SS 290: Gang Bang the Mailbag 33 - My Wife and I, the Sequel

SS 290: Gang Bang the Mailbag 33 - My Wife and I, the Sequel

We're Gang Banging the Mailbag once again, it is in fact our 33rd time! Today, Dirty Lola, Cooper S. Beckett, Dr. Liz Powell, and Dylan Thomas answer your listener questions!

Also, Dylan wants to throw a shoutout to Bex Caputo, aka: @BexTalksSex on Twitter, for their article: Changing What You Love: On Considering Hormones While You're Non-Binary

Question 1:

I was hoping you could give my wife and I some advice. My wife and I had talked about swinging for about a year before we actually met and played with our first couple. They checked so many of our boxes for a first encounter that we felt very fortunate to have met them.

The first time happened and was a reasonably good time. Not great by any means, but we didn't have any regrets as we popped our cherrys so to speak and we're both giddy for a month after. We discussed the apparent compatibility issues right away. We decided to take another crack at the full swap with the same couple a month or so later to rule out nervousness. The second encounter allowed us another opportunity to hone in on the things that both did and didn't work for us. We had all but decided that this couple wasn't a compatible fit for us and although round 2 was better, we were still too far away from what we wanted.

Unfortunately, we went in for a third time, because we are slutty and it was easy to do.
Now the question: How do you break up with a couple?

Question 2:

My wife and I started our journey in the Lifestyle about 5 years ago. About 2 years ago we got close to some nearby swingers. (Wendy & Paul)

After a while, Wendy started to get jealous of my wife and her husband. They talked and decided that it was better to play in separate rooms. We did and was good for some time.

All was good until one night my wife visited him without them telling her. We were in a block party and she got a feeling, went to her house and came out really upset. He claims that he texted her. She received a text after the fact. Could it have been a delayed text? Who knows, does not matter. The point is that since that moment it was all drama with them and she pulled out from the relationship.

After that incident my wife and Paul started "dating" without Wendy knowing. After a while he told my wife that he felt uncomfortable of me being around when he was there and he'd rather be with her alone since I have her the vast majority of time, it was fair that she could spend good quality time with him from time to time, without me.

My wife really loves the guy, but she loves me too and this is tearing her up because although I let that situation to go for some time trying to explain them that I didn't like the arrangement and being left out, I finally put the breaks on it. it really kills me to see her so devastated. she wants to be with me and not lose him. he really wants her without me in the way, and I firmly believe that if we embark on a relation like this, me and my wife are the hosts and he would be a guest and should abide by our rules and I have tasted the feeling of being left behind and I didn't like it.... Am I wrong? What should I do? I'm really confused now.

Question 3:

I'm military serving in Afghanistan and I have been gone for several months with a few more to go. My wife and I have played together as a couple with other couples and an occasional single female once or twice.

Recently, we've increased our dirty chatting and sharing fantasies, becoming more and more graphic. She was attending a camping event that I knew drinks would be flowing along with some nudity. I found myself very excited at the prospect of my wife become sexual with another man.

All sort of situations played out in my mind. After, she shared that there was no more than a little light petting & teasing, but nothing more.

We then ventured into adding some fantasy to the reality in the retelling of the weekends events. Then over the course of the past week, we were discussing her getting wild and I was encouraging her to be naughty and to be sure to send me pictures. I shocked her when I described that I wanted to see some pictures with one of our friends cocks in her mouth. After the initial shock she bought into this plan with some teasing.

Then after Saturday night I was please to receive sexy pictures of her sucking our friends cock, along with some other shots that appeared to show her either on-top of him cowgirl style or being ridden doggy style from behind. She did reveal that those were staged for my enjoyment and that she didn't feel right doing anything beyond oral without me. I found the picture incredibly sexy and my wife told me she felt very sexy doing it.

She has expressed sexual frustration on her end and because of family visiting, she has not had much opportunity to use any of her toys. I've told her that I trust her if she needs to fuck our friend to relieve some frustration, as long as I get the footage of it. The thought excites me and I'd be OK with it once before I return, just not on a routine basis.

I want my wife to be happy and I've told her that I am perfectly happy with what ever she is comfortable with and she should not feel pressured to do anything she is uncomfortable with.

I just wanted to share and see if there is any discussion about dialing in long distance this way?

Question 4:

This past year we found out our 25-year-old son is actually a transgender woman and is currently in transition. Because of our open minded lifestyle, we embrace this 1000%, and have done so from the very first phone call. We have made it clear that our house is a safe space and she can talk about anything wear anything bring home anyone. We are not naïve though we know the rest of the world does not think this way. Our extended families are both very conservative, Christians.

This is a sampling of what I worry every day as the parent of a transgender child:; Will my child have the shit beat out of them today? Will my child be murdered today? But my child commit suicide today? Will my child be fired today? Should my child not have gotten on the train today? And on it goes. I have seen the fear in her eyes stopping at a public highway rest stop, I have felt the fear walking into the public rest stop with her. It is real.

Now the dilemma. There is a big family wedding coming up this spring. The wedding is in North Carolina and our child has told us she is afraid to go there. I totally understand and support that. In showing our support for her we have told family members that we Will not be able to attend the wedding and have explained why. It's not that we don't want to go to the wedding, it is that we can't go to this location. Well, you can imagine how this is going over. We have family members now that are not talking to us and won't return messages. Certainly the easiest thing would be to just go, But we don't think that is the right thing to do. We are sticking by our guns in support of our new daughter but it's coming at a big cost.

Are we doing the right thing?
Again thanks for all you do it is so appreciated.

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Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

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Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Dirty Lola

Episoder(431)

SS 388: The Power of Witness in Relationship Therapy with Catherine

SS 388: The Power of Witness in Relationship Therapy with Catherine

Join Dylan, Ryan, and Ginger as they host Catherine of Expansive Connection. Catherine offers her perspective on relationship therapy and her Power of Witness experience. It can be a challenge for those in polyamorous, open, and multipartnered relationships to find qualified helping professionals who not just tolerate nontraditional relationships, but elevate and celebrate the strengths of those who opt in for creative relationships. The crew talks therapy, truth-telling, and they share personal stories of their own adventures in love and sex. Website: https://www.expansiveconnection.com/lotss Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/expansive.connection.coaching/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/expanconnect  Power of Witness Sign Up (direct link): https://www.nurturingtheconnection.com/a/30219/5mkaT3y8   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: No Rest – Vicetone Business Music: Matroda – Shut It Down

1 Feb 20211h 17min

SS 387: Euretic Consent with Shawn Coleman and Kevin Patterson

SS 387: Euretic Consent with Shawn Coleman and Kevin Patterson

Shawn Coleman and Kevin Patterson join Ginger Bentham, Ryan Bentham, and Dylan Thomas, to discuss consent. They talk practicing consent in every day life. "Consent has to exist in our every day lives and not just be a concept in the legal system." The concept of euretic consent, a term Shawn Coleman has offered the world, is a concept "literally made for this time, this experience, this revolution that we're going through… that invites us to reevaluate our boundaries and our relationships to ourselves." *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Shawn Coleman @OurTouchPoints Twitter | Our Touchpoints Website | Touchpoints: Cuddles and Community YouTube Kevin Patterson @PolyRoleModels Twitter | @PolyRoleModels Instagram | Poly Role Models Website Unf*ck Your Polyamory | For Hire: Operator Paperback | For Hire: Audition Paperback Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Sabai & Hoang feat. Claire Ridgely – Million Days

23 Nov 20201h 8min

SS 386: Thank You Betty Dodson – On Bodysex and More – Friday Night Delights – 2020-08-14 (Part 2)

SS 386: Thank You Betty Dodson – On Bodysex and More – Friday Night Delights – 2020-08-14 (Part 2)

Tonia, Dylan, Ryan the Prof, and Ginger unwind with the Swingsetters after a busy workweek to delight in the Delights on a Friday night for an eclectic array of conversations. Ginger gets on a roll sharing about her double mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction, and then doubles (heh) down to worship Betty Fucking Dodson and Bodysex.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today!   We ask you to consider donating to the Groundswell fund's Rapid Response Fund at groundswellfund.org. They offer fast funding to grassroots organizations led by women of color, trans people of color, and low income women and trans people in critical but unexpected fights to protect and advance reproductive and social justice. They get money to organizations and people who need it the most. Visit groundswellfund.org for donation information.   Intro Music: Direct & Park Avenue – I'll Go Interstitial & Outro Music: Notaker – The Longest Night

9 Nov 20201h 10min

The Shame of Desire, the Consideration of Risk – Friday Night Delights

The Shame of Desire, the Consideration of Risk – Friday Night Delights

Ginger, Tonia, Ryan aka Prof, and Dylan get together for a night of Friday Night Drinking and Delights and accidentally have a deep conversation about desire, shame, selfishness, risk-aware relative to sex and COVID-19, exposure networks and the complication of the return of feelings of jealousy and selfishness, but not before engaging in discussion on: rgb lighting… from the inside jalapenos, easy-tear vinyl gloves, and nitrile gloves period euphemisms uv sterilization… of the vagina bush / pubic hair christmas lights in the bush bush light busch light #ad #sponsored a sex party with a bush light dress code sponsored by busch light #ad #sponsored letterkenny puck bunnies men who grow Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today! We ask you to consider donating to the Groundswell fund's Rapid Response Fund at groundswellfund.org. They offer fast funding to grassroots organizations led by women of color, trans people of color, and low income women and trans people in critical but unexpected fights to protect and advance reproductive and social justice. They get money to organizations and people who need it the most. Visit groundswellfund.org for donation information. Intro, Interstitial, and Closing Music: SMLE & Just a Gent – Revival Episode Introduction Music- "Studio" Steve Wallace – Mega Man 2 – Level Select This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

1 Sep 202056min

A is for Adequate – Friday Night Delights with Cooper, Bradford, and Angela – 2020-06-26

A is for Adequate – Friday Night Delights with Cooper, Bradford, and Angela – 2020-06-26

Shame kinks. Pubic hair. Quarantine Partners. Australia. We're covering all our bases today with Ginger Bentham, Dylan Thomas, Cooper S. Beckett, The Professor, and Angela and Bradford from the By the Bi podcast!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today!   We ask you to consider donating to the Groundswell fund's Rapid Response Fund at groundswellfund.org. They offer fast funding to grassroots organizations led by women of color, trans people of color, and low income women and trans people in critical but unexpected fights to protect and advance reproductive and social justice. They get money to organizations and people who need it the most. Visit groundswellfund.org for donation information.   Podcast Announcements Intro Music: Xilent – Human Error Cold Open Music: Vicetone feat. BullySongs – I Feel Human Intro and Outro Music: Duumu – Breathe Again Interstitial Music: Rameses B – Thinking About You

21 Aug 20201h 37min

Black and Poly in These Times

Black and Poly in These Times

Ruby Johnson LCSW takes over Life on the Swingset and brings Dr. Justin Clardy, Thomas of wearibukun.com and Vision By Thomas,  Charita Marie, and Jhen from the Monogamish Podcast to offer their experiences being black and polyamorous in the midst of covid and the uprising.   You can find Ruby Johnson LCSW on Twitter and Instagram and information about Poly Dallas Millenium on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and at polydallasmillenium.com You can find Dr. Justin Clardy on Twitter, Instagram, and as @pagesla on Instagram. You can find Jhen on Twitter, Instagram, and find the Monogamish Podcast at monogamishpod.com and on Twitter and Instagram. You can find Charita Marie on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and find AcrylicArtTherapy on Instagram. You can also find Out and Equal's 2020 Workplace Summit at outandequal.org/2020-workplace-summit You can find Thomas and Wear Ibukun at wearibukun.com and on Instagram     If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance     Cold Open and Interstitial Music: Candyland & Ricci – Touch Me Intro Music: Fractal – Mountain Hunter Outro Music: Candyland & Shoffy – Faces   Candyland Instagram – Facebook – Soundcloud – Twitter Fractal Twitter – Soundcloud – YouTube – Facebook

24 Jul 20201h 11min

My Damn Gangbang Got Cancelled By COVID - Friday Night Delights - 2020-04-17

My Damn Gangbang Got Cancelled By COVID - Friday Night Delights - 2020-04-17

It's clear from Life on the Swingset reviews that the first episode people listen to greatly shape opinions about the show. If this is your first, getting angry over gangbangs being cancelled, talking about Con Air (the movie) and hair dye is par for the course. Enjoy listening to Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Ryan Bentham, and Lunabelle on another edition of Friday Night Delights. The entry point is key.     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today!     There is an overall lack of research of what it means to feel loved and how people experience love. Luckily, The CSUF Queer Lab at California State University, Fullerton, understands this and has undertaken a project called the CSUF Love Project. They're looking for individuals at least 18 years old that have been/are currently in a consensual non-monogamous relationship! That means the swingers, the polyamorous, the open, and hopefully you! Your background, your sexuality, your identity, your experiences all matter and they'll contribute to a better understanding of love, relationships, and sex. Visit tinyurl.com/loveproj-t to enter the study!   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us... we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance

24 Jun 20201h 19min

COVID-19 and STI Stigma, with Ella Dawson - Friday Night Delights - 2020-05-22

COVID-19 and STI Stigma, with Ella Dawson - Friday Night Delights - 2020-05-22

Ella Dawson joins Ginger, the Professor, and Dylan to discuss reactions to people with / without COVID-19, and how it may affect public discussion surrounding STIs and stigma surrounding people living with STIs. Ella Dawson gave a TEDx Talk about how STIs aren't a consequence, they're inevitable.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!     Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).     There is an overall lack of research of what it means to feel loved and how people experience love. Luckily, The CSUF Queer Lab at California State University, Fullerton, understands this and has undertaken a project called the CSUF Love Project. They're looking for individuals at least 18 years old that have been/are currently in a consensual non-monogamous relationship! That means the swingers, the polyamorous, the open, and hopefully you! Your background, your sexuality, your identity, your experiences all matter and they'll contribute to a better understanding of love, relationships, and sex. Visit tinyurl.com/loveproj-t to enter the study!   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and   If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Conro – The Small THings

4 Jun 20201h 7min

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