SS 262: Why We Play With Others

SS 262: Why We Play With Others

When people consider exploring non-monogamy, we tell them to picture a pretty good but occasionally difficult relationship (ie, every relationship) and then picture it expanding exponentially because you've added more people. Eventually becoming a tesseract of interlocking and interconnected parts. Each of those parts, believe it or not, have a mind of their own. We've all been in moments where it seems insurmountable, where we acknowledge that this whole damned thing is just too hard and consider the days of monogamous yore. We discuss what pushes us to the edge, and what keeps us going, because playing with and loving others feels so fucking right.

Dylan starts the discussion with a personal update; Tonia feels isolated, not having people she feels she can talk to openly even when she's surrounded by friends contributes to that feeling. It's made her consider giving up this whole non-monogamy thing and it's left Dylan feeling useless since there's not a lot that Dylan can do to directly help. Dylan's feels guilt over some recent success and he hates the feeling that he's leaving her bind.

Cooper mentions that, acknowledging the negative feedback loop Tonia's in, that multiple partners bring a particular joy that we all seek, sexually and emotionally, Dylan explanabrags a bit but then admits that his #1 attraction to this lifestyle is that he no longer has to feel along, because he's part of this exclusive (but very inclusive) club. Ginger seals the point by stating that the relationship choices we make enrich our lives through the people we connect with, and that we bring that energy back to the relationships with those we've built a life with.

Ginger recommends a book, Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples, by Nena O'Neill.

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We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Anna Yvette & Laura Brehm - Summer Never Ends

Pegboard Nerds - Try This

Koven - Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Episoder(431)

SS 059: Swinging For Dummies I - Realizing You're Non-Monogamous

SS 059: Swinging For Dummies I - Realizing You're Non-Monogamous

We go back to basics in the first of our Swinging For Dummies episodes. But first, returning friend The Professor tells us about Ginger's panty-less New Years Eve celebration. We talk about the moment when we realized we were non-monogamous and how we dealt with that paradigm shift, how it impacted our perception of ourselves, and where we take that. We talk about cheating and deception while trying to be monogamous. We discuss the impact of monogamy on bisexuality, the complexity of polyamory, and how to begin.

9 Jan 20121h

SS 058: Bareback or Condoms: A Bad Swinger Sex Party

SS 058: Bareback or Condoms: A Bad Swinger Sex Party

After a spirited reading of the suggested uses for the Hitachi Magic Wand, Cooper claims to be the Steward of Gondor, and Dylan and Cooper describe their swing party that went bad.

31 Des 20111h 29min

SS 057: 12 Vibrating Yule Logs - Sex Toys, & The Smitten Kitten

SS 057: 12 Vibrating Yule Logs - Sex Toys, & The Smitten Kitten

18 Des 20111h 5min

SS 056: A Voicemail Gang-Bang - Anal Sex Play, Penis Size, & Pregnant Swingers

SS 056: A Voicemail Gang-Bang - Anal Sex Play, Penis Size, & Pregnant Swingers

After Cooper talks about kissing a boy for the first time, the crew answers voicemails about dealing with penis size concerns while swinging, anal sex play for bi males, reactions to pregnant swingers in a party situation, and our biggest surprises in our time as non-monogamous folk.

12 Des 201150min

SS 055: The Non-Monogamy Umbrella II - Swingers, Open Relationships, & Polyamory, 2gether 4 Eva

SS 055: The Non-Monogamy Umbrella II - Swingers, Open Relationships, & Polyamory, 2gether 4 Eva

We continue our discussion with poly activist and organizer Pepper Mint, but first Cooper and Dylan blow a "fight" over the word queer out of proportion. We discuss eroticizing jealousy, Ginger gets hot over the idea of "straddling the line," Pepper discusses polyamory and gay men. Cooper becomes militant about coming out and rails against the forces of "old and evil." And of course, we all get silly many times.

5 Des 20111h 14min

SS 054: The Non-Monogamy Umbrella I - Can't Swingers And Polyamorists Get Along?

SS 054: The Non-Monogamy Umbrella I - Can't Swingers And Polyamorists Get Along?

Pepper Mint, polyamory blogger, activist, & organizer joins us for a dialog on why the swinging and polyamory camps still have trouble getting along. We rant about a swing club that has been shut down by the authorities. Cooper doesn't want to "put baby in the corner" but finds it easy to shuffle Shira off to the poly side, but even she is shocked by the discussion of poly sex parties. Dylan is horrified to find that sometimes people want to move in after a month; and Ginger confesses her origin story involving Pepper.

26 Nov 201158min

SS 053: Naked In Paradise II - The Swingset Takes Desire Resort & Spa

SS 053: Naked In Paradise II - The Swingset Takes Desire Resort & Spa

We continue our chat with Jim & Char of CharTravel about lifestyle vacations, focusing more on Desire as a whole as Shira asks a number of nitty gritty questions about passports, cost, and the nudity policy. Cooper rants about the foolishness of booking flights with Travelocity. Ginger gets lost in her own little world of Desire fantasies. We discuss food, alcohol, excursions and other things to do at Desire Resort & Spa

10 Nov 201157min

SS 052: Naked In Paradise I - Sexy Vacations and Desire Resort & Spa

SS 052: Naked In Paradise I - Sexy Vacations and Desire Resort & Spa

Have your vacations lately seemed a bit too dull or full of minors? Well tonight we're talking about vacationing the sexy way and taking a lifestyle trip. We discuss the ins and outs of going on a lifestyle or nude vacation at any level of the sexually open lifestyle, about etiquitte, and how to protect yourself and your relationship. We also thoroughly discuss Desire Resort & Spa and our upcoming trip to this fabulous spot in Cancun, Mexico in November 2012.

5 Nov 201152min

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