102: The Female Ambition Penalty with Stefanie O'Connell

102: The Female Ambition Penalty with Stefanie O'Connell

For years, women have been told that success comes down to confidence: negotiate your salary, advocate for yourself, and lean in. But what happens when women follow that advice—and still face backlash?

In this episode, Amanda sits down with writer and researcher Stefanie O’Connell to unpack the research behind what she calls the “ambition penalty.”

We discuss:

  • Why women negotiate salaries just as often as men—but are more likely to face backlash for it
  • How cultural expectations about gender shape workplace outcomes
  • The difference between personal failure and structural barriers
  • How the “lean in” narrative oversimplifies the challenges women face
  • The gap between the girl-power messaging many millennials grew up with and their current reality
  • How motherhood and midlife can intensify these structural pressures
  • Why understanding the data can help women stop blaming themselves

You can follow Stefanie on Instagram @stefanieoconnell. Find more of her work on Substack at https://tooambitious.substack.com/. You can also pre-order her book "The Ambition Penalty" on her website here: https://tooambitious.com/book/.

If you’d like to support the show one of the best things you can do is leave us a review and share the pod! THANK YOU!

We have some incredible BONUS episodes on our SUBSTACK! nuanceneeded.substack.com

To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 42 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area.

Want to join the conversation? You can email us podcast@therapyforwomencenter.com. We’d love to hear what you think!

Episoder(110)

109: The Truth About Emotions & How to Feel Better

109: The Truth About Emotions & How to Feel Better

What if everything you learned about emotions is actually wrong?In conversation, we deep dive all about emotions: The 1960s research that convinced everyone facial expressions are universal, and the m...

28 Apr 57min

108: Why You Feel So Empty (And What's Actually Missing) with Jennifer Wallace

108: Why You Feel So Empty (And What's Actually Missing) with Jennifer Wallace

Why can you have friends, a career, a family, and a full calendar and still feel like something fundamental is missing. Journalist Jennifer Wallace calls that something by its name: you don't feel lik...

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107: The Legacy of Trauma (JFK Jr. & Carolyn Bessett)

107: The Legacy of Trauma (JFK Jr. & Carolyn Bessett)

Everyone calls it the Kennedy curse. Sam calls it something else: a family system doing exactly what it was designed to do.If you watched Love Story and walked away thinking it was a tragic romance, t...

14 Apr 57min

106: Punching Pillows Doesn't Work & The Myth of Catharsis

106: Punching Pillows Doesn't Work & The Myth of Catharsis

What if the most popular anger advice on the internet — punch a pillow, go to a rage room, scream it out — is actually making you angrier?In conversation, we tackle:* The bizarre 1960s therapist who c...

7 Apr 43min

105: Depression, Anxiety, and the Myth of the Chemical Imbalance

105: Depression, Anxiety, and the Myth of the Chemical Imbalance

What if the entire “chemical imbalance” story about depression was oversimplified… and it’s actually keeping you stuck?In conversation, we tackle: The 2022 study that “debunked” serotonin—and why ever...

31 Mar 46min

104: Taylor Frankie Paul & The Cost of Reality TV

104: Taylor Frankie Paul & The Cost of Reality TV

Is this reality tv... or are we watching real people's lives unravel in front of us.In conversation, we tackle:  The storyline that somehow includes assault charges, a leaked body cam video, AND a Bac...

24 Mar 1h 10min

103: What's REALLY going on with Men's Mental Health with Dr. Audra Horney

103: What's REALLY going on with Men's Mental Health with Dr. Audra Horney

In this episode, Sam sits down with psychologist Dr. Audra Horney to talk about what therapists — and the internet — are getting wrong about men right now.In conversation, we tackle: The uncomfortable...

17 Mar 1h 13min

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