SS 262: Why We Play With Others

SS 262: Why We Play With Others

When people consider exploring non-monogamy, we tell them to picture a pretty good but occasionally difficult relationship (ie, every relationship) and then picture it expanding exponentially because you've added more people. Eventually becoming a tesseract of interlocking and interconnected parts. Each of those parts, believe it or not, have a mind of their own. We've all been in moments where it seems insurmountable, where we acknowledge that this whole damned thing is just too hard and consider the days of monogamous yore. We discuss what pushes us to the edge, and what keeps us going, because playing with and loving others feels so fucking right.

Dylan starts the discussion with a personal update; Tonia feels isolated, not having people she feels she can talk to openly even when she's surrounded by friends contributes to that feeling. It's made her consider giving up this whole non-monogamy thing and it's left Dylan feeling useless since there's not a lot that Dylan can do to directly help. Dylan's feels guilt over some recent success and he hates the feeling that he's leaving her bind.

Cooper mentions that, acknowledging the negative feedback loop Tonia's in, that multiple partners bring a particular joy that we all seek, sexually and emotionally, Dylan explanabrags a bit but then admits that his #1 attraction to this lifestyle is that he no longer has to feel along, because he's part of this exclusive (but very inclusive) club. Ginger seals the point by stating that the relationship choices we make enrich our lives through the people we connect with, and that we bring that energy back to the relationships with those we've built a life with.

Ginger recommends a book, Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples, by Nena O'Neill.

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We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Anna Yvette & Laura Brehm - Summer Never Ends

Pegboard Nerds - Try This

Koven - Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Episoder(431)

SS 106: It's Naked Party Time - Throwing a Sexy Party with Guest Reid Mihalko

SS 106: It's Naked Party Time - Throwing a Sexy Party with Guest Reid Mihalko

Cooper and Dylan throw some great swinger parties, but not always by design. Much like their journey into non-monogamy, a combination of moxie, trial and error, and luck has combined to create some wonderful stories. Reid Mihalko on the other hand has spent time and effort learning how carefully crafting group dynamics create the best chance of worthwhile parties for everyone, and not necessarily just with swingers. He joins us tonight for a discussion on sexy parties! Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the G-Spotter Pop Top Deluxe Silicone Hitachi Attachment! Follow Reid Mihalko on Twitter at @ReidAboutSex and check out his website at ReidAboutSex.com! Come see us at Catalyst East! RSVP via Facebook and let us know you're coming! Use Discount Code: swingset for 10& off your ticket!

18 Feb 20131h 9min

SS 105: In The Butt - Prostate Play & Anal Sex - Guests: Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian

SS 105: In The Butt - Prostate Play & Anal Sex - Guests: Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian

butts. prostates, both male and female. We're talking all about the rear, from preparation to insertion to orgasm and beyond! Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian, authors of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure join us to chat about anal sex, and what it means for men to be on the receiving end of penetrative sex. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the Fuze Halo Buttplug! Check out The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, by Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian Come see us at Catalyst East! RSVP via Facebook and let us know you're coming! Use Discount Code: swingset for 10& off your ticket!

11 Feb 20131h 9min

SS 104: Confidence Is Like A Magic Wand - Building Confidence and Using It

SS 104: Confidence Is Like A Magic Wand - Building Confidence and Using It

After Shira tells us a bizarre story of having her upper lip devoured by a creeper at a club, Cooper talks about falling in love. This leads to a discussion on his developing confidence, and then to the broader topic of how to be confident, how to build it, and how to wield it.   [powerpress] Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the Silicone Bit Gag by Spartacus Come see us at Catalyst East! RSVP via Facebook and let us know you're coming! Use Discount Code: swingset for 10& off your ticket!

4 Feb 201352min

SS 103: Sex & God - Religion, Swinging, Polyamory, & Sin with Darrel Ray

SS 103: Sex & God - Religion, Swinging, Polyamory, & Sin with Darrel Ray

"Hey Cooper... tell us how you really feel!" "Well alright then."  We've discussed organized religion and how it's affected our own relationship with sexuality, how it influences our community as a whole and... at times, indelicately pointed out where we take issue with its monopoly on morality and its right to judge what's acceptable and what's not.  We finally said fuck it, threw up our arms, and invited Darrel Ray, author of the books The God Virus: How Religion Affects Our Lives and Culture, and Sex and God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality to join us for a discussion on how we really feel, what we see on a day to day basis, and how we can move forward and still live and love those who believe, even if we disagree. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the Feeldoe! Come see us at Catalyst East! RSVP via Facebook and let us know you're coming! Use Discount Code: swingset for 10& off your ticket! Sex and Secularism, The Report at IPCPress.com Study: Non-monogamous couples are as happy as other couples - Salon.com Want! Will... Won't. Chart

28 Jan 20131h 8min

SS 102: Sex Positive Community Building & Conferences - Guest Dee Dennis from CatalystCon East

SS 102: Sex Positive Community Building & Conferences - Guest Dee Dennis from CatalystCon East

Dee Dennis decided to join us for a discussion on building sex positive communities (and the perils within doing so), and how to translate that into a great conference experience! It's apropos as she's also the founder of CatalystCon so... we chat about that just a little bit. :)Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the Aneros Helix Prostate Massager!Come see us at Catalyst East! RSVP via Facebook and let us know you're coming! Use Discount Code: swingset for 10& off your ticket!

21 Jan 20131h 16min

SS 101: Introduction to Progressive Swinging

SS 101: Introduction to Progressive Swinging

For Episode 101 we thought giving a brief "101" lecture on Progressive Swinging felt right. So, we reintroduce and define what we mean by Progressive Swinging, and give you the very basics; what you need, what to expect, and how to proceed. We've approached the basics before, communication, introductions, prep work, but this time with give it to you with a different goal in mind, how to enter into Progressive Swinging. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the String Along Thong! Come see us at Catalyst East! RSVP via Facebook and let us know you're coming!

14 Jan 20131h 10min

SS 100: Looking Back, and Forward to Another 100 Episodes

SS 100: Looking Back, and Forward to Another 100 Episodes

This... is episode 100. We thank our guests, our previous co-hosts, we yell at each other, unbridled chaos abounds everywhere. It's a full 90 minutes of the four of us enjoying each other. Pure joy, true love... To another 100 episodes we go! Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!

1 Jan 20131h 30min

SS Special: Origin Stories: My Journey into Non-Monogamy, a Dylan Story

SS Special: Origin Stories: My Journey into Non-Monogamy, a Dylan Story

Not all of you have been listening weekly for three years (probably... maybe) so by extension, not all of you know how we got here and what we lived through before we discovered these lifestyles we lead. So I'm Dylan, and I'm telling you my story, now. It's long, I spend the first ten minutes talking about pubescent erections but it all leads somewhere, and if you're interested... I'll take you on my little journey through the dark ages of my own sexuality and into my non-monogamy. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!

31 Des 20121h 29min

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