Easy Prey6 Okt 2021

Gaslighting with Dr. Deborah Vinall

The term "gaslighting" is becoming more commonly used as people come to understand the psychological impact. It is important to identify the techniques used by someone to maintain an unhealthy relationship so you can avoid it or change it.

Today's guest is Dr. Deborah Vinall. Dr. Vinall is not only a licensed marriage and family therapist, but also a doctor of psychology. She is a certified trauma therapist that uses EMDR and brain spotting. Dr. Vinall is the author of Gaslighting: A Step by Step Recovery Guide to Heal From Emotional Abuse and Building Healthy Relationships.

Show Notes:

[1:18] - Dr. Vinall explains why she wrote her recent book as gaslighting is something a lot of people experience but don't understand.
[2:42] - What is gaslighting? Dr. Vinall gives an example.
[3:18] - Gaslighting can happen anywhere and with anyone.
[4:06] - There are different types of gaslighting that range from fully calculated to more defensive in nature.
[5:01] - Many people exhibit gaslighting at some point in their lives, but patterns are when things get problematic.
[6:19] - Insecurity is one reason many people tend to gaslight.
[7:29] - What are some signs for pattern gaslighters?
[8:22] - Pattern gaslighters are often very charming in public but are much different behind closed doors.
[10:00] - What is "normal" and what is problematic? Look inside and see how you feel around this person.
[11:03] - Dr. Vinall gives tips on how to manage situations where it is a co-worker that you can't make a break from.
[12:53] - When confronted, pattern gaslighters may dismiss accusations or could "fly off the handle."
[13:49] - In relationships, gaslighters tend to move very fast.
[15:22] - In cases where relationships are deeply connected, Dr. Vinall suggests reaching out to a lawyer. She also discusses the impact of violence escalation.
[18:02] - There is a distinction between occasional gaslighting and chronic pathological gaslighting.
[19:39] - Try some different strategies in the workplace and think of an exit plan in case a change is needed.
[21:12] - Journaling is an excellent tool to help you release and sort through your thoughts and can also be used later to confirm to yourself that you are not crazy.
[22:58] - A red flag of gaslighting is someone trying to pull you away from your support system and external relationships.
[24:11] - It's important to grieve the loss of a relationship and all the things that go with it.
[25:26] - Notice your self-talk. You can start internalizing the negative talk that you hear from someone who gaslights you.
[27:19] - Being a gaslighter may be difficult to overcome as there's something deeper going on and you must want to heal.
[28:07] - Take your time in a relationship and listen to your intuition.
[29:49] - Figuring out your boundaries for those in your life who you don't want to cut out.

Thanks for joining us on Easy Prey. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review.

Links and Resources:

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(342)

Hidden Phone Tracking

Your phone gives off a surprising amount of information just by being connected to a cellular network. Things like your location, who you communicate with, and your daily patterns can all become part ...

23 Sep 45min

Ransomware Evolution

Ransomware has changed dramatically over the years. What started as criminals locking up individual computers and demanding relatively small payments has grown into a much larger operation involving s...

16 Sep 40min

The Counterfeit Economy

A counterfeit handbag may leave someone disappointed. A counterfeit medication, airbag, or child's car seat can do far more damage. Fake products now reach into nearly every part of daily life, and ma...

9 Sep 43min

The Internet is Playing You

A convincing lie no longer needs to look suspicious. It can appear in a familiar social media feed, come from someone who seems real, or arrive as a video that looks almost impossible to fake. By the ...

2 Sep 44min

The Psychology of Yes

It is easy to say you would never fall for a scam when you are looking at the situation from the outside. In the moment, though, things can feel much less obvious. A request may sound reasonable, the ...

26 Aug 49min

Drink Spiking

A drink can be out of your sight for only a moment, but that may be all it takes for someone to tamper with it. Spiking can happen in bars, restaurants, festivals, and even among people who already kn...

19 Aug 35min

Love, Lies and Locked Up

What sounds like the plot of a crime thriller was Sharon Armstrong's real life. An online romance drew her into an elaborate web of lies involving overseas contracts, invented emergencies, and several...

12 Aug 52min

The Recruitment Trap

Everybody is searching for ways to increase income. Unfortunately, MLMs often look like an easy way to start a business without taking on the cost of a traditional company. The pitch sounds simple. Bu...

5 Aug 51min