Valley of the Dolls - Rosemary’s Doute (The Valley S3E1)

Lara and Carey return to the San Fernando to burn in the blinding light of Brittany’s sparkle, but first they discuss 2026’s (paltry) answer to Scandoval: Amanda and West’s shuncking affair. They enlist one Dorothy O’Donnell to weigh in on the drama and then discuss what Ciara’s next steps should be, America holding Amanda Batula more accountable than the people in the Epstein files, and why Kyle deserves no grace.

Then on the season premiere of ‘The Valley,’ our favorite residents of Hetero Hell check in for another round, this time without Jax. Brittany continues to get her sparkle back with a new rebound man and entering a place of sitcom character psychosis. Mother Doute enters her own post-pregnancy malaise as Luke laments their lack of intimacy as his plans for a future militia are put on hold. Michelle and Jesse continue their non-divorce psychosexual cat and mouse game; Jasmine and her fiancée plan their wedding and Rindom Janet reels from being yelled at by Doute with a baby on her hip. Zack catches up with Tilapia Schwartz who’s in a true Backrooms-style maze of flop as Lala wonders if Luke was her sperm donor. Danny and Nia’s Santa Clarita Horror is complete as they plan for Nia’s co-Sip and See for baby #4 and Doute’s baby Kaia. Any baby-serene at the party is squashed by the arrival of Jesse’s OC girlfriend Lacy, who confronts Michelle with California cheer and barely contained menace. We are so back.

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