Episode 158 - When Speaking Up Changes Your Life with Jessica Carlson

Episode 158 - When Speaking Up Changes Your Life with Jessica Carlson

If you’ve been curious about what it looks like to say what you need to say in practice, today you’ll hear from someone who found her outside voice and is using it to create the life she wants. Jessica Carlson has spent years serving others—as a pastor’s wife, a mom, a teacher, and now supporting college students in getting the resources they need. Jessica and I first connected over our shared background in high-demand religion, and since we began working together, I’ve watched her life transform. She learned to speak up messily and imperfectly, and to support herself through hard conversations that once felt impossible. Jessica’s journey is a powerful example of how everything can shift when women use their voices, not just for themselves, but for the kind of change they want to see in the world. Here’s what we cover:


  • What Jessica’s life looked like when she first joined the Stop People Pleasing group
  • The power that comes from realizing you get to choose the kind of discomfort you feel in relationships
  • Why the goal isn’t always to say no, but to understand you have that option when you need it
  • How a simple step-by-step process helps you find the right words and practice speaking up
  • Jessica’s journey of running for public office and the changes she has made by working on this skill


Jessica Carlson is a university career coach and former high school teacher. She lives in the midwest with her husband of 23 years and 2 children, both in college. She has a bachelor’s in English and secondary education and a master’s in education. She was raised in a fundamentalist high-demand religious context and then married a Christian pastor through which church experiences compounded the people pleasing she learned at an early age. At her core, she serves people but that service as a wife, mom, teacher, and community member caused her to lose herself. Jessica is a reflective thinker and someone who cares deeply about connection and meaning but has only recently realized that her voice matters and that it is powerful and she can impact systems. She is especially drawn to conversations about how we unlearn the pressure to be everything for everyone, and what it looks like to choose ourselves, sometimes for the first time.


Find Jessica here:

instagram.com/jess_c7072

tiktok.com/@queenbee7072


Find Sara here:

sarafisk.coach

pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

instagram.com/sarafiskcoach

facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching

tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

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Episoder(182)

Episode 173 - The Motivational Triad: Why Avoiding the Hard Conversation Feels So Good

Episode 173 - The Motivational Triad: Why Avoiding the Hard Conversation Feels So Good

Is there a difficult conversation you know you need to have but keep putting off? You may have noticed that every time you decide to wait, you feel a little better even though you’re avoiding somethin...

19 Aug 30min

Episode 172 - Are Your Thoughts Keeping You Stuck?

Episode 172 - Are Your Thoughts Keeping You Stuck?

How often do you have thoughts like, "I hate doing this," "I'm bad at this," or "What's the point?" and brush them aside? We often push through our days without stopping to question the stories runnin...

29 Jul 22min

Episode 171 - The Small People-Pleasing Behaviors That Add Up

Episode 171 - The Small People-Pleasing Behaviors That Add Up

Most women are familiar with what people-pleasing looks like. You say yes when you mean no, avoid conflict, or never ask for what you need. But some of the most exhausting people-pleasing doesn't happ...

22 Jul 21min

Episode 170 - The People-Pleasing Conversation I Had With My Teenager

Episode 170 - The People-Pleasing Conversation I Had With My Teenager

People-pleasing tendencies start much earlier in life than many of us realize, and there comes a point when children need to begin unlearning those behaviors so they don't carry them into adulthood. I...

15 Jul 19min

Episode 169 - What I’m Working On Right Now: What Will They Think of Me?

Episode 169 - What I’m Working On Right Now: What Will They Think of Me?

We all assume other people have it more figured out than we do. But beneath so many of our struggles is the same familiar good girl question: How am I going to be perceived? In this episode, I'm shari...

8 Jul 19min

Episode 168 - What is Your Silence Teaching Your Relationships?

Episode 168 - What is Your Silence Teaching Your Relationships?

We often think of relationships as something we have: a marriage, a friendship, a relationship with our parents. But relationships are more like living things—they have their own patterns and ecosyste...

1 Jul 17min

Episode 167 - The Skill That Improves Every Difficult Conversation

Episode 167 - The Skill That Improves Every Difficult Conversation

Most hard conversations don't start with an invitation. They start with something that sounds more like a verdict: You never listen to me. You don't respect my time. You don't care about my feelings. ...

24 Jun 26min

Episode 166 - There is No Time Limit to Talk About It

Episode 166 - There is No Time Limit to Talk About It

How often do you finally realize what you want to say hours, days, months, or even years after a misunderstanding or disagreement? Some people need time to process, but it's easy to think you've misse...

10 Jun 25min

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