SS 255: People of Color in Kink Communities

SS 255: People of Color in Kink Communities

We've talked a lot of bout community lately on the Swingset, and while we've specifically made the point that it's not enough to talk about diversity but to take action to seek it out, we've done a poor job of acknowledging that diversity includes diversity of racial background and we've contributed to a deafening silence around people of color in our communities.

We invited Ms Pomegranate and Mr BLK, two Baltimore, MD kink and sex educators, to join us to specifically discuss kink communities and and to discuss the experience of people of color in kink communities. Together, we hit what it can mean to feel ignored or erased when attempting to integrate into a community. We acknowledged that people of color have an extra threshold of acceptance. We discussed what makes communities safe, and what we can do to reach out and make communities feel safer to people of color and as a result, everyone. We discuss people who exploit safe spaces, and discuss what happens when an entire group takes a negative stereotype on behalf of a single bad actor. We touch on racial fetishes, assumptions surrounding them, and how without consent, racial fetishes dehumanize their targets, and how people can switch from fetish to racism as soon as they don't get what they're looking for.

If you're attending Woodhull's Sexual Freedom Summit on August 6th, Mr BLK and Ms Pomegranate are presenting on Different Shades of Kink: Questions of Diversity in Sex Positive Lifestyles (#SFSShades) and giving rope demos throughout!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.You can find the self-described wonder twins Ms Pomegranate and Mr BLK on twitter @BlkPomegranate and on their website www.theblackpomegranate.com.

Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again.

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You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music from Haywyre: Sculpted, from the Two Fold Pt. 1 Album, and from Stephen Walking: Claptrap, and from Noisestorm: This Feeling.

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Episoder(431)

SS 067: Newly Non-Monogamous - Do We Like New Swingers & Polyamorists?

SS 067: Newly Non-Monogamous - Do We Like New Swingers & Polyamorists?

After a detour involving Prof Stephen Hawking's time spent at a sex club, we discuss new swingers, polyamorists, and non-monogamists. Cooper and Dylan both profess their affection with newbies, while Shira and Ginger confess they make them nervous. After the break we talk about our own experiences being newbies, and get sidetracked again by a discussion of Classic Chicago Commercials. Cooper closes the show by reviewing Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Pegging.

19 Mar 201258min

SS 066: Chemistry - Connections, Pheromones, & Animal Attraction in Non-Monogamy

SS 066: Chemistry - Connections, Pheromones, & Animal Attraction in Non-Monogamy

Dylan launches a custom sexy talk service. We discuss the ethics and reasoning behind wanting or not wanting to date someone you're mentoring. Cooper and Dylan both want to fuck all their friends. We discuss what chemistry means to us all, the surprise of a chemistry blindside, and the difficulty of getting four way chemistry in swinging dating. Cooper reviews the Nexus Revo.

5 Mar 20121h 10min

SS 065: Friends & Lovers - Do We Want To Be Friends With These People We Fuck?

SS 065: Friends & Lovers - Do We Want To Be Friends With These People We Fuck?

JV Altharas and Shara from Ending The Sexual Dark Age join us to discuss the dichotomy of being friends with your swinging playmates, and how we feel that enhances the value of the sex, but also how that can drift into other ares. We get sidetracked by the idea of writing directions on thighs, Cooper updates his Poly experiment, and Dylan rants about politics.

27 Feb 20121h 14min

SS 064: Kink-O-Rama - Pegging, Voyeurism, Sapiosexuals, & Comfort

SS 064: Kink-O-Rama - Pegging, Voyeurism, Sapiosexuals, & Comfort

We cold open with Cooper having a butt plug (hand crafted by Boris at BnDpodcast.com) inserted by Marilyn, then lead into a discussion of our kinks kicked off by a listener voicemail request. We round robin it for a while, discovering some of our surface kinks, resistance play, certain clothes, BDSM and pegging tops the list. Dylan spends much of the show insisting he doesn't have any kinks before realizing time and again that he does. We also talk about being squicked out by some people's kinks, and the difference between kink and fetish.

18 Feb 20121h 10min

SS 063: Swinging For Dummies IV - Relationships, Websites, & Sexy Vacations

SS 063: Swinging For Dummies IV - Relationships, Websites, & Sexy Vacations

We wrap up our "Swinging For Dummies" primer for the swinging lifestyle with the future. We discuss the types of relationships you might want to have with your swinging playmates, how to discuss that with them, how to determine what you're trying to get out of swinging, what websites you might use, and then shamelessly we implore you to join us in Desire this November.

7 Feb 20121h 2min

SS 062: Swinging For Dummies III – Rules & Group Sex

SS 062: Swinging For Dummies III – Rules & Group Sex

We squick Dylan out with talk of dragon sex. Dylan vindicates himself with a listener voicemail about post vasectomy emptiness, then discusses his gigantic balls. Once we establish that Shira is the Dummy of the title, we begin by discussing the difference between soft swap and full swap, same and separate rooms, and group sex.  We discuss developing community, not rushing, and rules, how being drunk is a turn-off. You're dating as a team.

30 Jan 20121h 7min

SS 061: Swinky - A Very BDSM Show Length Business

SS 061: Swinky - A Very BDSM Show Length Business

The Swingset crew gets quickly sidetracked by business that rapidly consumes the show. Dylan wants to be a Dom, Shira is enjoying being submissive. Cooper assigns the listeners the quest for a high quality strap on dildo that can squirt. We talk about being a switch, Cooper reveals his submissive tendencies, and we realize that we've talked far too long to continue the Swinging For Dummies show before next week.

23 Jan 201242min

SS 060: Swinging For Dummies II - Talking To Your Partner About Non-Monogamy

SS 060: Swinging For Dummies II - Talking To Your Partner About Non-Monogamy

We continue our "Swinging For Dummies" discussion by moving into how to talk to your partner about your interest in non-monogamy. We weigh the idea of non-monogamy being a "deal-breaker" for your relationship and the future. Also on topic is potential for jealousy, the importance of LOTS of communication, and the excellent resources Sex at Dawn and Opening Up. When all is said and done, it's important to remember that you're going to be okay TOGETHER.

16 Jan 201254min

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