The Family Ledger: What You're Holding Onto & What You Need to Release

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I didn't get affection as a kid, so I'm going to make sure my kids get it" and then noticed you overwhelm them just a tad? Or maybe, "My parents never helped me, so I'm going to do for mine what I didn't get", but then your spouse gets your leftovers? That's the family ledger at work, an invisible accounting system tracking what you got, what you didn't get, and what you think you're owed. In this episode, Christa unpacks how this ledger from your family of origin often has so much to do with marriages right now (in the Contextual Family Systems Therapy frame), and how to finally put it down and build something new. Learn about the "revolving slate" (over-giving what you didn't get), destructive entitlement (withholding because you're "owed"), and the path to building merit instead of collecting debts. Practical homework prompts are included to help you and your spouse break free from ledger-keeping and choose love and light over scorekeeping. Watch on YouTube here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(600)

How The Odyssey Maps the Journey of Your Own Growth

Many Enneagram teachers have used the Odyssey as a way to talk through the nine types, since there are nine temptations, nine believable reasons to never make it home. Yet each island of trials offers...

22 Jul 0s

When Sex Feels Like One More Thing to Do

Here Christa turns to a different weight so many couples carry: what happens when the body is simply depleted, exhausted, touched-out, and running on empty, and sex stops feeling like connection and s...

22 Jul 0s

The Art of (Married) Seduction w/Dr. Anna Elton, PhD

Seduction inside a long marriage sounds like a contradiction, and Dr. Anna Elton is here to tell us it is anything but. In this rich conversation, Christa welcomes Dr. Elton to unpack her framework fo...

20 Jul 40min

Beloved and Imperfect: Meredith Hite Estevez, Loving One Another As Works of God's Art

As a special invitation in the middle of our summer exploring desire and intimacy in marriage, Christa pauses to learn from and to share an experience with a soulful friend, welcoming Meredith Hite E...

17 Jul 44min

Play as a Path Back to Desire: How Fun Reignites Your Sexual Intimacy

Today, Christa reveals the surprising other half of the connection coin when it comes to sexual intimacy: desire does not only need safety, it needs aliveness. Christa names the play deficit that cree...

15 Jul 0s

Seen, Known, and Wanted: The Three Keys to Real Sexual Intimacy

Why do so many couples feel stuck in the bedroom even after decades of marriage? Christa goes straight at the real reason in this episode, the armor we put on to avoid being truly seen. Being physical...

13 Jul 0s

Afterglow: The 48 Hours That Change Your Marriage

We tend to think of physical intimacy as a moment, here and then gone. But the research reveals it is actually a window, a lingering afterglow that lasts up to forty-eight hours, and what happens insi...

8 Jul 0s

Initiation: Who Reaches, Who Pulls Back, and Why

Almost every couple navigates it, and almost nobody talks about it openly: the vulnerable dance of initiation. Who reaches for whom, who tends to pull back, and the quiet hurt that builds around it ov...

6 Jul 0s