why everyone is hot and no one is happy: the men women want (part 1)

why everyone is hot and no one is happy: the men women want (part 1)

Modern dating is currently stuck in a strange paralysis. Everyone looks better than ever, but actual desire is missing. Men are told to become sculpted superheroes to win affection. Women are told they should want them. Almost no one is satisfied with the result. This is part one of an investigation into why.


In this episode, we bypass the gym-optimized fantasy to look at the figures that actually haunt the female imagination. We examine the Wounded Romantic and the Beautiful Monster. We also uncover the "missing third" option that rarely gets airtime.


We track the Gothic lineage of the female gaze to answer an uncomfortable question. Why do we feel so pulled toward men who feel dangerous and damaged? Why does safety often feel boring while the wound feels like chemistry? It's time to understand where our fantasies actually come from. The sanitized stories we’re fed about attraction no longer match our lived experience.


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Episoder(351)

What Do We Do With a Broken Spiritual Inheritance?

What Do We Do With a Broken Spiritual Inheritance?

A lot of us are walking around with religious trauma and a God-shaped hole.I was raised inside a version of Christianity, and I know what it can leave in the body. Shame, fear, sexual repression, homo...

21 Jul 0s

UFOs, AI, and the Religion of the Unconscious (Live at Contact in the Desert 2026)

UFOs, AI, and the Religion of the Unconscious (Live at Contact in the Desert 2026)

This year, I had the chance to attend Contact in the Desert, which is a conference devoted to UFOs, psi phenomena, consciousness, and anomalous experience. While I was there, I joined a live podcast ...

14 Jul 1h 11min

Mary Magdalene and the End of Spiritual Childhood

Mary Magdalene and the End of Spiritual Childhood

This week, I was doing an I Ching reading, and one line stood out to me: “To find what you seek, leave the child and follow the adult.” This episode was inspired by that line. I use it to think throug...

7 Jul 51min

The Occult Teacher We Need Right Now: Dion Fortune, Psychic Hygiene, and the Magick of the Mind

The Occult Teacher We Need Right Now: Dion Fortune, Psychic Hygiene, and the Magick of the Mind

Dion Fortune was one of the great occult teachers of the twentieth century, and one of my personal favorites.In this episode, I’m joined by Ike Baker for a conversation about Fortune and her legacy. W...

29 Jun 1h 36min

The Skill AI Can Never Replace (And Why I’m Teaching Tarot)

The Skill AI Can Never Replace (And Why I’m Teaching Tarot)

This episode is the opening lesson from my new Patreon series, House of Cards.House of Cards is an ongoing study of the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot through depth psychology, mythology, symbolism, dreams, ...

25 Jun 31min

The Arrogance of Too Much Empathy

The Arrogance of Too Much Empathy

This might be the most personally confronting episode I’ve recorded in a long time.A few days ago, I had to send a text message I had been absolutely dreading. I spent days worrying about how this per...

23 Jun 1h 5min

Gay Men Have Always Loved a “Difficult” Woman

Gay Men Have Always Loved a “Difficult” Woman

For much of my life, many of my closest friendships have been with gay men.Not because they were fun little accessories or stereotypical sidekicks, either. We didn’t even always have that much in comm...

16 Jun 50min

The Female Shadow

The Female Shadow

Female cruelty often works insidiously enough to make the person on the receiving end of it gaslight the hell out of themselves. The punishment that’s served up tends to arrive socially or emotionally...

9 Jun 1h 12min

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