Paring Down: Realistic minimalism, decluttering, & intentional living24 Mar

135: When People Feel Judged by Your Decluttered Life

Have you ever felt like decluttering makes other people in your life defensive? Like you're judging them–even though you're not? In this episode, I’m talking about the relationship tension that can come up when we choose to live with less stuff. I break down why people might feel judged: Natural comparison Identity tied to possessions Cognitive dissonance Psychological reactance The spotlight effect And what I personally do to keep things positive: Keep it personal (“this works for me”) Avoid “should” language Stay curious about others Don’t give unsolicited advice Never gossip I hope this episode helps you better understand where other people's defensiveness might come from (and your own!), and how to navigate lifestyle differences without straining relationships or compromising your own values to keep the peace. PARING DOWN (SHANNON LEYKO): Website: ⁠⁠⁠www.shannonleyko.com⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@shannonleyko⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@shannon_leyko⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Youtube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@shannonleyko⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/shannonleyko.paringdown⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Weekly Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The L.E.S.S. Express⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Substack: ⁠⁠Blog & Additional Support (free trial!)⁠⁠ PARING DOWN RESOURCES: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free Decluttering Checklist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free 20 Decluttering Roadblocks (with specific advice for each)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠10 Life-Changing Decluttering Hacks (free)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Treasures of the Heart: A 7-Day Bible Study on Breaking Free from Material Attachments (free)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free 15 Clutter-Free Gift Ideas⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free Gift Request Email Template⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free Know Your Why Worksheet ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Complete Guide to Decluttering Kid Stuff⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ SPONSORS: 50% off MeUndies at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.meundies.com/paring⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - code PARING 10 Free Meals from Hello Fresh:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.hellofresh.com/paring10fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Only $2.99 per meal from Every Plate: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.everyplate.com/podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - CODE: paring299 High-quality, eco-friendly activewear at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠fabletics.com/PARING⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & use code PARING at checkout- sign up as a VIP and get 80% off everything. Ethical, luxury women's clothing at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince.com/paring⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. ⁠⁠https://www.wayfair.com/⁠⁠ $300 off Air Doctor Pro air purifier:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://airdoctorpro.com/ -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Use code PARING Storyworth Memoirs to capture your loved one's life— get $10+ off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.storyworth.com/paring⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 20% off at Cozy Earth: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.cozyearth.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - code PARING Use code PARING at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠jonesroadbeauty.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get a Free Cool Gloss with your first purchase! 20% OFF any AquaTru water purifier when you go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AquaTru.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and use promo code PARING Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(237)

232: How Academic Pressure Hurts Kids’ Mental Health (And What Parents Can Do) with Dr. Stuart Slavin

As parents, we want our kids to succeed, but when does the pressure to achieve start taking a toll on their mental health? I sat down with Dr. Stuart Slavin, pediatrician, researcher, and author of ...

4 Nov 1h 1min

231: Letting Minimalism Evolve with Your Life with Desirae Endres

Living a decluttered life doesn't look the same during different seasons of our lives, and that's perfectly normal. Today, Desirae Endres from the Minimal-ish podcast joins me on the show to talk abou...

3 Nov 1h

230: Decluttering Tips that Stick, My Toddler Got Stuck in a Vending Machine, & Halloween Costumes

Here's what you'll find in this week's mini episode, a.k.a. Chai Chat! I answer: 1. Really craving so much less of EVERYTHING now—empty nest recently. What are some tips to just get it out? 2. ...

29 Okt 19min

229: Adult Sibling Relationships: How We Became Close Despite Our Differences (feat. my brother, Jim Oliver)

Today my older brother Jim and I get brutally honest about what it really takes to stay close as adult siblings—especially as siblings who used to fight nonstop. We look back on the tension of our te...

28 Okt 59min

228: Save Money & Declutter Your House Using Healthy Money Mindsets with Crystal Paine

The Money Saving Mom herself, Crystal Paine, joins us to share how to build a healthier relationship with money, whether you're an overspender or an underspender (like me). Crystal dove straight to t...

27 Okt 1h

227: How to Store Backstock, How I Grew My Platform, & Flight Anxiety

Here's what you'll find in this week's mini episode, a.k.a. Chai Chat! I answer: 1. What are some tips for storing “extras”? It’s a struggle to have a home for everything but then almost need a...

22 Okt 17min

226: How to Raise Emotionally Mature Children with Dr. Lindsay Gibson

What does emotional maturity really look like, and how can we help our kids develop it? For this Good Stuff episode in our series all about strengthening family ties, I sat down with New York Times be...

21 Okt 58min

225: How to Stop Procrastinating with Dana K White

Another New York Times bestselling author is in the house!! Dana K. White is one of the biggest names in decluttering, and her brand new book, Procrastinators Get Stuff Done, is the ultimate guide fo...

20 Okt 57min