191: Why You Keep Falling For Their Potential Instead Of Who They Are

Ever caught yourself saying "when it's good, it's so good"? In this first episode of the 4-part Hard Truth Series, Sabrina breaks down why you keep falling in love with who someone could be instead of who they actually are — and why potential is just a placeholder for the grief you're avoiding. She dives into the neuroscience of the "prospective brain," the impact bias that keeps you chasing a fantasy, and the 13-year longitudinal study that explains why you lower your standards for the wrong people but can't appreciate the ones who actually show up. Sabrina gets vulnerable about her own patternsand gives you the exact reframe to stop confusing anxiety with connection. Plus, this week's tool: the Potential vs. Reality Audit, a two-column exercise to see whether you're in a relationship or a fantasy. If you've ever wondered why the available person feels boring or why you keep choosing people who need to become someone else for it to work, this one's for you. If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step HERE! If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! Get Ad free HERE!Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! ============================= Chapters 00:00 Hard Truth Series Part 1 01:50 Gratitude & Setting Boundaries 04:59 What "I See Potential" Really Means 08:00 The Pattern Is the Real Them 11:08 Real Potential vs Fantasy Potential 15:54 Neuroscience of Dating a Fantasy 20:36 3 Questions Keeping You Stuck 25:51 Are You a Partner or a Fixer 28:21 What If They Change For Someone Else 33:47 Tool: Potential vs Reality Audit Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(229)

228: You're Not Healing. You're Just Consuming Content…

Why does healing feel so hard, and why doesn't "regulating your nervous system" fix it? Nervous system expert Masha Kay returns to break down what the internet gets wrong about nervous system regulati...

2 Okt 59min

227: How To Actually Handle A Breakup…

How do you get over a breakup without making it mean something is wrong with you? In the final episode of the Things To Do and Not To Do series, Sabrina breaks down what to do and what not to do durin...

25 Sep 30min

226: Do's And Don'ts For Dating And Relationships

The dos and don'ts of dating and relationships, from the first date to years in. Sabrina covers what to do and not do before, during, and after a first date: stop the endless texting, set boundaries a...

18 Sep 41min

225: Am I Too Late To Find Love? With Tamsen Fadal

This one is about feeling behind. The belief that you missed your window, that everyone else got the memo, that whatever you want is off the table now because of your age. We are answering the questio...

11 Sep 52min

224: Stop Asking Everyone But Yourself

You already know the answer. You just keep asking everyone but yourself: him, your friends, your therapist, a stranger with a podcast, anyone who will confirm what you already feel. Sabrina gets into ...

8 Sep 39min

223: Things To Do And Not Do When Single

How do you actually get okay being alone? In part one of a three part series, Sabrina answers your questions about being single: how to stop wanting a relationship so badly, how to grieve a breakup or...

4 Sep 37min

222: How Do You Actually Choose Yourself?

What does loving yourself actually look like when it isn't bubble baths, face masks, or affirmations you don't believe? Sabrina breaks down the real difference between self-love and self-esteem, what ...

28 Aug 38min

221: Can You Get Them To Change?

Discernment in dating is not about spotting every red flag, it's about not creating green ones that were never there. Sabrina opens with the story of the emotionally unavailable man she spent years ma...

21 Aug 32min