276. Dead End Goals: Are Your Ambitions Actually Leading You Toward Meaning?

The goals we set often lead us away from the meaning we ultimately seek.

Meaning in life isn’t a concrete point we can route toward. That’s why we need what Arthur Brooks calls “proxy goals” — and much better ones than we typically choose.

Brooks, a professor at Harvard Business School and author of The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness, says that meaning can't be pursued directly, but rather through proxy goals — markers that lead us to what we're really seeking. “The big, complex, meaning-filled things in life, you can't see them directly,” he says. “If you want to find meaning, you have to have proxy goals.” The problem is that many of us have chosen terrible proxies. “Money, power, pleasure, fame, prestige; those are really bad proxy goals for the meaning of life,” Brooks says. “You're never gonna find it.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Brooks returns to the show, and with host Matt Abrahams, he explores how we can move from searching for meaning to actually finding it. From understanding the three components of meaning to transcending the “me self,” Brooks offers practical guidance for those who strive and strive, yet still feel like something’s missing.

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Episode Reference Links:

• Arthur Brooks
• Arthur’s Book: The Meaning of Life
• Arthur’s Podcast: Office Hours
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• 182. Stop Chasing Time and Start Owning It: Communication, Happiness & Wellbeing

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• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Chapters:

• (00:00) - Introduction
• (02:26) - The Striver Mindset
• (04:00) - Three Parts of Meaning
• (07:50) - Me Self vs. I Self
• (09:59) - Transcendence Explained
• (12:04) - Proxy Goals
• (14:44) - Meaning vs. Achievement
• (18:58) - Daily Protocols
• (20:48) - This or That
• (22:22) - Conclusion

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