Why Putting Yourself Last Is Wrecking You

Why Putting Yourself Last Is Wrecking You

This episode is for the muthafcka who carries everything, says yes out of reflex, and calls it being "good".

We’re talking about the martyr complex, not as a personality trait, but as a nervous system habit that got wired through relief, compliance, and survival. When you repeatedly put yourself last, and nothing blows up, your body learns a dangerous lesson.
Self-abandonment equals safety.

I break down the neuroscience of how this pattern forms, why insight doesn’t stop it, and how affirmations actually work when the issue lives in the nervous system, not your mindset. These aren’t pretty, inspirational affirmations. They’re interruptions designed to create new pathways and teach your body that you can choose yourself and survive.

If you’re exhausted, resentful, tense, and tired of lighting yourself on fire for everyone else, this episode will land hard and make sense in your body.

This is not about becoming selfish.
It’s about stopping a habit that’s costing you your health.

Episoder(57)

Let That Shit Go: A Guided Meditation for the Complaint Loop

Let That Shit Go: A Guided Meditation for the Complaint Loop

You've named the loop. You've moved it out of your body. Now we settle.This episode is a fully guided meditation for the complaint you've been carrying. Not the story around it. The actual sensation o...

23 Mar 14min

Get Your Weird Little Body Out of the Complaint Loop

Get Your Weird Little Body Out of the Complaint Loop

Thinking about your problems harder has never once solved them. And yet here we are, replaying the same story, to the same people, getting the same results, wondering why nothing changes.Complaining i...

23 Mar 14min

Complaining vs. Venting: Why Your Brain Is Stuck in a Bitch Loop

Complaining vs. Venting: Why Your Brain Is Stuck in a Bitch Loop

You're not just bitching for no reason. Your brain is literally wired for it. In this episode, we get into the neuroscience of why complaining keeps you stuck, how it hijacks your nervous system, and ...

23 Mar 13min

Emergency Reset: A Guided Practice to Move From Red to Green

Emergency Reset: A Guided Practice to Move From Red to Green

Emergency Reset: When Your Nervous System Is in Red LightYour nervous system will move between red, yellow, and green throughout the day. That’s normal.The skill is learning how to guide your body bac...

16 Mar 10min

Moving Your Nervous System From Red → Yellow → Green

Moving Your Nervous System From Red → Yellow → Green

The Traffic Light Method: Moving Your Nervous System From Red to GreenIn the last episode, we talked about the Traffic Light Method and the rule that changed how I make decisions:No big decisions in a...

16 Mar 15min

The Rule That Has Saved Me From Ruining My Own Life

The Rule That Has Saved Me From Ruining My Own Life

The Traffic Light Rule That Will Save You From Ruining Your LifeHave you ever been completely convinced you needed to quit your job, end a relationship, send the text, or make a huge life decision… an...

16 Mar 12min

The Podcast Is Changing (Plus a Story About Me Crying in My Car)

The Podcast Is Changing (Plus a Story About Me Crying in My Car)

Episode 51 feels like a good moment to shake things up a little.In this episode, I tell the story of how I went from feeling amazing after teaching a yoga class… to sitting in my car crying and decidi...

16 Mar 8min

The Nervous System Cost of Being the Strong One

The Nervous System Cost of Being the Strong One

If you’ve always been the one who holds it together, handles it, fixes it, and rarely asks for help, this episode is for you.We’re breaking down the neuroscience behind overfunctioning and chronic emo...

2 Mar 26min

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