SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

Tonight the Swingset opens the mailbag... but does so carefully, as it's -20F outside. Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Bex Caputo, and Lunabelle answer your listener questions!

Question 1:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We have amazing sex, but I can't seem to get satisfied sexually. We have sex/oral sex at least twice a day, but it seems like the more I orgasm, the more I crave it. He's slightly below average size, and I don't have any problems with his size because he knows what to do with it, but he's very self-conscious about his size. I'd love to bring up the topic of polyamory to him, but I'm afraid he'll feel like I want to do it just to be with someone bigger. In fact, I'm 100% positive that is what he would think. I've always felt that I might be bisexual. I'm fascinated with being with a woman, but I don't know how he'll react. Of course, it's every guys fantasy to have a threesome, but because of his self-consciousness, I don't think he'd be interested. I won't lie, being with someone bigger is also a curiosity of mine. He has a phobia (?) of someone bigger changing the way my vagina feels to him, so even if he were interested in swinging, I don't think he'd want me to be with another man.

I love him very much, but I feel like there are a lot of things I want to experience and I'm not getting any younger (I'm 36). I don't want to break up over it, because I'm very happy with him, but I'd also like to see what his thoughts are about it. How can I bring it up in a subtle, non-threatening way that might make him more interested?

Question 2:

My spouse and I are considering divorce. We love each other so much, but 15 years of marriage has left it's scars. We both have other partners, and breaking up with them, or closing our relationship at all is not on the table. These relationships are long standing, and breaking up would hurt multiple people and breed resentment. Besides, the openness of our relationship is not the issue. Do you have any advice for maintaining secondary relationships while the primary is in trouble? How to maintain boundaries when your whole life is up in the air?

Hope that's not too long! I love your podcast, and I especially love listening to it at work, where everyone thinks I'm a sweet normal and slightly boring office manager.

Question 3:

We are always taught to think of ourselves as being sexy but we won't look at ourselves and imagine ourselves as being sexy individuals. One of the problems that I've seen recently is you look at profiles or even advertise it for things even the desire takeover is we talked a get-together of sexy people or people say we are looking for other sexy couples.

The man that couples look it up and see that she is a BBW or I am a short chunky guy we no longer fit that is sexy category and both know hurts her feelings hurt our feelings.

Why is it that BBW it's almost turned into a niche versus just a description of an individual? It's almost like you're not an individual you're a BBW so you don't fit into this category and I've seen this very very bad in the swingers world.

So my question would be for you all is have you seen this how open are you to BBWs in your opinion of BBWs and how suggestion would you make to BBWs to get themselves more confident comfortable and energetic about the lifestyle itself?

Lunabelle mentioned her post, "I Like Big Toys and I Cannot Lie".

Ginger mentioned the Unfuckwithable video.

Dylan mentioned Elle Chase's book, Curvy Girl Sex .

Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Episoder(431)

SS 260: Double Penetration and Other Varsity Sexual Moves

SS 260: Double Penetration and Other Varsity Sexual Moves

There are few acts in the pantheon of sexuality that carry with them so much intrigue, coveting, and fear, as double penetration, and its more advanced siblings double vaginal and double anal. For one thing, these really can't be done in a monogamous relationship. Oh sure, we can use dildos and such things, but that's not really where the intrigue lies, does it? We discuss double penetration or "DP" in its many forms and talk other varsity level sexual moves. Thank you to SheVibe for always being awesome, and to SexyLosers for "schlick". Help us out Swingset Fans! While we absolutely would love you to buy a shirt, buying condoms, or to support us by throwing us a dollar or two every time we release an episode, there are ways you can support us at no cost to you! Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN We have FIFTEEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's podcast featured music by: Candyland & Ricci - Touch Me Favright - Iceladen Tristam - My Friend Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

15 Sep 20161h 11min

SS 259: Polyamorous as a Person of Color, with Mike Joseph

SS 259: Polyamorous as a Person of Color, with Mike Joseph

While we're pretty good on the Swingset at talking about our experiences in polyamory and swinging, We have limits to our shared experience, so we reached out and asked Mike Joseph to join the Swingset and speak to us about his experience navigating dating and polyamory as a person of color. We discussed some of the challenges dating couples, Dylan called the question: "Why should we have to convince people that doing the right thing will improve their lives, when they should just do the right thing?" regarding diversity. We asked about, and Mike spoke about the advantages and challenges of being unique and out as queer person of color in multiple communities. Also, Mark Zuckerberg should give us money, give us all money. You can find Mike Joseph on twitter @realmikejoseph, at his website PopBlerd.com, and on the Blerd Radio podcast! Help us out Swingset Fans! While we absolutely would love you to buy a shirt, buying condoms, or to support us by throwing us a dollar or two every time we release an episode, there are ways you can support us at no cost to you! Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN We have FIFTEEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's podcast featured music by: Au5 - Follow You (feat. Danyka Nadeau) (Volant Remix) Favright - Iceladen Hellberg & Aaron Richards - Synchronize (VIP Mix - Acoustic) Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

7 Sep 20161h 19min

SS 258: Gang Bang The Mailbag 29 - Post-Pregnancy Swinging, Grower vs. Shower

SS 258: Gang Bang The Mailbag 29 - Post-Pregnancy Swinging, Grower vs. Shower

Ginger takes the cords of the mailbag and sits down with Dylan and a LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE as they answer listener questions for the 29th Gang Bang the Mailbag! The Swinger Doc also sits down for another edition of the Medical Mailbag! In this mailbag he answers a listener question on risks associated with hot tub sex! Questions in this Gang Bang the Mailbag include: My husband and I opened our relationship about a year ago, and have both developed deep connections with other partners but haven't dipped our toes into the swinging side of things. I now have a few fun potential opportunities on the horizon to do just that. Here's the thing. I'm positive for HSV-1, and I'm one of the lucky ones who acquired it genitally. I'm responsible, educated, and up-front, but I'm feeling very anxious about it in the context of these more casual opportunities. I've already dealt with slut-shaming and with ignorant and poisonous reactions to my status. Would I even be allowed to participate at something like a play party, an orgy, or Desire? If so, what are the expectations and etiquette? So, I have an average cock. I mean around the 50th percentile both erect and flaccid. That also makes me a grower, not a show-er. I should be OK with that. But I'm not. Hard for this sex-positive guy to admit I'm troubled by this. I really enjoy going nude in public - at appropriate places, of course. However, I have observed without fail, I'm the absolute smallest I see. I went to a clothing optional resort this weekend to work on my tan and wherever I looked EVERYONE was hung better than me - and most by a huge (pun intended) amount. The little guy tends to "turtle" and this does not help my confidence. Is it that swinger and nudist men tend to be on the larger side by self-selection? Are we of more modest endowment simply ashamed and less inclined to participate in those activities? I enjoy swinging and have never been (knowingly) penis shamed by others. I still can't keep the penis envy in the box. Let's hear about your experiences and observations along with some words of wisdom to us "nominally-endowed" and "turtling-inclined" men. My wife and I are in contact with another couple through the 3nder (now Feeld) app and are considering setting up a date with them. We have been having some great group conversations via text and have become more and more interested in them. The other night the couple nonchalantly mentioned that they have a newborn. Only 4 weeks old! Needless to say, we didn't see this coming. Their profile suggests that they are into most any type of play. The elephant in the room is what condition is her body in for play?? They specifically joined the app to find her a girl to play with but are also interested in couples they say. We are assuming she is producing milk and probably still healing from the birth. How can we be respectful in asking these questions and keep her from being self conscious? What other questions should we ask in this situation? Any advice from you "seasoned" swingers? :) My partner and I are new to swinging and having, for the most part, a grand time. But, there is one trend we've noticed that we're interested in some clarification over: people having loud conversations about boring stuff in the play areas of sex clubs. My girlfriend (a petite, curvy 5'3" roller derby girl who I'm pretty sure is the "shawty" in all the songs and quite possibly the inspiration for "Baby Got Back") and I are exhibitionists and will be going at it and suddenly, I kid you not, a couple will come in, sit nearby, and start talking about work, traffic, doctor's appointments, blah blah blah, REALLY LOUD, thus annihilating our boners. The people doing this seem like they're old hats at swinging, so we've got to know: is this a thing? What's going on? Is it acceptable to tell them to shut the hell up even though we're in a more public area, or are long time swingers just jaded with sex and loud boring chats two feet from people who are athletically fucking just a part of the scene? My husband and I have been dabbling in the lifestyle for about 2 years now but our experiences have been very limited so we are definitely still newbies. We would love to explore more and go to more events and stuff but it is difficult. We have 2 young children and live in a very rural area. Swinging parties that we've come across take place later in the evening and usually an hour plus drive for us. This then requires an overnight sitter. Did we come into this lifestyle at a bad time? Seems others that have children usually have older children so they have flexibility in going out that we do not. It gets very frustrating but honestly not sure there is much to be done about it. Any tips or thoughts? Should we just give up on this whole swinger thing for now? Help us out Swingset Fans! While we absolutely would love you to buy a shirt, buying condoms, or to support us by throwing us a dollar or two every time we release an episode, there are ways you can support us at no cost to you! Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN We have FIFTEEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's podcast featured music by: Tokyo Machine - OKAY Marshmello - Alone (Streex Remake) Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

31 Aug 20161h 3min

On The Wet Coast - Mental Illness

On The Wet Coast - Mental Illness

On this episode we'll be discussing mental illness in non-monogamy with special guest Cooper S Beckett from Life On The Swingset podcast and www.coopersbeckett.com Those of us in non-monogamous circles spend a unique amount of time relating with others in a very intimate manner. When we let go of the standard social narrative of one partner only and admit our desire for intimacy with multiple others, we often let go of many of the other social façades in place and talk more honestly and intimately about other issues in our lives. Issues such as mental illness. Before we start, we'd like to say that none of us are mental health professionals or experts and are merely discussing our personal experiences and observations on the subject. If you are in crisis and need help, please seek resources in your local area. Canada http://www.cmha.ca/mental-health/ http://suicideprevention.ca/thinking-about-suicide/find-a-crisis-centre/ You can also call 911 for help USA http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help/index.shtml http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/ Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea  Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere  Promo music - Latin Rhythm by Sunsearcher

24 Aug 20161h 3min

SS 257: On Breasts and Attraction

SS 257: On Breasts and Attraction

Cooper gets the night off as Ginger makes herself available to Dylan to discuss his attraction to breasts, and his fear that they are the focus of too much attention and energy. The Swinger Doc sits down for another edition of the Medical Mailbag! In this mailbag he answers a listener question on how to find high quality sex positive and nonmonogamy friendly medical care. Help us out Swingset Fans! While we absolutely would love you to buy a shirt, buying condoms, or to support us by throwing us a dollar or two every time we release an episode, there are ways you can support us at no cost to you! Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you We have FIFTEEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's podcast featured music from Candyland & Shoffy titled: Faces. Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

17 Aug 20161h 16min

SS 256: Smoothing Re-Entry, When Our Partners Date or Play Without Us

SS 256: Smoothing Re-Entry, When Our Partners Date or Play Without Us

All three of us here on the Swingset have occasionally dated and played independent of our partners, and all three of our partners have dated and played independent of us. A moment that can be tricky, especially early on in the swinging or poly lifestyles, is that moment of re-entry, where our partner (or us) returns from a date or play session. We take time to dissect how re-entry feels when you're the partner "left behind", and when you're the partner on the go. Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again. Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more! You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's podcast featured music from the Haywyre album: Two Fold Pt. 1: Doppelgänger, and Voice of Reason. Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

4 Aug 20161h 12min

SS 255: People of Color in Kink Communities

SS 255: People of Color in Kink Communities

We've talked a lot of bout community lately on the Swingset, and while we've specifically made the point that it's not enough to talk about diversity but to take action to seek it out, we've done a poor job of acknowledging that diversity includes diversity of racial background and we've contributed to a deafening silence around people of color in our communities. We invited Ms Pomegranate and Mr BLK, two Baltimore, MD kink and sex educators, to join us to specifically discuss kink communities and and to discuss the experience of people of color in kink communities. Together, we hit what it can mean to feel ignored or erased when attempting to integrate into a community. We acknowledged that people of color have an extra threshold of acceptance. We discussed what makes communities safe, and what we can do to reach out and make communities feel safer to people of color and as a result, everyone. We discuss people who exploit safe spaces, and discuss what happens when an entire group takes a negative stereotype on behalf of a single bad actor. We touch on racial fetishes, assumptions surrounding them, and how without consent, racial fetishes dehumanize their targets, and how people can switch from fetish to racism as soon as they don't get what they're looking for. If you're attending Woodhull's Sexual Freedom Summit on August 6th, Mr BLK and Ms Pomegranate are presenting on Different Shades of Kink: Questions of Diversity in Sex Positive Lifestyles (#SFSShades) and giving rope demos throughout! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.You can find the self-described wonder twins Ms Pomegranate and Mr BLK on twitter @BlkPomegranate and on their website www.theblackpomegranate.com. Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again. Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more! You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's podcast featured music from Haywyre: Sculpted, from the Two Fold Pt. 1 Album, and from Stephen Walking: Claptrap, and from Noisestorm: This Feeling. Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

27 Jul 20161h 8min

SS 254: The Pursuit of Playmates & Lovers in Swinging & Polyamory

SS 254: The Pursuit of Playmates & Lovers in Swinging & Polyamory

How do you find other swingers? How do you find people to date? Those top a list of frequent questions we get on the Swingset. As outsiders looking in, as people curious to get started, we all wonder if we'll be able to do this, because there's that foreign concept in the middle. Finding people to fuck. Finding people to date. Finding people not just okay with open, but enthusiastic about it. Tonight, we talk about the pursuit, finding playmates, finding lovers. We recorded this podcast LIVE in front of our audience of patrons. We're trying something new, if you have comments on the audio quality please send that feedback to dylan@lifeontheswingset.com, whether it is "still excellent!" or "wholly inadequate"! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again. Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more! You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's podcast featured music from Rogue, titled Imperfect Views, and from Botnek and I See MONSTAS titled Deeper Love, remixed by Xan Griffin. Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

14 Jul 20161h 8min

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