A Childhood Without Safety: Growing Up Inside the Prison System

What happens when a child grows up without safety—and the system responds with punishment instead of protection? In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, host Hiba Balfaqih sits down with Sonny Van Cleaveland, whose life was shaped by incarceration before it was shaped by care. By the age of seven, Sonny was already inside the justice system. By sixteen, he was placed in an adult prison that became one of the most violent facilities in Michigan within its first month. This conversation exposes how early trauma, chronic threat, and institutional violence shape identity. Violence wasn’t defiance. It was adaptation. Survival became instinct. Harm became normalized. When a nervous system is raised in danger, morality doesn’t disappear—it gets overridden. But this episode is not just about prison. It’s about childhood trauma, moral injury, and how systems that claim to rehabilitate often reinforce the very behaviors they punish. It’s about how patterns form under pressure—and what it actually takes to interrupt them. Sonny’s story challenges the idea that people are “born dangerous.” It asks harder questions about responsibility, conditioning, and what healing looks like when no one ever modeled safety to begin with. This is an episode for anyone interested in trauma psychology, incarceration, nervous system survival responses, and the long-term impact of growing up without protection.

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Episoder(33)

The Most Shocking Moments - Part 2

Some moments stay with you long after the conversation ends. In this special episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih revisits some of the most powerful and unforgettable moments from the series...

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The Most Shocking Moments

5 Aug 21min

When Your Mother Is The Danger

Some conversations don't end when the cameras stop rolling—they deserve to be unpacked. In this episode of The Notebook, Hiba Balfaqih reflects on her conversation with Jazmine and explores the psych...

30 Jul 14min

The Story Her Kidnapper Never Wanted Told

How do you respond when your life changes in a matter of seconds? In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Allison Smith, whose ordinary trip to a convenience store became a ...

23 Jul 1h 4min

What Epestein Did To Her Mind

Some conversations don't end when the cameras stop rolling—they deserve to be unpacked. In this episode of The Notebook, Hiba Balfaqih reflects on her conversation with Jena-Lisa Jones, a survivor of...

15 Jul 18min

The Truth Behind Being A Sex Worker

What happens when the beliefs you're raised with become the source of your deepest wounds? In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Veronica Monet, who was born into a religi...

8 Jul 54min

My Family Was America's Most Dangerous Cult

What happens when the person who teaches you right from wrong is later revealed to be responsible for unimaginable violence? In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with Anna, wh...

1 Jul 57min

I Killed My Abuser

What happens when the people meant to protect you never do? In this episode of The Shadow Sessions, Hiba Balfaqih speaks with David, who spent years growing up in an environment shaped by fear, contr...

24 Jun 1h 1min