284. The Science-Backed Method to Building Better Relationships with Liz Moody

You might be the loneliest you've ever been — and have no idea why. One of my favorite guests and favorite humans, Liz Moody, is back on the show to talk about why loneliness isn't an exposure problem. It's not about being around more people. It's a discomfort problem. We're getting into why our frictionless, optimized lives are quietly killing our ability to connect, what it actually takes to build real friendships from scratch, why vulnerability is the shortcut nobody wants to take, and the one shift you can make this week that will move you toward deeper connection — no new plans required. Liz’s links: Website: https://www.lizmoody.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizmoody/ Podcast: https://www.lizmoody.com/the-liz-moody-podcast/ Book: A Hundred Ways to Change Your Life: http://Bookshopbookshop.org/a/90037/9780063333710 Not sure what to do with your money? Visit ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod⁠ and take our FREE Money Plan Quiz to get your personalized money plan, and find any resources mentioned on our show! 00:00 Intro 00:13 Why We've Never Been More Connected — Yet More Alone 02:34 The "Creation Era" of Friendship & Why Discomfort Is the Price of Connection 03:23 The Cozy Era vs. The Creation Era of Friendship 06:17 Loneliness Is a Discomfort Problem, Not an Exposure Problem 11:37 Misdiagnosing Loneliness — What You're Actually Missing 13:05 The Harvard Study of Adult Development & the #1 Predictor of a Long Life 14:59 Face-Down Phone Theory & What Your Phone Is Costing Your Relationships 11:27 Match Theory: Stop Impressing, Start Finding Your People 17:32 The 50-Hour Rule: How Long It Really Takes to Make a Friend 21:17 From Transaction to Connection — Getting Past Tit for Tat 21:13 Human Beings vs. Human Doings: Productivity Culture & Friendship 38:21 Shared Experiences, Novelty & Building Deeper Bonds 38:16 "Abouts" — The Secret Ingredient to Lasting Friendships 50:24 Healthy Solitude vs. Loneliness (and Why Most of Us Never Actually Rest) 58:20 The One Shift to Make This Week If You Feel Lonely Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices