SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

It's pretty much a given that, at some point or another in swinging or polyamory, there will be boundary violations, safer sex failures, and other moments you'd talked about and thought about and made rules about. No matter how much hypothetical thought goes into it, though, often being confronted with these things in the real world can cause some serious "knocked on your ass" moments. Tonight we talk about how to process boundary violations, safer sex failures, and the importance of compassion throughout the process.

Dylan relayed his recent protection failure story, consisting of a condom sliding off during sex resulting in condomless ejaculation. While the story and the people involved were incredibly sexy, the mistakes made (delaying telling a partner, processing the failure as offense, lack of perspective on the risk of playing with others) resulted in an otherwise pleasant encounter into something to suffer through.

Cooper makes the point that something will happen over the course of a swinging lifetime, and that you should treat others how you'd want to be treated if you were the one who'd "screwed up" somehow, that compassion in necessary because everyone is hurting when there's no intent to harm.

The group moves into discussing "odd-man out" scenarios in which (usually) the male half of a couple who ends up not playing has a choice on whether to be mopey and whiny about it, or whether to enjoy his partner's pleasure and the atmosphere, and to potentially live to play again later in the night. Dylan once again relays a story of not taking his usual care to see the "odd-man out" partner before joining his wife in a threesome, and speaks of some real regret in not doing so after seeing a well meaning person hurting.


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While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

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Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Rich Edwards - For You (featuring Park Avenue)

Richard Caddock, WRLD, Nitro Fun, Slips & Slurs & Subtact - Break The Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Episoder(431)

Podcast Gangbang in Paradise! (feat. By the Bi and The Bedhoppers)

Podcast Gangbang in Paradise! (feat. By the Bi and The Bedhoppers)

Dylan, Tonia, Ginger, Ryan, Ophelia, and Cooper arrive early to the gorgeous ocean-side live podcast venue. They host Mr and Mrs H, the Bedhoppers, and Angela and Bradford of the By the Bi podcast for paradise-fueled, freeform, live podcast foreplay. As the gazebo starts to fill with Swingsetters, this large and motley crew discuss the mundane and outlandish with ocean waves in the background. Pull up a seat and join the chaos!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Ephixa & Heartful – Sundance

9 Des 201937min

Dispatches from Desire (Re-Issue)

Dispatches from Desire (Re-Issue)

Dylan, Tonia, Ryan the Prof, and Ginger fall into a few stolen moments on the eighth annual Swingset Takes Desire trip. With the sounds of the ocean and the hot tub in the background, they each take turns waxing philosophical about whatever topic seems to float through their paradise-addled minds. Not quite a bad cast, but close enough to earn the coveted Swingset chaos label. Kick back for a dose of dispatches from Desire.     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Conro – Take Me There Outro Music: Notaker – Wake Up, You're Dreaming

22 Nov 201943min

Premature Desirejaculation

Premature Desirejaculation

Join Dylan, Tonia, Ginger, Ryan (aka Prof), and the Swinger Doc as they storytell and anticipate the eighth Swingset Takes Desire trip. This annual bacchanal brings with it the excitement of anticipation (read: foreplay) and the exhilaration of dreams come true. As reminiscences morph into future possibilities, listen in as desires are laid bare. And really the desires laid bare are the best desires, wouldn't you say?   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Julian Calor – Dream Odyssey Outro Music: CloudNone – Midnight Underground

29 Okt 201954min

Keeping the Sexy in Risk Aware Sex

Keeping the Sexy in Risk Aware Sex

Dylan, Tonia, Ginger, and Ryan (aka Prof) are excited to invite the Swinger Doc back onto the Swingset. As the Swinger Doc says, "Be safe but be sexy!" Stewarding your sexual health and deciding for yourself what risk aware means for you are facets of living in the consensually non-monogamous world. The crew discusses all manner of risk aware sex practices, resisting STI stigma, and helpful communication strategies to keep the sexy in risk aware sex. The crew references the recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report as referenced by CNN. Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Throttle 7 – Where u Are Interstitial and Outro Music: Tokyo Machine – TURBO

26 Okt 201955min

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part Two), Live at #Naughty2019

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part Two), Live at #Naughty2019

Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan present live in front of an audience at Naughty in N'awlins for part two of their panel, Sustaining Open Relationships through Life's Challenges. Not your typical swinger convention topic, the trio share their heartfelt stories about loss, health and medical trauma, and facing death. It's not often on the Swingset that the crew shares about such heavy and activating topics, so choose wisely when you cue up this episode, Swingsetters. Yet the vulnerability, rawness, and emotion are all a part of this life and therefore a part of open relationships. Listen as Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan share their perspectives and strategies for coping, getting your mojo back, and even thriving while healing and integrating traumatic life experiences. We mentioned Andrew Gurza during the panel. You can find his work, both the Disability After Dark podcast and his work as a Disability Awareness Consultant at AndrewGurza.com, and you can find him twitter @theandrewgurza. If you run events than you should contact Andrew to learn how to offer accommodations for all your event attendees. NOPE Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Interstitial Music: CloudNone & Paul Aiden – Anonymous Outro Music: DESERT STAR – Edge of the World Our Triad Review segment includes music by ローマンRoman titled: L O V E, off the P A L M S ( D E L U X E ) album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

13 Okt 201947min

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part One), Live at #Naughty2019

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part One), Live at #Naughty2019

Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan present live in front of an audience at Naughty in N'awlins. Not your typical swinger convention topic, the trio share their heartfelt stories about loss, health and medical trauma, and facing death. It's not often on the Swingset that the crew shares about such heavy and activating topics, so choose wisely when you cue up this episode, Swingsetters. Yet the vulnerability, rawness, and emotion are all a part of this life and therefore a part of open relationships. Listen as Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan share their perspectives and strategies for coping, getting your mojo back, and even thriving while healing and integrating traumatic life experiences. We mentioned Andrew Gurza during the panel. You can find his work, both the Disability After Dark podcast and his work as a Disability Awareness Consultant at AndrewGurza.com, and you can find him twitter @theandrewgurza. If you run events than you should contact Andrew to learn how to offer accommodations for all your event attendees. Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Direct & Matt Van – Cold Ground Our Triad Review segment includes music by ローマンRoman titled: L O V E, off the P A L M S ( D E L U X E ) album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

1 Okt 201959min

Reviews and Riffin'

Reviews and Riffin'

Dylan and Ginger hang out with the Swingset patrons for a live podcast of reviews, listener questions, and some ridiculousness. Ryan The Professor makes his way into this episode like a wrecking ball to share his thoughts. From solo polyamorous parenting to fluid-bonding, these three climb up on the Swingset to riff. And riff they do. *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Outro Music: Tails & Juelz – Cobra Voicemail Music: Summer Was Fun – Pick Up The Phone Review Music: Haywyre – Sculpted

20 Sep 20191h 4min

Pushing Your Edge - Personal Growth Through Sexual Adventure, Live at #Naughty2019

Pushing Your Edge - Personal Growth Through Sexual Adventure, Live at #Naughty2019

Dylan, Ginger, and Cooper presented in front of a live audience at Naughty in N'awlins 2019 about how sexual adventure impacts one's personal growth. Sharing stories, lessons they've learned, and strategies they've employed during their sexual adventuring, the Swingset crew invites you to explore your own personal growth. Pushing your edge and being curious about yourself while sexing can be another facet of the experience along with all the pleasure and fun! *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Interstitial Music: Au5 Feat. Danyka Nadeau – Eden Interstitial Music: Bossfight – No Sleep Outro Music: Disero feat. Joshua Smith – Like That – 02 Like That (Acoustic)

11 Sep 20191h 27min

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