#158 What Actually Changes When Healing Is Happening

#158 What Actually Changes When Healing Is Happening

After betrayal, one of the most common questions couples ask is: “How do we know if we’re actually healing?” Are we moving forward… or just surviving? Is this real progress… or just a calm before another storm?

Healing after infidelity or betrayal rarely arrives with certainty. It doesn’t usually feel dramatic, resolved, or even peaceful. Instead, healing often shows up in subtle shifts — more capacity, more consistency, and more emotional safety over time.

In this episode, we explore the difference between false calm and real safety, and the quiet signs that healing is happening — even when things still feel uncertain.

This conversation is trauma-informed and designed for both partners — whether you were betrayed or you are working to rebuild trust — and helps couples orient toward progress without rushing outcomes.


Connect With Me + Continue Your Healing

If today’s episode resonated with you, you don’t have to walk the healing journey after betrayal alone. I create trauma-informed resources, conversations, and learning experiences to support individuals and couples navigating infidelity, betrayal trauma, and relational repair.

Here are a few ways to stay connected and continue your healing:


Join the Help Her Heal weekly support group for men working to rebuild trust and create safety.

Sign up for my Rooted and Rising Healing mailing list to stay informed of all upcoming resources and events where we can connect.


Join me at a Retreat or Intensive

If you’re craving deeper, in-person support and embodied healing, I’m helping facilitate upcoming experiences created specifically for betrayed partners.

If you're ready for a deeper connection with your daughter(s), ⁠complete this interest list⁠ for more information about my upcoming retreat - Becoming Together: A Mother Daughter Retreat - hosted by myself and my two daughters in Sedona, Arizona on September 8 - 12th.

Email Hali⁠ to join the⁠⁠⁠ Interest list for an upcoming course for parents called Intentional Parenting After Betrayal⁠⁠⁠⁠, hosted by Hali and her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth.

The Rise, Renew, Restore Retreat in Costa Rica, happening July 30 - August 3, offers a more spacious, restorative experience focused on slowing down, reconnecting with your body, and healing in the presence of nature and supportive community.


Free Resources & Downloads

Access free tools, guided practices, and educational resources designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, boundaries, and clarity after betrayal.

👉A Mini Guide to Mindful Healing After Betrayal

👉Your First Steps to Rising After Betrayal

Upcoming Course: Reclaiming You After Betrayal

If you’re ready for deeper guidance in a structured, supportive format, I am offering a course focused on healing after betrayal, rebuilding self-trust, and grounding into your values and identity—without rushing decisions about staying or leaving.

This course is ideal for those who want support without individual coaching and at a pace that honors their nervous system.

👉 Join the Reclaiming You Waitlist!


Listen to My Other Podcast

If you are a betrayed partner, I also host a second podcast called Rooted & Rising Healing After Betrayal, created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma.

This show offers grounded, trauma-informed conversations, solo reflections, and tools to help you reconnect with yourself, reclaim your voice, and rise with clarity and strength.

👉 Rooted and Rising Healing After Betrayal


Join My Newsletter

Stay connected through my newsletter, where I share reflections, trauma-informed insights, and updates on upcoming courses, workshops, retreats, and live experiences.

👉⁠ ⁠Rooted and Rising Weekly⁠⁠


Connect With Me Between Episodes

Join me on social media for continued conversation, encouragement, and resources between podcast episodes.

👉 Instagram:⁠ ⁠@rootedandrising.healing⁠⁠

👉 Facebook:⁠ ⁠Rooted and Rising Healing with Hali Roderick⁠⁠

👉 Website:⁠⁠ ⁠rootedandrisinghealing.mykajabi.com⁠

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Episoder(188)

#177 One Hour a Week Was Never Going to Be Enough

#177 One Hour a Week Was Never Going to Be Enough

If you're a woman and you’re doing the work — therapy, coaching, reading everything you can get your hands on — and you're still white-knuckling it alone most days of the week, this episode is for you...

17 Sep 11min

#176 The Fight Under the Fight — Decoding What Betrayal Trauma Does to Your Everyday Arguments

#176 The Fight Under the Fight — Decoding What Betrayal Trauma Does to Your Everyday Arguments

If you're rebuilding trust after infidelity, you've probably noticed something strange: small disagreements can escalate way faster and way bigger than the topic seems to deserve. A dish in the sink. ...

10 Sep 14min

#175 The Separation Plan Guide: Navigating Time Apart After Betrayal Trauma with Shawna Meek, PCC, CPC-S

#175 The Separation Plan Guide: Navigating Time Apart After Betrayal Trauma with Shawna Meek, PCC, CPC-S

"Separation" doesn't have to mean divorce. In this episode, I'm joined by Shawna Meek of Living Stones Coaching to talk about the therapeutic separation — a structured, intentional time apart designed...

3 Sep 43min

***BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: What I Wish I'd Done Differently with my daughters, Mataia and Morgan

***BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: What I Wish I'd Done Differently with my daughters, Mataia and Morgan

In this episode of the Choosing Different mini-series, Hali is joined by her daughters, Mataia and Morgan, for an honest conversation about betrayal trauma's impact on the whole family — not just the ...

29 Aug 29min

#174 It's Not Too Late: Healing an Affair You Thought Was Behind You

#174 It's Not Too Late: Healing an Affair You Thought Was Behind You

If the betrayal in your relationship happened years ago — and life moved forward, but the deepest layers of healing never actually happened — this episode is for you.Maybe the resources weren't availa...

27 Aug 14min

#173 Betrayed Men: Why Their Trauma Looks Different — and What Actually Helps with Dr. Laney Knowlton

#173 Betrayed Men: Why Their Trauma Looks Different — and What Actually Helps with Dr. Laney Knowlton

When we talk about betrayal trauma, the picture most people carry is of a betrayed woman. But men experience betrayal too — and their pain often goes unseen, misread as anger, or dismissed entirely. I...

20 Aug 44min

#172 Why the Right Words Aren't Enough: Embodied Empathy in Betrayal Recovery

#172 Why the Right Words Aren't Enough: Embodied Empathy in Betrayal Recovery

You can say all the right words and still leave your partner feeling completely unsafe.If you're the partner who caused harm, that may be the most frustrating thing you've encountered in recovery — yo...

13 Aug 27min

*** BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: Three Words Every Parent Owes Their Child: "I Believe You" 

*** BONUS Choosing Different Mini Series: Three Words Every Parent Owes Their Child: "I Believe You" 

What happens when a child no longer has to convince their parent that their pain was real?In this episode of Choosing Different Mini Series, Hali sits down with her daughter, Morgan Ellsworth, for a s...

8 Aug 20min

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