Ep. 284 – devon and nico hase

For episode 284, devon and nico hase return to the Metta Hour to speak with Sharon about their new book, This Messy, Gorgeous Love: A Buddhist Guide to Lasting Partnership.

devon and nico serve as guiding teachers of the online dharma community Refuge of Belonging. They teach at the Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock, and other centers, offer online and in-person retreats, and speak with students in one-on-one sessions. Their first book How Not to Be a Hot Mess, came out in 2020 and their 2026 release, This Messy, Gorgeous Love, is now available in paperback and audiobook formats. This is devon and nico’s second appearance on the Metta Hour.

In this conversation, devon, nico and Sharon speak about:

The motivation for the new book
After the “happily ever after”
Approaching relationship as practice
The healing of deep listening
Common myths of relationships
Buddhist personality types
Dukkha (suffering) in a relationship
Impermanence informing connection
Forgiveness practice
Different conflict styles
Learning how to repair after rupture
Making room for play and joy
Supporting each other’s joy
devon & nico's three-year retreat

This episode closes with a guided appreciation practice led by devon. Learn more about devon and nico’s new book, This Messy, Gorgeous Love, and other offerings by visiting their website right here.

Join Nico and Sharon virtually on May 9th, 2026 for a daylong teaching The Fire That Sustains.

You can hear devon and nico’s first appearance on Ep. 142 of the Metta Hour Podcast.

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