SS 255: People of Color in Kink Communities

SS 255: People of Color in Kink Communities

We've talked a lot of bout community lately on the Swingset, and while we've specifically made the point that it's not enough to talk about diversity but to take action to seek it out, we've done a poor job of acknowledging that diversity includes diversity of racial background and we've contributed to a deafening silence around people of color in our communities.

We invited Ms Pomegranate and Mr BLK, two Baltimore, MD kink and sex educators, to join us to specifically discuss kink communities and and to discuss the experience of people of color in kink communities. Together, we hit what it can mean to feel ignored or erased when attempting to integrate into a community. We acknowledged that people of color have an extra threshold of acceptance. We discussed what makes communities safe, and what we can do to reach out and make communities feel safer to people of color and as a result, everyone. We discuss people who exploit safe spaces, and discuss what happens when an entire group takes a negative stereotype on behalf of a single bad actor. We touch on racial fetishes, assumptions surrounding them, and how without consent, racial fetishes dehumanize their targets, and how people can switch from fetish to racism as soon as they don't get what they're looking for.

If you're attending Woodhull's Sexual Freedom Summit on August 6th, Mr BLK and Ms Pomegranate are presenting on Different Shades of Kink: Questions of Diversity in Sex Positive Lifestyles (#SFSShades) and giving rope demos throughout!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.You can find the self-described wonder twins Ms Pomegranate and Mr BLK on twitter @BlkPomegranate and on their website www.theblackpomegranate.com.

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You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music from Haywyre: Sculpted, from the Two Fold Pt. 1 Album, and from Stephen Walking: Claptrap, and from Noisestorm: This Feeling.

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Episoder(431)

SS 083: The Pick-Up In Non Monogamy with Cunning Minx

SS 083: The Pick-Up In Non Monogamy with Cunning Minx

The Pick-up, we discuss vanilla pick-up culture briefly while moving into how to be picked up, how to message people online, and meeting people in real life. The concept of a codex, or a user manual (RTFM!) for potential hookups and dating partners to use comes up and we spend a lot of time figuring out what goes into it and what it actually means. While we lose a Ginger this episode, we pick up a Cunning Minx and have a great time!   Minx's User Manual Cunning Minx on Twitter Polyamory Weekly Join the Swingset crew at Desire Resort & Spa from November 3-10, 2012!

6 Aug 20121h 10min

SS 082: Geeksexuality - Making Porn, Bisexual Males, Bush, & Quantum Physics

SS 082: Geeksexuality - Making Porn, Bisexual Males, Bush, & Quantum Physics

We are joined by Ned & Maggie Mayhem, geeksexual porn stars who's mantra is to just be themselves in porn. We gush over them a while, Cooper admits their site is the first porn site he's ever paid for. The discussion leads to making porn, bringing toys into the bedroom, male use of the Hitachi Magic Wand, male bisexuality in porn, and identifying as queer.

23 Jul 20121h 7min

SS 081: Open SF Debrief III - Learning to Speak Up, Browsing SF, and a Farewell Lunch

SS 081: Open SF Debrief III - Learning to Speak Up, Browsing SF, and a Farewell Lunch

We finish our debrief from our experience at Open SF Non-Monogamy Conference. We discuss seminars we attended, Dylan laments falling asleep, Cooper explains how The Brown Eyed Girl took them all out for a spin around town and how he learned to ask for what he wants, we break in the middle for a little discussion on companies who take public stances on issues, and we end with a farewell lunch on Monday with Pepper Mint.

16 Jul 201253min

SS 080: Open SF Debrief II - Magic Brownies, Presentations, Hot Tubs, Flirting, & Sex

SS 080: Open SF Debrief II - Magic Brownies, Presentations, Hot Tubs, Flirting, & Sex

We continue our debrief from our experience at Open SF Non-Monogamy Conference. We discuss seminars we attended, including Charlie Glickman, Tristan Taormino, and the presentation we gave. Cooper gets a magic brownie and tries to pick up a Brown-Eyed Girl, and talks about how incredibly charming The Professor is. The gang goes on a San Francisco odyssey to find a hot-tub in the hills, and Dylan gets a girl.

9 Jul 20121h 4min

SS 079: Open SF Debrief I - Dom/sub, Sex Parties, & San Francisco

SS 079: Open SF Debrief I - Dom/sub, Sex Parties, & San Francisco

The gang begins their full debrief from the Open SF Non-Monogamy conference. Cooper experiences both Dom and sub play in a single night, and processes his feelings on Domination, humiliation, choking, as well as being flogged, spanked, and fondled. Dylan holds court and plays Cards Against Humanity with friends. Ginger and the Prof discover the fuck monster at the Pink Play Party. Shira brings a two boys to their first play party.

2 Jul 201255min

SS 078: In Bed With The Swingset - Flirting, Drinking, Safe Words, A Sex Toy Box, & Chaos

SS 078: In Bed With The Swingset - Flirting, Drinking, Safe Words, A Sex Toy Box, & Chaos

The Swingset crew is drinking in bed together at the Open SF conference. For a good long while we giggle and talk of almost nothing. Dylan shamelessly flirts with the ladies. We move on to talking about Dom/sub play, and Cooper's fears getting into it. The discussion leads to relationship safe words and the Get Out of Jail Free Card in dealing with relationship conflict. We talk aftercare and then dig into Cooper's sex toy box while Dylan just wants to make out with Ginger's thigh.

23 Jun 20121h

SS 077: Sex With Benefits – Progressive Swinging – Live From The Open SF Conference

SS 077: Sex With Benefits – Progressive Swinging – Live From The Open SF Conference

The Swingsetters are live in San Francisco at the Open SF Conference on non-monogamy to discuss Progressive Swinging, where swingers are gradually sliding down the spectrum toward long term relationships, and even !!GHASP!! love. We take questions from the audience and Cooper gets all riled up.

15 Jun 201259min

SS 076: Gang-Bang The Mailbag III – Jealousy in Open Relationships

SS 076: Gang-Bang The Mailbag III – Jealousy in Open Relationships

We return to the mailbag, still full after last week to discuss a number of jealousy related issues. A newly poly girl is uncomfortable with her husband dating his monogamous ex girlfriend, what is the difference between different flavors of non-monogamy, is jealousy healthy, does it show your partner that you care?

4 Jun 201251min

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