SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

Tonight the Swingset opens the mailbag... but does so carefully, as it's -20F outside. Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Bex Caputo, and Lunabelle answer your listener questions!

Question 1:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We have amazing sex, but I can't seem to get satisfied sexually. We have sex/oral sex at least twice a day, but it seems like the more I orgasm, the more I crave it. He's slightly below average size, and I don't have any problems with his size because he knows what to do with it, but he's very self-conscious about his size. I'd love to bring up the topic of polyamory to him, but I'm afraid he'll feel like I want to do it just to be with someone bigger. In fact, I'm 100% positive that is what he would think. I've always felt that I might be bisexual. I'm fascinated with being with a woman, but I don't know how he'll react. Of course, it's every guys fantasy to have a threesome, but because of his self-consciousness, I don't think he'd be interested. I won't lie, being with someone bigger is also a curiosity of mine. He has a phobia (?) of someone bigger changing the way my vagina feels to him, so even if he were interested in swinging, I don't think he'd want me to be with another man.

I love him very much, but I feel like there are a lot of things I want to experience and I'm not getting any younger (I'm 36). I don't want to break up over it, because I'm very happy with him, but I'd also like to see what his thoughts are about it. How can I bring it up in a subtle, non-threatening way that might make him more interested?

Question 2:

My spouse and I are considering divorce. We love each other so much, but 15 years of marriage has left it's scars. We both have other partners, and breaking up with them, or closing our relationship at all is not on the table. These relationships are long standing, and breaking up would hurt multiple people and breed resentment. Besides, the openness of our relationship is not the issue. Do you have any advice for maintaining secondary relationships while the primary is in trouble? How to maintain boundaries when your whole life is up in the air?

Hope that's not too long! I love your podcast, and I especially love listening to it at work, where everyone thinks I'm a sweet normal and slightly boring office manager.

Question 3:

We are always taught to think of ourselves as being sexy but we won't look at ourselves and imagine ourselves as being sexy individuals. One of the problems that I've seen recently is you look at profiles or even advertise it for things even the desire takeover is we talked a get-together of sexy people or people say we are looking for other sexy couples.

The man that couples look it up and see that she is a BBW or I am a short chunky guy we no longer fit that is sexy category and both know hurts her feelings hurt our feelings.

Why is it that BBW it's almost turned into a niche versus just a description of an individual? It's almost like you're not an individual you're a BBW so you don't fit into this category and I've seen this very very bad in the swingers world.

So my question would be for you all is have you seen this how open are you to BBWs in your opinion of BBWs and how suggestion would you make to BBWs to get themselves more confident comfortable and energetic about the lifestyle itself?

Lunabelle mentioned her post, "I Like Big Toys and I Cannot Lie".

Ginger mentioned the Unfuckwithable video.

Dylan mentioned Elle Chase's book, Curvy Girl Sex .

Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Episoder(431)

SS 059: Swinging For Dummies I - Realizing You're Non-Monogamous

SS 059: Swinging For Dummies I - Realizing You're Non-Monogamous

We go back to basics in the first of our Swinging For Dummies episodes. But first, returning friend The Professor tells us about Ginger's panty-less New Years Eve celebration. We talk about the moment when we realized we were non-monogamous and how we dealt with that paradigm shift, how it impacted our perception of ourselves, and where we take that. We talk about cheating and deception while trying to be monogamous. We discuss the impact of monogamy on bisexuality, the complexity of polyamory, and how to begin.

9 Jan 20121h

SS 058: Bareback or Condoms: A Bad Swinger Sex Party

SS 058: Bareback or Condoms: A Bad Swinger Sex Party

After a spirited reading of the suggested uses for the Hitachi Magic Wand, Cooper claims to be the Steward of Gondor, and Dylan and Cooper describe their swing party that went bad.

31 Des 20111h 29min

SS 057: 12 Vibrating Yule Logs - Sex Toys, & The Smitten Kitten

SS 057: 12 Vibrating Yule Logs - Sex Toys, & The Smitten Kitten

18 Des 20111h 5min

SS 056: A Voicemail Gang-Bang - Anal Sex Play, Penis Size, & Pregnant Swingers

SS 056: A Voicemail Gang-Bang - Anal Sex Play, Penis Size, & Pregnant Swingers

After Cooper talks about kissing a boy for the first time, the crew answers voicemails about dealing with penis size concerns while swinging, anal sex play for bi males, reactions to pregnant swingers in a party situation, and our biggest surprises in our time as non-monogamous folk.

12 Des 201150min

SS 055: The Non-Monogamy Umbrella II - Swingers, Open Relationships, & Polyamory, 2gether 4 Eva

SS 055: The Non-Monogamy Umbrella II - Swingers, Open Relationships, & Polyamory, 2gether 4 Eva

We continue our discussion with poly activist and organizer Pepper Mint, but first Cooper and Dylan blow a "fight" over the word queer out of proportion. We discuss eroticizing jealousy, Ginger gets hot over the idea of "straddling the line," Pepper discusses polyamory and gay men. Cooper becomes militant about coming out and rails against the forces of "old and evil." And of course, we all get silly many times.

5 Des 20111h 14min

SS 054: The Non-Monogamy Umbrella I - Can't Swingers And Polyamorists Get Along?

SS 054: The Non-Monogamy Umbrella I - Can't Swingers And Polyamorists Get Along?

Pepper Mint, polyamory blogger, activist, & organizer joins us for a dialog on why the swinging and polyamory camps still have trouble getting along. We rant about a swing club that has been shut down by the authorities. Cooper doesn't want to "put baby in the corner" but finds it easy to shuffle Shira off to the poly side, but even she is shocked by the discussion of poly sex parties. Dylan is horrified to find that sometimes people want to move in after a month; and Ginger confesses her origin story involving Pepper.

26 Nov 201158min

SS 053: Naked In Paradise II - The Swingset Takes Desire Resort & Spa

SS 053: Naked In Paradise II - The Swingset Takes Desire Resort & Spa

We continue our chat with Jim & Char of CharTravel about lifestyle vacations, focusing more on Desire as a whole as Shira asks a number of nitty gritty questions about passports, cost, and the nudity policy. Cooper rants about the foolishness of booking flights with Travelocity. Ginger gets lost in her own little world of Desire fantasies. We discuss food, alcohol, excursions and other things to do at Desire Resort & Spa

10 Nov 201157min

SS 052: Naked In Paradise I - Sexy Vacations and Desire Resort & Spa

SS 052: Naked In Paradise I - Sexy Vacations and Desire Resort & Spa

Have your vacations lately seemed a bit too dull or full of minors? Well tonight we're talking about vacationing the sexy way and taking a lifestyle trip. We discuss the ins and outs of going on a lifestyle or nude vacation at any level of the sexually open lifestyle, about etiquitte, and how to protect yourself and your relationship. We also thoroughly discuss Desire Resort & Spa and our upcoming trip to this fabulous spot in Cancun, Mexico in November 2012.

5 Nov 201152min

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