Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)

Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.


In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:

  • What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake Dom
  • Why “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misused
  • How fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating apps
  • Manipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flags
  • Patience as the most attractive and essential Dom skill
  • Why dominance is about giving and not controlling
  • Why dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chains
  • Eating pussy before, during, and after penetration
  • Anxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failure
  • Strap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetration
  • Asking better questions about pleasure and satisfaction
  • The brain as the biggest sex organ
  • Post-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more of
  • Advocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamics
  • Beginner Dom mistakes to avoid
  • Why Doms should experience submission or bottoming
  • Performative dominance vs authentic presence


Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈

Episoder(102)

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sex educator and Beyond the Beez founder Elizabeth Ashford for a deeply practical, funny, and no-BS conversation about talkin...

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with musician and content creator Emi Larraud for a raw, funny, and deeply honest conversation about vulnerability, masculinity, oversharing on the i...

1 Jan 56min

How Erotic Hypnosis Can Transform Your Sex Life (ft. Kate Shelor)

How Erotic Hypnosis Can Transform Your Sex Life (ft. Kate Shelor)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist and intimacy coach Kate Shelor for an in-depth conversation about erotic hypnosis, the subconscious mind, and how our thoughts, b...

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with tantric practitioner, pleasure educator, and soon-to-be author Davia Frost for a deep conversation about decentering penetration and expanding w...

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