The Real Reason You Fight With Your Spouse (It’s Not What You Think)

Ever wonder why a simple disagreement turn into a full-blown argument? In this episode, Adam and Marie get real about one of their own past arguments and unpack why couples — especially entrepreneurial ones — fight the way they do.

What You'll Learn:

Why arguments are rarely about what you think they're about
How childhood experiences shape the way you fight as an adult
What Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is and how it can help
The concept of a "personal operating system" and why you need one before fixing your business or relationship
How to hold space for your partner's emotions (even when it's uncomfortable)
Practical steps to take the next time you get triggered

Key Moments:

The bike argument: how a simple purchase revealed deeper issues around money, scarcity, and childhood wounds
Marie shares how her 7-year-old self created a coping strategy she carried into adulthood
Adam talks about learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of suppressing them
The three operating systems: individual, relationship, and business — and why that order matters
The "five whys" exercise to get to the root of any argument

This Week's Challenge:

Next time you have an argument and feel triggered, write it down. Ask yourself "why?" five times to dig down to the root of what's really going on.

Resources Mentioned:

No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz (creator of IFS therapy)
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy

Connect With Us:

Download our free weekly connection workbook (link in show notes). If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review!

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