SS 262: Why We Play With Others

SS 262: Why We Play With Others

When people consider exploring non-monogamy, we tell them to picture a pretty good but occasionally difficult relationship (ie, every relationship) and then picture it expanding exponentially because you've added more people. Eventually becoming a tesseract of interlocking and interconnected parts. Each of those parts, believe it or not, have a mind of their own. We've all been in moments where it seems insurmountable, where we acknowledge that this whole damned thing is just too hard and consider the days of monogamous yore. We discuss what pushes us to the edge, and what keeps us going, because playing with and loving others feels so fucking right.

Dylan starts the discussion with a personal update; Tonia feels isolated, not having people she feels she can talk to openly even when she's surrounded by friends contributes to that feeling. It's made her consider giving up this whole non-monogamy thing and it's left Dylan feeling useless since there's not a lot that Dylan can do to directly help. Dylan's feels guilt over some recent success and he hates the feeling that he's leaving her bind.

Cooper mentions that, acknowledging the negative feedback loop Tonia's in, that multiple partners bring a particular joy that we all seek, sexually and emotionally, Dylan explanabrags a bit but then admits that his #1 attraction to this lifestyle is that he no longer has to feel along, because he's part of this exclusive (but very inclusive) club. Ginger seals the point by stating that the relationship choices we make enrich our lives through the people we connect with, and that we bring that energy back to the relationships with those we've built a life with.

Ginger recommends a book, Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples, by Nena O'Neill.

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Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Anna Yvette & Laura Brehm - Summer Never Ends

Pegboard Nerds - Try This

Koven - Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Episoder(431)

SS 260: Double Penetration and Other Varsity Sexual Moves

SS 260: Double Penetration and Other Varsity Sexual Moves

There are few acts in the pantheon of sexuality that carry with them so much intrigue, coveting, and fear, as double penetration, and its more advanced siblings double vaginal and double anal. For one...

15 Sep 20161h 11min

SS 259: Polyamorous as a Person of Color, with Mike Joseph

SS 259: Polyamorous as a Person of Color, with Mike Joseph

While we're pretty good on the Swingset at talking about our experiences in polyamory and swinging, We have limits to our shared experience, so we reached out and asked Mike Joseph to join the Swingse...

7 Sep 20161h 19min

SS 258: Gang Bang The Mailbag 29 - Post-Pregnancy Swinging, Grower vs. Shower

SS 258: Gang Bang The Mailbag 29 - Post-Pregnancy Swinging, Grower vs. Shower

Ginger takes the cords of the mailbag and sits down with Dylan and a LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE as they answer listener questions for the 29th Gang Bang the Mailbag! The Swinger Doc also sits down for anoth...

31 Aug 20161h 3min

On The Wet Coast - Mental Illness

On The Wet Coast - Mental Illness

On this episode we'll be discussing mental illness in non-monogamy with special guest Cooper S Beckett from Life On The Swingset podcast and www.coopersbeckett.com Those of us in non-monogamous circle...

24 Aug 20161h 3min

SS 257: On Breasts and Attraction

SS 257: On Breasts and Attraction

Cooper gets the night off as Ginger makes herself available to Dylan to discuss his attraction to breasts, and his fear that they are the focus of too much attention and energy. The Swinger Doc sits d...

17 Aug 20161h 16min

SS 256: Smoothing Re-Entry, When Our Partners Date or Play Without Us

SS 256: Smoothing Re-Entry, When Our Partners Date or Play Without Us

All three of us here on the Swingset have occasionally dated and played independent of our partners, and all three of our partners have dated and played independent of us. A moment that can be tricky,...

4 Aug 20161h 12min

SS 255: People of Color in Kink Communities

SS 255: People of Color in Kink Communities

We've talked a lot of bout community lately on the Swingset, and while we've specifically made the point that it's not enough to talk about diversity but to take action to seek it out, we've done a po...

27 Jul 20161h 8min

SS 254: The Pursuit of Playmates & Lovers in Swinging & Polyamory

SS 254: The Pursuit of Playmates & Lovers in Swinging & Polyamory

How do you find other swingers? How do you find people to date? Those top a list of frequent questions we get on the Swingset. As outsiders looking in, as people curious to get started, we all wonder ...

14 Jul 20161h 8min

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