SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

It's pretty much a given that, at some point or another in swinging or polyamory, there will be boundary violations, safer sex failures, and other moments you'd talked about and thought about and made rules about. No matter how much hypothetical thought goes into it, though, often being confronted with these things in the real world can cause some serious "knocked on your ass" moments. Tonight we talk about how to process boundary violations, safer sex failures, and the importance of compassion throughout the process.

Dylan relayed his recent protection failure story, consisting of a condom sliding off during sex resulting in condomless ejaculation. While the story and the people involved were incredibly sexy, the mistakes made (delaying telling a partner, processing the failure as offense, lack of perspective on the risk of playing with others) resulted in an otherwise pleasant encounter into something to suffer through.

Cooper makes the point that something will happen over the course of a swinging lifetime, and that you should treat others how you'd want to be treated if you were the one who'd "screwed up" somehow, that compassion in necessary because everyone is hurting when there's no intent to harm.

The group moves into discussing "odd-man out" scenarios in which (usually) the male half of a couple who ends up not playing has a choice on whether to be mopey and whiny about it, or whether to enjoy his partner's pleasure and the atmosphere, and to potentially live to play again later in the night. Dylan once again relays a story of not taking his usual care to see the "odd-man out" partner before joining his wife in a threesome, and speaks of some real regret in not doing so after seeing a well meaning person hurting.


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While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Rich Edwards - For You (featuring Park Avenue)

Richard Caddock, WRLD, Nitro Fun, Slips & Slurs & Subtact - Break The Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Episoder(431)

SS 208: Evolution - The Porn Industry and from Performer to Educator with jessica drake

SS 208: Evolution - The Porn Industry and from Performer to Educator with jessica drake

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13 Mai 20151h 1min

SS 207: Ejaculating Dildos & Simulacrum Genitals with Stephanie Berman

SS 207: Ejaculating Dildos & Simulacrum Genitals with Stephanie Berman

Way back in 2011 Life on the Swingset issued a pleasure quest. Find a quality ejaculating dildo. Over the years, we did NOT find quality dildos, we DID find Miko, though, so it was a win over all. Tonight we have Steph Berman with us, creator of The Semenette, the best ejaculating dildo I've ever seen, to talk with us about simulacrum genitals. We spoke at length about the original mission of The Semenette, to provide a way for partners to conceive and still connect in a sexy and fun way, and opened up to possibilities of users and partners playing in safe and non procreative ways; pegging, cum play, new ways for those with erectile dysfunction to still experience the pleasure of ejaculating on and in someone... it's a very versatile dildo.

6 Mai 20151h

SS 206: Swinging For Dummies VIII:  Full Swap & Soft Swap

SS 206: Swinging For Dummies VIII: Full Swap & Soft Swap

We're back with more Swinging basics in our Swinging for Dummies series! Full Swap and Soft Swap are the two main classifications of swinging, with full swap including traditional PIV/PIA ( penis in vagina/penis in anus ) sex and soft swap not. Tonight on Life on the Swingset the podcast, we're going to be talking about the decision making that can lead you from one classification to another, as well as the benefits and drawbacks of both. But, you know, sexy like.   Also… Take a listen to The Drifters – Save the Last Dance For Me!

29 Apr 20151h 9min

SS 205:  Gang Bang the VoiceMailbag

SS 205: Gang Bang the VoiceMailbag

We hit the jackpot when it comes to voicemail questions in this episode. In fact, our voicemailbag runneth over. The Swingset crew gathers around to listen to your questions this time around. The crew tackle questions about humans being suited for monogamy, use of alcohol in the lifestyle, defense of the no kissing rule in the lifestyle, even the use of the term "the lifestyle." There's also a special treat for you, Swingsetters. Enjoy the song "Sock Puppet" by the band Sticky Biscuits. An awesome song about fisting.  Keeping calling in with those voicemail questions. We'd love to do more Gang Bang The VoicemailBag episodes.

22 Apr 20151h 25min

SS 204: Figuring Out What You Want and How to Ask For It - Live at CatalystCon East 2015

SS 204: Figuring Out What You Want and How to Ask For It - Live at CatalystCon East 2015

So many people don’t know what they want or need sexually. Discovering those wants and needs can be a difficult process without some sexual sherpa to guide them. Then they need to be able to turn those wants into requests, so they can get all the hedonistic delight they deserve as members of the human race. Cooper Beckett, Ginger Bentham, Dylan Thomas, & Miko Technogeisha, hosts of Life on the Swingset, The Podcast, bring you a live interactive discussion about figuring out what you want, and how to ask for it. We cover self-exploration, defining and exploring boundaries, communicating desire and being attentive, as well as open the floor up to audience questions and stories.

8 Apr 20151h 22min

SS 203: A New Beginning - Loin on the Swineset, The Bedcast

SS 203: A New Beginning - Loin on the Swineset, The Bedcast

Hazy insanity, that is all. "It's like Goldschlager, you want to see the chunks." "When I'm rubbing lube on your cock, I just want to, feel the chunks." let me google that for you: pig penis "Is Ginger now the other white meat?" - J.V. Tom Ridge's Color Coding System for Swingset Podcasts "I've got a code brown." Cooper's Leetspeak needs some help, thought "FTW" meant "fuck the world" #oldmancooper "Obviously we are all down with OPP." "Other people's pork?" (Ginger wtf) "I asked Gillian Anderson out... on twitter." - Ginger "We did white privilege roleplay." - Miko   You can find this and other bedcasts at lifeontheswingset.com/whatthefuck Dylan as Tom Cruise on Oprah's Couch lifeontheswingset.com/14993/ss-111-in-bed-with-the-swingset-ii-recorded-live-at-catalystcon-east/ Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Join us on our trip to Desire in 2015, where we're going, we don't need clothes! Buy Cooper's book My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at MyLotSS.com Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Comments? Complaints? Comment on this post or join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

1 Apr 20151h 33min

SS 202: Finding and Creating Sex-Positive Community with Dr. Dick

SS 202: Finding and Creating Sex-Positive Community with Dr. Dick

Humans have been having sex since the beginning of time. And from cave drawings to the Kama Sutra to The Joy of Sex, we have been inventing ways to communicate about the sex we are having. Then Al Gore invented the Internet and everything changed. Tonight we are excited to finally welcome esteemed sexologist, Dr Richard Wagner, also known as Dr. Dick, onto the Swingset to reflect on how technology and access to sexual information has shaped our ability to embody our most authentic sexual selves.

18 Mar 20151h 16min

SS 201: Girl on Girl - Girl Sex 101 with Allison Moon

SS 201: Girl on Girl - Girl Sex 101 with Allison Moon

Girl on girl...the mythology and visual ecstasy live large from Spring Break to Bourbon Street. Girl on girl sex is worthy of being epic. And certainly deserves more respect than main stream culture affords. Girl sex can perhaps be a little less obvious, though no less delicious. We are excited to welcome Allison Moon, author of Girl Sex 101 to episode 201 of Life on the Swingset. Scott Adams had something to say about monogamy this week.   [powerpress] Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Join us on our trip to Desire in 2015, where we're going, we don't need clothes! Buy Cooper's book My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at MyLotSS.com Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Comments? Complaints? Comment on this post or join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

12 Mar 20151h 15min

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