Why Self-Love Isn’t About ‘Bouncing Back’ or ‘Fixing’ Yourself"

Why Self-Love Isn’t About ‘Bouncing Back’ or ‘Fixing’ Yourself"

Transformation stories are everywhere—before-and-afters, glow-ups, success arcs. But what if real self-love isn’t about reinventing yourself—but about being present where you are, without pressure?

This episode unpacks how social media, self-help culture, and gendered resilience narratives push us toward self-optimization at the cost of self-acceptance. We explore the psychology of storytelling (McAdams, 2001), the feminist critique of the "bounce-backable woman" (Gill & Orgad, 2018), and why emotional smoothing shapes how we retell our past.

If you’re ready to stop waiting for the ‘perfect’ story and start sharing where you are, this one’s for you.

Connect with Leila online at www.leilaainge.co.uk and subscribe to her newsletter for psychological insights direct to your inbox. to sign up for the FREE Webinar, head to www.leilaainge.co.uk

Psychologically Speaking is produced by Buckers at Decibelle Creative / @decibelle_creative

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Episoder(71)

Could One Room Tell Your Story? | Reflection Room August Week 3

Could One Room Tell Your Story? | Reflection Room August Week 3

What if a room could become a self-portrait?This week in the Reflection Room, psychologist and researcher Leila Ainge pairs a painting by Lottie Cole with a simple but thought-provoking reflection abo...

17 Aug 4min

What Threshold Are You Standing On? | Reflection Room August Week 2

What Threshold Are You Standing On? | Reflection Room August Week 2

What happens when you've left one chapter behind but haven't quite arrived at the next?Inspired by Frances Featherstone's Dower House from her Threshold series, this Reflection Room episode explores t...

10 Aug 4min

Are You Leaving Yourself Out of Your Own Story? | Reflection Room August Week 1

Are You Leaving Yourself Out of Your Own Story? | Reflection Room August Week 1

What stories have you inherited about where you belong? This week's reflection uses art and psychology to help you revise your own narrative.Join psychologist and researcher Leila Ainge for the first ...

3 Aug 8min

Evidence Over Ego: Why Curiosity Leads to Better Decisions

Evidence Over Ego: Why Curiosity Leads to Better Decisions

How do we make better decisions when certainty is impossible?In this solo episode of Psychologically Speaking, psychologist and researcher Leila Ainge explores why confidence isn't about having all th...

29 Jul 12min

63. Build What the World Needs - Tif Bryant on innovation and risk.

63. Build What the World Needs - Tif Bryant on innovation and risk.

What if the biggest risk isn't failing—but standing still?In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, psychologist and researcher Leila Ainge is joined by entrepreneur, UK Innovator Founder visa hold...

22 Jul 58min

62. The Five-Figure Decision. The psychology of risk taking with Niki Hutchison and Leila Ainge

62. The Five-Figure Decision. The psychology of risk taking with Niki Hutchison and Leila Ainge

What does it really mean to invest in yourself?In this episode of Psychologically Speaking, Leila is joined by marketing strategist and entrepreneur Niki Hutchison, founder of Enjoy Marketing®. With m...

15 Jul 58min

60. The patriarchy has been squatting in my temple - Emma While

60. The patriarchy has been squatting in my temple - Emma While

What happens when body shame isn't actually about your body? This week I'm joined by coach and facilitator Emma While, who decided to evict what she calls "the patriarchy squatting in my temple" by ta...

8 Jul 1h 5min

61. She quit the job she'd worked years to get. - Louise Duncum

61. She quit the job she'd worked years to get. - Louise Duncum

Louise Duncum spent nearly a decade designing for major high street fashion brands before realising she'd become successful at something that no longer felt like her.In this episode we talk about leav...

8 Jul 1h 6min

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