Hummusmaxxing

We return from what may or may not have been a long break. Honestly, we recorded some episodes out of order, so nobody really knows where we are in the timeline anymore. Before figuring out our own lore, we have some bad news: The Spleen is in the hospital after crashing an Uber at three times the speed limit. His prognosis remains unclear, though he was reportedly administered 30 cc's of Funyuns. From there, we meander through Spencer getting bitten by a large dog whose elderly owner was being dragged down a hiking trail like an upturned Koopa shell, a coworker who died and was eulogized via workplace intercom sandwiched between parking reminders and a car show announcement, and an airport encounter with a man who was absolutely convinced that eating large quantities of homemade hummus was directly improving his tennis game. Kevin then arrives at his Las Vegas hotel to discover Mr. Beast staring at him outside his window, and somehow this is the least weird part of the episode. We debate whether their podcast intro saying "white lives" is giving undue prominence to white lives, and discuss the chaotic teenage internet figure known as "Clavicular," who has been bone-smashing, meth-smoking, and tying backpacks to his genitals in pursuit of physical perfection. Spencer also reveals he has relapsed into smoking weed, while learning game development in Godot partly to spite his father, and has committed to invoking "Michael Jordan Flu Game" as a life philosophy. Listener emails round things out, including a fan whose wife assumed Spencer was "an educated black man." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(255)

Dour Hour

We hit a real milestone this week and decided the only appropriate way to celebrate was with the triumphant return of the Dour Hour, a healthy dose of existential dread, and a time-travel plot so conv...

27 Aug 48min

Dominated by Conan O'Brien

Alright, chat, We're back with a Robert De Niro impression that doesn't have legs, a hostile takeover of Schrab Home Video, and a heartfelt discussion about whether saying "chat" out loud in real life...

20 Aug 1h 16min

Scorpion Tales

This week, Kevin has lost his voice, so in his place we welcome a very special honk-based replacement guest who may or may not be an actual honk-girl (spoiler: it's Amelia Marino, Doughboys associate ...

13 Aug 1h 21min

We've Got to Summon Batman

This week we let YouTube's AI suggest future episodes, resulting in gems like "Spencer reads your toxic parenting books while Kevin plays high-stakes countdown" and other completely incomprehensible A...

6 Aug 1h 17min

The Honk Man

Honk, honk, folks! Mike Mitchell (of Doughboys fame) stops by the "studio" to hang with Kevin and the Spleen, and things immediately spiral in the best way. We cover the sacred art of recording ads in...

30 Jul 1h 20min

Peanuts: Nature's Beans

This week, we survive their own opening theme song getting cut off at the worst possible time, so we ponder the eternal mystery of what exactly gets a podcast demonetized, and somehow still manage to ...

23 Jul 1h 18min

It Goes Well

Spencer and Kevin are back with a "political roundtable" that spirals almost immediately, featuring special guests Brentz Platner(?), a beeping Mitch McConnell(??), and the late Lindsey Graham(???), c...

16 Jul 1h 18min

Now That’s What I Call Happens: Volume 9

Now That’s What I Call Happens! Volume 9! Party with The Spleen while you enjoy this rehash of old bits from That Happens! It’ll have you saying "Now That’s What I Call Happens!" Learn more about your...

9 Jul 59min