The Long Middle - Part 2 - The Costume - Why We Hide Behind Professional Roles

Office Hours with Patrick

Stuck on your website, portfolio, pricing, marketing, or business strategy?

Office Hours is a one-on-one, 60-ish minute conversation to help you work through whatever you’re trying to figure out. No agenda. No curriculum. No pitch. Just honest feedback, thoughtful questions, and a fresh perspective.

Learn more or book your session:

https://theterriblecreative.com/office-hours

Why do photographers wear so much black? Why do we feel confident on stage but panic at networking events? And why is it so hard to find real community in the creative industry?

In Part 2 of "The Long Middle" series, Patrick explores the costumes we wear—not just the black clothes and gear, but the professional roles and personas that keep us safe and isolated at the same time.

From 17th-century Japanese Kabuki theater to APA mixers in San Diego, this episode examines why we choose invisibility, what happens when we need established roles to feel legitimate, and the five-second decision that keeps us from connection.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• The Kurogo: Japanese stagehands who dress in black to become "invisible" on stage
• Why confidence comes from established roles (the stage, the call sheet, the contract)
• A painful story about leaving a networking event after two minutes
• How neurodivergence affects ambiguous social spaces
• Why fifteen years of mastery on set doesn't translate to confidence at a mixer
• The difference between avatars (who have followers) and humans (who have friends)
• What happens when you choose the beach over the risk

THE CHALLENGE: The next time someone asks "How's it going?"—tell them one true thing. Not "busy." Not "crushing it." One honest thing. Drop the shield for ten seconds.

LINKS:

Website: terriblephotographer.com

The Newsletter: Sign up for Pub Notes – Musings, updates, and things I probably shouldn't say in public.
terriblephotographer.com/newsletter

Support the Show: Help keep the lights on
terriblephotographer.com/support

Email Patrick: patrick@terriblephotographer.com
Questions, hate mail, and existential spirals are all welcome.

CREDITS:

Music licensed through Epidemic Sound and Blue Dot Sessions.

Episode Artwork Photo by @erwimadethis

Written and Produced by Patrick Fore

NEXT WEEK: Part 3 – "The Enemy"
If the Costume hides us, Envy divides us. We're talking about scarcity mindset, comparison, and why we see our peers as threats instead of allies.