SS 262: Why We Play With Others

SS 262: Why We Play With Others

When people consider exploring non-monogamy, we tell them to picture a pretty good but occasionally difficult relationship (ie, every relationship) and then picture it expanding exponentially because you've added more people. Eventually becoming a tesseract of interlocking and interconnected parts. Each of those parts, believe it or not, have a mind of their own. We've all been in moments where it seems insurmountable, where we acknowledge that this whole damned thing is just too hard and consider the days of monogamous yore. We discuss what pushes us to the edge, and what keeps us going, because playing with and loving others feels so fucking right.

Dylan starts the discussion with a personal update; Tonia feels isolated, not having people she feels she can talk to openly even when she's surrounded by friends contributes to that feeling. It's made her consider giving up this whole non-monogamy thing and it's left Dylan feeling useless since there's not a lot that Dylan can do to directly help. Dylan's feels guilt over some recent success and he hates the feeling that he's leaving her bind.

Cooper mentions that, acknowledging the negative feedback loop Tonia's in, that multiple partners bring a particular joy that we all seek, sexually and emotionally, Dylan explanabrags a bit but then admits that his #1 attraction to this lifestyle is that he no longer has to feel along, because he's part of this exclusive (but very inclusive) club. Ginger seals the point by stating that the relationship choices we make enrich our lives through the people we connect with, and that we bring that energy back to the relationships with those we've built a life with.

Ginger recommends a book, Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples, by Nena O'Neill.

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Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Anna Yvette & Laura Brehm - Summer Never Ends

Pegboard Nerds - Try This

Koven - Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Episoder(431)

SS 176: In Bed With The Semi-Nude Swingset

SS 176: In Bed With The Semi-Nude Swingset

There is much to say about this recording. And also very little. You see it sits in a portion of our minds, like it sits behind a drop of water, but who are we kidding, it sits behind drink. The foul stuff that has put us in a very boisterous mood to say the least. To say the very least. It isn't long before everything breaks down. The center simply CANNOT hold. And you get this. You are presented with this. It's a good thing, I think, that our past two episode have been of highest quality. Because this? This is a bedcast.

1 Okt 201457min

SS 175: Hump & Circumstance - Talking Group Sex - Live At CatalystCon West

SS 175: Hump & Circumstance - Talking Group Sex - Live At CatalystCon West

Life on the Swingset returns to CatalystCon West for a live podcast about group sex You know that one thing you can do outside monogamy that you can’t do within? You can have group sex. That’s right, many people getting naked and sexy together. That’s how the non-monogamous do. So today, for our very first live podcast (which is only a mild distinction from panel) we are talking about that whole thing that makes us different than the monos, group sex.

24 Sep 20141h 6min

SS 174: Bacchanalia Basics: It's Play Party Time! – Live At CatalystCon West

SS 174: Bacchanalia Basics: It's Play Party Time! – Live At CatalystCon West

Life on the Swingset returns to CatalystCon West for a panel discussion about throwing and attending a play party. They’re whispered about, opinions are drawn, expectations are high for both attendees and non. The sex party, the play party, the swinger party, call it what you will, to anyone who’s never been to one they conjure up visions of hedonistic abandon, or deeply creepy masked affairs. With so many people looking to explore their sexuality and needing a safe place to do so, play parties have value far beyond a whole bunch of naked people in a room. They can educate as well as titillate. So that's what we're here to talk about today.

17 Sep 20141h 13min

SS 173: Swinging With Scars - Body Image & Identity After Major Life Changes

SS 173: Swinging With Scars - Body Image & Identity After Major Life Changes

Emotional scars, physical scars, both can wreak havoc on your emotional state and body image, especially when you feel different than before. Earlier this year Ginger took a hiatus from the Swingset for a body change, and tonight we're talking about why.   Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Join us at CatalystCon West September 11-14 - use the promo code SWINGSET to save $10 off your pass! Want to help our friends at Burlesque Toy Shop get their first brick and mortar boutique off the ground in Philadelphia? Head over to their indiegogo campaign and pledge. Some great pledge prizes to be had, including a LELO Mona 2 for far less than you'd buy it anywhere else. If buying a product from their online store, save 20% when you use the promo code swingburlesque at checkout! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14! Comments? Complaints? Comment on this post or join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

10 Sep 20141h 7min

SS 172: Organizing & Travelling with Sex Toys - What To Do With Our Dildos, Vibrators, Lube, Rope, Floggers, & Other Fun Things

SS 172: Organizing & Travelling with Sex Toys - What To Do With Our Dildos, Vibrators, Lube, Rope, Floggers, & Other Fun Things

The two most non-"how do I start swinging" questions we get on the Swingset is how do you organize your sex toys and how do you travel with sex toy, so we go in depth with advice and suggestions on what to do with your growing piles of sexy at your own house and on the road.

4 Sep 20141h 9min

SS 171: Coming Out Kinky with Guest Jean Franzblau

SS 171: Coming Out Kinky with Guest Jean Franzblau

Jean Franzblau, speaker, writer and performer of the one woman show "Coming Out Kinky: A Grown Up Comedy" joins us for a discussion of her show as well as a performed excerpt, and a discussion on being kinky in general and what it means to show that to the world.

28 Aug 201459min

SS 170: The Messiness of Speaking Out About Sex and CatalystCon with Guest Dee Dennis

SS 170: The Messiness of Speaking Out About Sex and CatalystCon with Guest Dee Dennis

After the explosive finale of last March's CatalystCon East, we bring Dee Dennis back on the show to discuss how hard it often is to get a dialog going about sex without having dissent everywhere. We try to parse the value of community vs being snarky, and Cooper drops the shocking revelation that sometimes he is controversial.

20 Aug 20141h 15min

SS 169: Full Swap - Swingset's Partners Take Over The Show

SS 169: Full Swap - Swingset's Partners Take Over The Show

It's bizarro world and Life on the Swingset is going FULL SWAP. The Professor hosts this round table discussion featuring the partners of the Swingset, Ophilia Tesla, Tonia Thomas, and Ronin Technogeisha. They discuss being behind the scenes, putting up with the Swingset, their experience in the lifestyle, their desires and hopes, and quickly run out of time.

13 Aug 20141h 20min

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