SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

Tonight the Swingset opens the mailbag... but does so carefully, as it's -20F outside. Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Bex Caputo, and Lunabelle answer your listener questions!

Question 1:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We have amazing sex, but I can't seem to get satisfied sexually. We have sex/oral sex at least twice a day, but it seems like the more I orgasm, the more I crave it. He's slightly below average size, and I don't have any problems with his size because he knows what to do with it, but he's very self-conscious about his size. I'd love to bring up the topic of polyamory to him, but I'm afraid he'll feel like I want to do it just to be with someone bigger. In fact, I'm 100% positive that is what he would think. I've always felt that I might be bisexual. I'm fascinated with being with a woman, but I don't know how he'll react. Of course, it's every guys fantasy to have a threesome, but because of his self-consciousness, I don't think he'd be interested. I won't lie, being with someone bigger is also a curiosity of mine. He has a phobia (?) of someone bigger changing the way my vagina feels to him, so even if he were interested in swinging, I don't think he'd want me to be with another man.

I love him very much, but I feel like there are a lot of things I want to experience and I'm not getting any younger (I'm 36). I don't want to break up over it, because I'm very happy with him, but I'd also like to see what his thoughts are about it. How can I bring it up in a subtle, non-threatening way that might make him more interested?

Question 2:

My spouse and I are considering divorce. We love each other so much, but 15 years of marriage has left it's scars. We both have other partners, and breaking up with them, or closing our relationship at all is not on the table. These relationships are long standing, and breaking up would hurt multiple people and breed resentment. Besides, the openness of our relationship is not the issue. Do you have any advice for maintaining secondary relationships while the primary is in trouble? How to maintain boundaries when your whole life is up in the air?

Hope that's not too long! I love your podcast, and I especially love listening to it at work, where everyone thinks I'm a sweet normal and slightly boring office manager.

Question 3:

We are always taught to think of ourselves as being sexy but we won't look at ourselves and imagine ourselves as being sexy individuals. One of the problems that I've seen recently is you look at profiles or even advertise it for things even the desire takeover is we talked a get-together of sexy people or people say we are looking for other sexy couples.

The man that couples look it up and see that she is a BBW or I am a short chunky guy we no longer fit that is sexy category and both know hurts her feelings hurt our feelings.

Why is it that BBW it's almost turned into a niche versus just a description of an individual? It's almost like you're not an individual you're a BBW so you don't fit into this category and I've seen this very very bad in the swingers world.

So my question would be for you all is have you seen this how open are you to BBWs in your opinion of BBWs and how suggestion would you make to BBWs to get themselves more confident comfortable and energetic about the lifestyle itself?

Lunabelle mentioned her post, "I Like Big Toys and I Cannot Lie".

Ginger mentioned the Unfuckwithable video.

Dylan mentioned Elle Chase's book, Curvy Girl Sex .

Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Episoder(431)

SS 224: The Genital Spectacle II - Our Bodies, Our Selves, Our Bits

SS 224: The Genital Spectacle II - Our Bodies, Our Selves, Our Bits

Our discussion of genitals, both our own and those belonging to other people, simply could not be contained by a single episode, so we return to the subject again, this time discussing labiaplasty, penis enlargement, being happy with your genitals as they are, body hair, shaving, and performance issues (ie, am I hard enough, am I wet enough?) Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by leaving us a tip! You can leave us a tip for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to tip us just a little more! Today, Life on the Swingset's outro featured Protostar & Draper - Chrysalis. Buy Cooper's book My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at MyLotSS.com Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Comments? Complaints? Head over to Reddit.com/r/SwingsetFM and let us know what you think!

23 Sep 20151h 37min

SS 223: The Genital Spectacle - Learning to Like Our Bits

SS 223: The Genital Spectacle - Learning to Like Our Bits

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} Whether you had to find a mirror to see yours or you could just look down and not miss it, we've all had first encounters with our bits, you know, our genitals. In a culture that espouses a specific body ideal, we can't escape wondering if even our most private parts hold up by comparison. Bodies are amazing because of diversity not despite it. In this episode, Cooper, Ginger, Dylan and Katie Mack discuss how body positivity wins the day. Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} To SheVibe: Thank you! Your magazine cover is … without too much hyperbole… possibly the greatest thing that has ever happened. It’s amazing and we will show our appreciation at every opportunity. We dedicate this episode to you. We discuss a couple email responses to the following letters (warning: politics ahead): Cooper... Cooper... Cooper... I'm disappointed. I listen to your podcast regularly and am a fan. But as a Kinkster/swinger/conservative I have to say I was saddened by your recent spewing of vitriol towards anyone who doesn't believe as you believe. For background.... I am a straight, polyamorous, loving dominant male. I was raised with 4 sisters by parents that instilled common courtesy and respect. From the day I started studying about alternative lifestyles, I was repeatedly reminded that "My kink is not your kink". I understood that as a clear directive to not be derisive towards another's proclivities. As long as it was safe sane and consensual, more power to them. I may not know all the intricacies of their dynamic and it wasn't my job to pass judgement. I had hoped for the same kind of inclusion and acceptance from your podcast. Your dismissive attitude towards Christians and republicans was quite disconcerting. Your right to be an Atheist does not preclude another from believing in the "fairy tales" they hold dear. Your right to vote based on a woman's choice of what to do with their body does not preclude another from believing that bigger government will NOT ensure the rights of the individual are protected and/or provided for. With the history of Conrail, the Postal Service and Veterans Hospitals as examples, I'm more convinced than ever that the answer lies in the community rather than a larger ineffective centralized governments control. I'm sure you don't want to hear my political leanings any more than I want to hear about your epic prostate orgasm. That being said, I would never denigrate you for your kink or political affiliations. And to Dylan: Just finished LotSS 220, and I wanted to write in with a comment on Dylan's suggestion for a family-friendly sexy vacation destination. While he's anxiously waiting for Disney Cruise Lines to launch their Multi-Tier Mascot Mediterranean Fuckboat, his suggestion of a build-your-own vacation is workable, with one caveat; expecting a gathering of children to make it through the night without finding -something- they think they need an adult for, especially when it's super important that they stay away, is utter folly, no matter how much you pay the kids who are ostensibly in charge. But this is a problem that can be solved by logistics. If you know you have N couples with children who would be up for a sexy vacation (I am assuming you are on the board of the Homeowners Association to have access to that sort of info) you book your hotel rooms for at least N nights. Each couple then volunteers to watch the kids during one evening while the rest of the party congregates at a room at an entirely different hotel for sexy times. That way, every adult gets at least N-1 opportunities to participate, the kids get N awesome sleepover-like parties, and nobody has to leave their kids under the care of someone they don't trust enough to show their junk to. Remember, it takes a village to raise an orgy.

14 Sep 20151h 4min

SS 222: Gang Bang the MailBag 24 – Shy Male Swingers, Just Starting, Couples' Jealousy, Online Frustration, Christian Swingers

SS 222: Gang Bang the MailBag 24 – Shy Male Swingers, Just Starting, Couples' Jealousy, Online Frustration, Christian Swingers

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} Swingset does as Chicago does with a 3-peat dip into the mailbag! We discuss discuss shy male swingers, just starting out in the lifestyle, couples’ jealousy, frustration with people who don’t read online profiles in their entirety, and Christian swingers! As always questions are edited for time and cohesion. If you have a question for an upcoming mailbag show, please leave us a voicemail at 573-557-9464. Warning: Dylan tells TWO stories, and neither are particularly sexy but both are fairly gripping! Question 1: I'm hoping for some words of wisdom for a guy in the lifestyle who struggles to be appropriately assertive. While single I was one of those guys who needed flares, sirens, and flashing lights to know a woman was interested in me, and even then I was often hesitant. I'm now happily coupled and in the lifestyle, but no better at hitting on women or initiating any touching. Part of my hang-up is the nausea induced by certain sleazy guys who "accidentally" rub against people in crowds or greet everyone with a grope. But a balance between assault and friendly passivity can't be that hard to find, right? This has created some tension with my better half, because she feels as if she has to do more of the work when we're in sexy circumstances, and it makes it harder for me to enjoy lifestyle events. Question 2: My wife and I have a wonderful marriage, awesome communication and an even better sex life. We're entertaining a soft swap, FMF interaction. We want to make an informed decision together before fully trying swinging. What can you suggest tips, advice, information wise? And what's the next step if we wanted to go through with it? Dylan Thomas’ note: By the way, our wonderful “Swinging for Beginners” series has quite a bit of content that can help! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/category/swinging-for-beginners for nine episodes where we focus entirely on the “new to the lifestyle” experience! Question 3: We were doing a lot of lifestyle events and really never met anyone that tripped both of our triggers until we met this one couple. We became very close, sharing each other and attending sexy events but staying faithful to each other as couples until recently. They attended an event and hooked up with a group of people, didn't invite us and now we are struggling with the relationship. Sort of had our hearts broken. We never had any kind of agreement to stay with each other so we can't fault them. Wondering if you have any advice? Question 4: We're busy and don't play with other couples (we prefer threesomes and orgies). That doesn't mean we don't want to meet sexy new friends, just that we'd rather do it in larger settings. We also get a fair amount of attention on the swinger dating sites -- almost always from couples who want to meet up. (Our profile is clear that we don't play with couples, but it's obvious that some people only look at pictures.) Responding with something like, "we're not available to meet, but we'll be at a meet and greet so please come and say hello!" has always been met with silence. Are we doing something wrong? Is there a better way to say what we're looking for? Question 5: We are Christians and go to church on Sunday. Are there a lot of Christian swingers? I'm afraid it will feel a little weird going to a club and having some fun then going to church a few days later.

8 Sep 20151h 19min

SS 221: Gang Bang the Mailbag 23 - Ejaculation, Trust in Swinging, Former Swingers & Sex Club Consent

SS 221: Gang Bang the Mailbag 23 - Ejaculation, Trust in Swinging, Former Swingers & Sex Club Consent

Welcome back to the Life on the Swingset mailbag where we're reading listener questions! As always questions are edited for time and cohesion unlike this podcast. If you have a question for an upcoming mailbag show, please leave us a voicemail at 573-557-9464 or send us an email at contact@lifeontheswingset.com. Tonight we discuss partnering with a former swinger as a monogamous couple, holding out on ejaculation, coming out as an atheist, and trusting each other in the lifestyle.   We also review the Fleshjack Go, we run a giveaway for Cinekink Chicago, and run a giveaway for free audible copy of My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging and Polyamory, but you have to listen to find out how to win! Today, Life on the Swingset's outro and voicemail featured Protostar & Draper - Chrysalis. Buy Cooper's book My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at MyLotSS.com Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Comments? Complaints? Head over to Reddit.com/r/SwingsetFM and let us know what you think!

31 Aug 20151h 14min

SS 220: Gang Bang the Mailbag 22

SS 220: Gang Bang the Mailbag 22

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12 Aug 20151h 38min

SS 219: Sex Drive - Baby You Can Drive My Swinging & Poly Lifestyle

SS 219: Sex Drive - Baby You Can Drive My Swinging & Poly Lifestyle

Everybody's sex drive is different, and it's likely that everybody who has ever had a sex drive has had assumptions made about it. Swingers, polyamorists, and other non-mono practicioners have had loads of assumptions made about their sex drive. So tonight on Life on the Swingset, the Podcast we're going to discuss those assumptions, and how the concept of sex drive is often seen through gendered and socio economic lenses.  Buy Cooper's book My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at MyLotSS.com Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Comments? Complaints? Head over to Reddit.com/r/SwingsetFM and let us know what you think!

3 Aug 20151h 23min

SS 218: White Rocks & Black Rings - Swinger History & Folklore with Dr. Jeana Jorgensen

SS 218: White Rocks & Black Rings - Swinger History & Folklore with Dr. Jeana Jorgensen

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27 Jul 20151h 13min

SS 217: What About Poly Marriage? - Does Marriage Equality Extend to Polyamory

SS 217: What About Poly Marriage? - Does Marriage Equality Extend to Polyamory

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} Recently, our own United States of America had a watershed moment. An injustice so deeply ingrained into what we've called society, what we've called family, what we've called "real and respectable” with one fell swoop, became righted as a matter of not just public policy, but as law. The Supreme Court's decision on Obergefell v. Hodges granted marriage equality for all persons, and while the rest of the country's legal structure catches up to the new reality, we're seeing a vocal minority of polyamorous people... and a surprising amount of popular media address the possibility of multiple partner marriage… Poly marriage. We welcome Cunning Minx back to the Swingset, where she and Dylan step on their soap boxes and bring up Justice Roberts’ dissent’s thoughts on a plural marriage slippery slope, Justice Kennedy’s majority opinion based on fundamental rights instead of the expected equal protection. We discuss what marriage is anyway and what it represents between us as people, us as the government, and us and our beliefs. We look at where polyamorous groupings and families are vulnerable and what marriage, or a set of contracts granting protection, or possibly an incorporation would do to protect them. Also… we discuss why we’re in the “Reefer Madness” stage of the general public recognizing what polyamory is. Some articles that might interest you since they informed our discussion (for better or worse… THANKS MEDIA): http://thefederalist.com/2015/07/06/polyamory-is-bad-for-kids-polyamorists-and-society/#disqus_thread http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/07/case-against-polygamy/397823/?utm_source=SFFB http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2015/07/10/heres-why-people-are-arguing-over-whether-polygamy-is-the-next-gay-marriage-debate/ http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2015/06/is_polygamy_next_after_gay_marriage_chief_justice_roberts_obergefell_dissent.html

20 Jul 20151h 8min

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