SS 262: Why We Play With Others

SS 262: Why We Play With Others

When people consider exploring non-monogamy, we tell them to picture a pretty good but occasionally difficult relationship (ie, every relationship) and then picture it expanding exponentially because you've added more people. Eventually becoming a tesseract of interlocking and interconnected parts. Each of those parts, believe it or not, have a mind of their own. We've all been in moments where it seems insurmountable, where we acknowledge that this whole damned thing is just too hard and consider the days of monogamous yore. We discuss what pushes us to the edge, and what keeps us going, because playing with and loving others feels so fucking right.

Dylan starts the discussion with a personal update; Tonia feels isolated, not having people she feels she can talk to openly even when she's surrounded by friends contributes to that feeling. It's made her consider giving up this whole non-monogamy thing and it's left Dylan feeling useless since there's not a lot that Dylan can do to directly help. Dylan's feels guilt over some recent success and he hates the feeling that he's leaving her bind.

Cooper mentions that, acknowledging the negative feedback loop Tonia's in, that multiple partners bring a particular joy that we all seek, sexually and emotionally, Dylan explanabrags a bit but then admits that his #1 attraction to this lifestyle is that he no longer has to feel along, because he's part of this exclusive (but very inclusive) club. Ginger seals the point by stating that the relationship choices we make enrich our lives through the people we connect with, and that we bring that energy back to the relationships with those we've built a life with.

Ginger recommends a book, Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples, by Nena O'Neill.

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We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Anna Yvette & Laura Brehm - Summer Never Ends

Pegboard Nerds - Try This

Koven - Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Episoder(431)

SS 152: DP, DVP, and DAP - The Double Penetration Spectacular

SS 152: DP, DVP, and DAP - The Double Penetration Spectacular

Today, we discuss double penetration, double vaginal penetration, and double anal penetration, and not just the acts themselves. The act of any sort of double penetration requires thoughtfulness, planning, collaboration, communication, really just enhanced versions of all the skills we learned via trial by fire while finding our own ways into non-monogamy. As DP really is "professional grade" fucking we break it down into the basics, positions, risk-aware practices and being mindful of condom on condom friction, maintaining sufficient erections, being comfortable touching cocks, and we move onto how great it feels and how in the moment it can be easy to lose focus.

2 Apr 20141h 13min

SS 151: Sex Work, Education, & Non-Monogamy with Guest Sabrina Morgan

SS 151: Sex Work, Education, & Non-Monogamy with Guest Sabrina Morgan

Sabrina Morgan is a tireless advocate for sex workers’ rights and education on sex work. Having experience as a sex worker herself, as well as practicing ethical non-monogamy presents its own unique set of challenges when navigating relationships, and she’s here to talk to us about that. We also answer the age old question "Has Cooper been anally fisted?"

24 Mar 20141h 1min

SS 150: Dealing With Shame Around Sexuality, Swinging, & Polyamory With Guest Charlie Glickman

SS 150: Dealing With Shame Around Sexuality, Swinging, & Polyamory With Guest Charlie Glickman

Shame, it creeps up on us, sometimes out of nowhere and sometimes as a slow buildup but it can affect our sexuality in ways we don't expect and don't want. Sometimes tackling shame head on helps, sometimes not addressing it at all helps, but shame when tied in to the wonderful world of non-monogamy can be complex and disconcerting to your multiple partners. Charlie Glickman joins us to help sort out the why, the how, the what, and ways we can process and deal with shame in thoughtful and effective ways so we can get back to doing what most of us really want to do... fucking multiple partners. We hit some major points along the discussion. Using the word should implies shame, it implies judgment, that I know better than you. When we react to shame it reinforces that shame. Keep heavy conversations and fights out of the bedroom. Also keep televisions and smartphones out of the bedroom. Go for a walk together instead, being side by side can disarm adversarial feelings that can creep up from being face to face, aka: Ginger's "side to side not nose to nose" philosophy.  Resources on exploring shame: Sharon Ellison: Taking the War Out of our Words Pema Chödrön: Getting Unstuck Brené Brown   We always recommend Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian's "The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure" , a great way to carry condoms with you for safer sexy time. Get a 20% discount when you use the promo code swingburlesque at checkout. We also name check Tristan Taormino's Rough Sex through Ginger's adoration of a scene with Sasha Grey. Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14? Comments? Complaints? Visit Reddit.com's /r/Swingers; Search for SS 150, or (if you must) click here!

12 Mar 20141h 21min

SS 149: Designing and Defining your Non-Monogamous Relationship

SS 149: Designing and Defining your Non-Monogamous Relationship

How do you handle new relationships now that you’re non-monogamous? It’s like turning a cruise ship around, climbing a mountain, and a myriad of other metaphors. We have long talked about taking your relationship from a place of monogamy to a place of non-monogamy. How to take something that is already defined and do a full on paradigm shift with it, transforming it into something altogether new, exciting, and scary. We have not, really, discussed what it’s like for those of us who are beginning a new relationship with the non-monogamy in place, and what it’s like to design and define the parameters and concepts of a new relationship. This is Life on the Swingset’s 4th anniversary! Happy Birthday Swingset podcast! You’re all grownsed up!

4 Mar 20141h 7min

SS 148: Take It Like A Man: An Introduction to Pegging, Recorded Live at the Tool Shed!

SS 148: Take It Like A Man: An Introduction to Pegging, Recorded Live at the Tool Shed!

Pegging: The act of a female giving anal sex to a male using a strap-on. Some couples enjoy the power reversal of this and some guys simply just like it up the arse. How do we do it? What are the right tools for the job? Does it actually feel good? I'm a straight guy, will pegging make me gay? Lyndzi Miller (@Lyndzi), Tool Shed staff member and sexuality educator, and Cooper answer these questions and cover the basics of pegging, a sexual activity that is quickly gaining popularity. They'll also talk about safety, male anatomy and the health benefits of being pegged. Yes guys, that's right. Taking it in the boot is actually good for you! Audience questions are overdubbed to protect privacy. Audience members asked about exercises women can do to better build up those pegging muscles, techniques when using harness-less toys, prostate orgasm position and technique, and harness maintenance.   Send us a note at contact@lifeontheswingset.com! We're also looking for social media and seo assistance so let us know if you've got the skills and the time to help! Tell us about your experiences with pegging at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464) or send us an e-mail. Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14?  Comments? Complaints? Visit Reddit.com's /r/Swingers; Search for SS148 or pegging or visit via direct link here!

26 Feb 20141h 27min

SS 147: Build Your Own Orgy - How To Have Sex With Many People at Once

SS 147: Build Your Own Orgy - How To Have Sex With Many People at Once

Masturbation is awesome, isn’t it? Sex for two, few would argue, is even better. Threesomes are roundly considered to be one of the epitome’s of the sexual experience. Let’s add a few more to that, shake it right up, and create something spectacular. A writhing mass of sexy, everywhere you look people giving or receiving pleasure. Tonight we talk about that wonder of wonders, that glory of glories, the orgy. Cooper will be joining Lyndzi Miller (@Lyndzi) up in Milwaukee at The Tool Shed: An Erotic Boutique for a workshop, Take it Like a Man: An introduction to pegging! Join them on February 21st, 2014 and buy tickets fast!   Send us (or The Professor) a note at profcomevisitme@lifeontheswingset.com! We're also looking for social media and seo assistance so let us know if you've got the skills and the time to help! We also want to hear about your first, last, best, or worst orgy stories to call us at at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464) or send us an e-mail. Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14?  Comments? Complaints? Visit Reddit.com's /r/Swingers; Search for SS147, or visit via direct link here!

10 Feb 20141h

SS 146: Sexcations - Travelling to Swing With Friends

SS 146: Sexcations - Travelling to Swing With Friends

Swing With Friends! ... except sometimes the distance between those friends is enough to qualify the trip as more of a sexcation instead of a normal date. Whether because we live in less populated areas or because we've struck up online flirtations, sometimes you have people you just want to reach out and touch, but have to drive or fly for a few hours to do so. Doing this sets up a whole list of different but parallel challenges, and rewards, to the normal swing encounter, and that's what w discuss tonight. The hosts of the Erotic Awakening podcast put together a midwestern polyamory summit called Beyond the Love that we name checked during the episode. Host a sexy conference in the midwest and you'll have our love and adoration forever! Also...w e apologize for calling it "share the love", in the moment Dylan forgot how to brain. He may have been thinking about the Tonia being interested in a gangbang. Contact us about anything at contact@lifeontheswingset.com! You can find us on twitter at @swingsetlife, @technogeisha, @dylan_swingset, and @gingerntheprof! Send us your sexy orgasmic voicemails at 573-55-SWING, that's 573-557-9464! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14?  Comments? Complaints? Visit Reddit.com's /r/Swingers; We'll have our comment thread up later today and will let you know via Twitter and Facebook! ... by the way, while Climax, MI -is- along I-69, the exit Dylan discussed was actually along I-94 and you can view the Google Streetview image of it here. :)

3 Feb 201458min

SS 145:  Geeking Out About Sex With Kate McCombs, Founder of Sex Geekdom

SS 145: Geeking Out About Sex With Kate McCombs, Founder of Sex Geekdom

Sex is awesome. We’re all on board with that, right? Beyond the act, er, acts, for many of us (in fact I’d wager a large percentage of our listeners) getting information about sex carries with it its own form of titillation and enjoyment. That’s the purview of the sex geek. Tonight we’re lucky enough to be joined by Kate McCombs who has turned geeking out about sex into an art form, and into her life. In business, we touched on Kiss a Ginger day and on Technogeisha and Dylan heading to Catalyst East from March 14-16 to be fan boys and fan girls. Also, if you must know... here is information on echidna penis. [technical note] from Dylan: We have both a very simple process for recording our podcasts (Skype), and a slightly more complicated process (individual audio streams recorded locally) to give us better audio and to eliminate single points of failure resulting in the total loss of an episode. During the record of this episode we experience two failures significant enough that the release audio quality is not up to par, we ended up with two local audio feeds that had significant amounts of noise and feedback and had an audio feed send audio right back into the skype stream resulting in a rougher than usual sounding episode. I apologize for the audio in some parts and I'm doing my best to make sure it doesn't happen again.[/technical note]   You can find Kate McCombs at SexGeekdom.com and on twitter at @KateCom! Contact us about anything at contact@lifeontheswingset.com! You can find us on twitter at @swingsetlife, @technogeisha, @dylan_swingset, and @gingerntheprof! Send us your sexy orgasmic voicemails at 573-55-SWING, that's 573-557-9464! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14?  Comments? Complaints? Visit Reddit.com's /r/Swingers; search for SS 145 or visit via direct link here!

29 Jan 201459min

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