Elizabeth Day on Perfectionism, Positive Affirmations & Rebuilding Home After Loss

Author and podcaster Elizabeth Day spent years chasing a vision of the ‘perfect’ home life, only to discover that reality can look very different.

She grew up in the Northern Irish countryside, in a home that was physically safe but shadowed by unrest in the wider community. Childhood fears of monsters under the bed were replaced by the reality of masked terrorists, which has made the concept of home as a place of safety so central to her life today.

In the high-pressure early years of her journalism career at The Evening Standard, Elizabeth sought to create peaceful, restorative spaces – first in her own apartments, and later in the relationships she invested in.

Her path has also been marked by profound challenges: the unexpected breakdown of her first marriage and a 12-year fertility journey that ultimately ended in disappointment. As a high achiever with a clear picture of her life goals, learning to navigate what she describes as “failure” has been far from straightforward.

She describes her life in more recent years as “a dismantling of that and a recovery of who I was at four.”

Her current home and her loving marriage to Justin are built upon the lessons she learned from these experiences. Elizabeth describes finding her home as a moment of fate, as if the universe delivered exactly what she needed.

This episode looks at how perfectionism can take us away from ourselves, and how love and self-compassion can help us feel at home again.

The episode was recorded in Elizabeth’s house in South London.

A full house tour is available to our Patreon community.

Patreon: http://patreon.com/HomingWithMatt

Elizabeth’s new novel, One of Us, is published by 4th Estate and available to purchase in hardback here. You can also preorder a copy of the paperback out (21 May) here.

To hear more from us:

YouTube: Subscribe to our channel, Homing with Matt, to watch the video version

Instagram: @homingwithmatt

TikTok: @homing.with.matt

Contact: Email us at hello@mattgibberd.com

Matt Gibberd’s book, A Modern Way to Live, is available here: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/320176/a-modern-way-to-live-by-gibberd-matt/9780241480496

Music by @simeonwalkermusic

Identity & design by @lena.winkler.creative.office

Produced by @podshoponline

The full visualised studio tour is available to our Patreon community.

Patreon: http://patreon.com/HomingWithMatt

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(99)

Will Fisher: The Boy Who Dreamed of Country Houses

Antiques dealer Will Fisher was obsessed with English country houses from age seven – a fascination that sparked a lifelong pursuit of beauty.Will grew up in southeast London, the son of two working-c...

15 Okt 1h 16min

Why Home Lives in the Imagination | with Turkish Novelist Elif Shafak

For Turkish-British novelist Elif Shafak, home isn't a physical place; it lives in the stories we tell.Elif is an award-winning novelist, celebrated for writing about the lives of people on the margin...

8 Okt 54min

Dan Martensen: The Fashion Photographer Who Learned to Fit In

Dan Martensen is a portrait and fashion photographer whose work appears in Vogue, i-D and WSJ Magazine. He’s also the founder of It’s Bagels, bringing the New York-style bagel he grew up with to Londo...

1 Okt 1h 16min

Why Creativity Is a Human Need | With Amie McNee

Writer and creative coach Amie McNee believes that creativity isn’t a luxury; it’s a fundamental human need, and one that many of us are suppressing.Amie has a wonderfully broad definition of creativi...

24 Sep 1h

Rose Wylie: Nonconformity, Ageing & the Beauty of an Unruly Home

At 91, Rose Wylie has one of the most remarkable stories in contemporary British art. She stopped painting in order to raise her three children and returned to it in middle age, finding widespread rec...

17 Sep 1h 14min

Is Your Home Keeping You Awake? Professor Russell Foster Rethinks the Rules of Sleep

We spend around a third of our lives asleep, yet for so many of us, getting a good night’s sleep can feel like a real struggle. Could our homes hold some of the answers to sleeping better?In this conv...

10 Sep 58min

Charlene Prempeh: Why More Space Isn’t the Key to a Happier Home

Matt Gibberd visits writer and creative consultant Charlene Prempeh at her home in North London. Charlene is the founder of A Vibe Called Tech, a creative studio that champions Black culture. She’s a ...

3 Sep 1h 25min

Lemn Sissay: What Happens When Home Rejects You?

Lemn Sissay is a poet, playwright and broadcaster. Few people have thought more deeply about the meaning of home than Lemn. As a baby, Lemn was separated from his Ethiopian mother and placed into fost...

20 Aug 48min