Ask Uncut - The Challenges of Long Distance Relationships

Hey lifers,

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. This episode was recorded a week in advance as Britt is visiting Ben in Romania. Britt opens up about some of the challenges of long distance and what she’s really struggling with at the moment.

Britt has also called one of our listeners a loser. We deeply apologise YourGirlSidney

Do you think it’s okay to be in a relationship if you know that the person isn’t ‘the one’ (or end game) for you? How long is it okay to be ‘working’ this out? Does it depend on the age of the people in the relationship?

Vibes for the week:

Britt: Your Girl Sidney

Keeshia: Medusa Wispy Light Human Hair Fringe - Air Bangs- Clip In

Laura App Eat Club

Then we get into your questions!

HE WON’T GO DOWN ON ME & DOESN’T MAKE AN EFFORT TO PLEASURE ME
I'm 21 and my male partner is 23. We have been together for 3 years. Since we have been together he has only gone down on me maybe 3 times in total for about 20 seconds. I have brought this up with him and asked why he doesn't do it and he replies with "I don't like it sorry" which is totally fine but when we do have sex I never get anything out of it as he never really tries to pleasure me. We have tried sex toys but I think he gets awkward about it and then it never happens again. I talk to my friends about it but all they say is tell me that my relationship is not right and tell me about how good they have it. Sometimes I wonder what I am missing out on. Every other part of our relationship is amazing because he is an amazing human who I love so much. Am I missing out ? And if so what the hell do I do?

HE LIED ABOUT HAVING AN STI
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 7-8months. He asked me to help him with a work medical claim, he sent over a pack of documents for me to read to help him write a letter. Reading the documents it said he had herpes. When we first started dating I made sure we both had sexual health checks - he was pushing to have sex without a condom, something I’ve never done and didn’t feel comfortable doing without the STI checks prior. The tests came back with no issues flagged so we started having unprotected sex. 7 months later I read this document - he said initially that “he forgot,” then ended up telling me he lied to me because he thought I would break up with him if I knew. Additional context: his previous girlfriend gave him herpes and also didn’t tell him until 2 months into dating. I don’t know what to do - I thought this guy was my penguin, help!

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS WITH A COLLEAGUE
Should I enter a short term friends with benefits situation with a colleague that’s leaving at the end of the year even though I’m inexperienced and not sure how I’ll emotionally handle it? I think it could be a great idea for my overall satisfaction and self confidence, but I don't want to get rejected, or catch feelings and then get really sad when I’m rejected and/or he moves away. Is it worth the risk for good sex?

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