:06 Facing Fear and Embracing Darkness
56:59 Reliving Trauma: The Somatic Experience
58:09 The Dark Retreat: Confronting Inner Demons
01:02:50 The Power of Darkness: Insights and Resilience
01:08:20 The Journey Within: Discovering the Soul
01:14:00 The Illusion of Significance: Embracing Insignificance
01:18:13 Man Uncivilized: Building Community and Connection

Guest Resources:
https://www.manuncivilized.com/press
Instagram - traverboehm
Youtube - @TraverBoehm
The UNcivilized Podcast - https://www.manuncivilized.com/blog/

Find me on YouTube @abbyhavermann

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