#109 The 4 Levels Of Behavior Change

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In this powerful mindset session, Brad and Kaylene introduce the Four Levels of Behavior Change — a framework that transformed how they approached everything from yelling in their relationship to media addiction. The four levels are: unaware, aware with no control, aware with control, and non-issue. Understanding where you are on this ladder helps you see that you're making progress even when it doesn't feel like it.

The hardest part of this journey is level two, where you watch yourself do the thing you know you shouldn't be doing but feel powerless to stop. But here's the truth: it's not that you don't have control — it's that you're unaware of where to exert that control. As you move into level three, you start catching yourself earlier and earlier on the path toward the negative behavior until eventually you can stop before you even start.

The ultimate goal is level four: non-issue. This is where the behavior no longer has any pull on you. Brad and Kaylene share that it took about 90-110 days of focused effort to reach this point with their biggest habits. That means by the end of the year, you could eliminate one major negative behavior from your life entirely. You don't have to fight your bad habits forever — you just need to fight them long enough until they become a non-issue.

💡 What You'll Learn

• The four levels of behavior change and what each one looks like
• Why level two feels the worst even though it's actually progress
• How to move from level two to level three by taking note of what goes wrong
• The river analogy: why there's a current pulling you toward old habits
• Why the effort required decreases over time as you build new habits
• How long it typically takes to make a behavior a complete non-issue
• Why you need to get extremely specific about the behavior you want to change
• How to use this framework for addictions, relationship patterns, and lifestyle habits

🧠 Key Takeaway

You won't have to fight your bad habits forever. With focused effort for 90-110 days, any negative behavior can become a complete non-issue — no urge, no pull, no struggle. You're not broken. You're just ascending through the levels.

🔗 Next Steps

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CHAPTERS:

00:00 Introduction and Welcome 01:17 Today's Topic: Four Levels of Behavior Change 07:09 Level 1: Unawareness 08:40 Level 2: Awareness Without Control 11:47 Level 3: Awareness With Control 27:01 Understanding the Feeling of No Control 27:20 The Habit Changing Timeline 27:38 The Effort Curve in Behavior Change 28:08 Reaching the Final Level: Behavior as a Non-Issue 29:18 Personal Journeys and Examples 32:26 The Importance of Specificity in Behavior Change 34:56 Making a Commitment to Change 38:29 Defining and Tackling Specific Behaviors 42:02 Community Sharing and Support 51:24 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Topics Covered: PTSD recovery • behavior change • breaking bad habits • addiction recovery • awareness framework • habit change • sobriety • relationship patterns • yelling • media addiction • self-control • mindset for change • recovery rehearsal • habit momentum • 90-day challenge • lifestyle change • negative behaviors • personal growth