Ep224: How Do You Visit a Rope Bar in Japan? - A conversation with Nuit de Tokyo, a European immersed in the Japanese rope scene

What does it really mean to step into a Japanese rope bar - and how do you do it without getting it wrong? In this episode, Mya and Fox speak with Nuit de Tokyo, whose engagement with Japanese rope spans more than three decades. His learning has come through formal training, deep cultural immersion, and proximity to source: watching over a thousand SM performances, performing publicly, and absorbing the unspoken knowledge that circulates in bars, backstage spaces, and long-standing communities. This is a conversation about time, continuity, and lineage - and what Western practitioners often miss. We explore: • Nuit de Tokyo’s journey from Paris to Tokyo via martial arts • Discovering SM and rope in the pre-internet era, through rare publications and bondage books • Key differences between European and Japanese rope scenes • What a Japanese rope bar actually is, and why bar culture matters in Tokyo • How rope bars work, event etiquette, and how to attend respectfully • The biggest cultural missteps Westerners make - and how to avoid them • How poetry, Confucian social structures, morality, and Japanese banquet culture inform modern shibari • Dispelling the persistent myth that shibari originates from Hojojutsu Insightful, grounded, and essential listening for anyone curious about rope culture beyond the surface. Nuit de Tokyo first traveled to Japan in 1989 and began collecting kinbaku books the following year, an archive that has since grown into the thousands. By the early 2000s, during a second extended stay, his Japanese language skills allowed him to move beyond observation and into lived experience within the Tokyo SM scene, where studio time, late nights, and long conversations became part of his education. His training is rooted in long-term study rather than brief encounters. A formative lesson with Akechi Kanna in 2005 marked a turning point, and when Kanna came out of retirement in 2010, NdT undertook several years of structured training across the full cursus under him. In parallel, he studied continuously for nine years with Yukimura Haruki, an extended apprenticeship that profoundly shaped his technical approach and his understanding of lineage, transmission, and responsibility within rope.