Your Husband Is Lying. Your Nervous System Knows It.

Your Husband Is Lying. Your Nervous System Knows It.

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com


Three listener questions. All of them about what betrayal actually does to a

person. Not just to the marriage. To the voice inside that kept saying

something is wrong.


A woman who spent years convincing herself she was the problem just found out

her husband has a gambling addiction and has been lying to her for years. Carl

and Laura break down the difference between intuition and anxiety, why

gaslighting trains you to distrust the nudge, and the three-step process for

rebuilding self-trust. Carl also delivers something every husband in recovery

needs to hear: full disclosure does not just help your wife. It restores her

confidence in herself.


A woman two years into dating a man she loves has discovered multiple lies

about his past. He is honest when confronted. Never before. Carl and Laura

explain why being honest when caught is not the same as being honest, and why

the question is never about his past. It is about his integrity under low

pressure. Because marriage does not reduce pressure. It multiplies it.


A woman three years past her husband's infidelity is still together, has done

the work, and still feels emotionally abandoned. Carl distinguishes remorse

from repair. One says I am sorry. The other says I can stay present in your

pain. Most men only know how to do one.


This episode will challenge anyone who believes that stopping the behavior

is the same thing as doing the work.


Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/

Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Episoder(109)

The marriage questions people are afraid to ask out loud

The marriage questions people are afraid to ask out loud

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comSince Lights On started, we've been asked a lot of questions. Some out loud. Some in private messages. Some in the middle of a conversation ...

17 Aug 56min

How to actually change the climate of your home

How to actually change the climate of your home

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comThe Summer Shots series continues, and this week's shot is the simplest and hardest one yet. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura ge...

10 Aug 39min

How to encourage your spouse in a way they actually feel

How to encourage your spouse in a way they actually feel

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comLast week Carl and Laura kicked off the Summer Shots series with the challenge to cut criticism for a full week. This week, they build on it...

3 Aug 32min

Why criticism is quietly killing your marriage (and what to try instead)

Why criticism is quietly killing your marriage (and what to try instead)

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comMost people have never been taught how to apologize. And the ones who have often learned to do it in a way that quietly protects themselves ...

27 Jul 48min

The alarm clock every marriage eventually hears

The alarm clock every marriage eventually hears

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comMost marriages don't fall apart in a single moment. They quietly erode under the weight of what nobody's willing to say out loud. In this ep...

20 Jul 48min

How to come back to each other after years of drift

How to come back to each other after years of drift

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comLast week Carl and Laura opened up the biggest question in marriage recovery: how do you stop being lonely in your marriage? This week, they...

13 Jul 44min

How to stop being lonely in your marriage

How to stop being lonely in your marriage

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comYou can be married and still lonely. In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura get honest about one of the most under-talked-about realit...

6 Jul 54min

What Your Anger is Actually Trying to Tell You

What Your Anger is Actually Trying to Tell You

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.comA listener wrote in with a question almost every betrayed spouse eventually wrestles with: I have every right to be angry, but I can feel it...

29 Jun 54min

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