Caroline Foran | The Nervous System, Anxiety & PDA Parenting #170

Anxiety author Caroline Foran joins Laura for a deeply personal conversation about parenting a young son recently diagnosed as autistic with a PDA profile, alongside her own long history with anxiety.

Caroline talks openly about the years before the diagnosis, the blame she turned inward, and everything she has had to unlearn about parenting. She explains what PDA — Pervasive Drive for Autonomy — actually looks like day to day, why traditional approaches can make things worse, and the social pressure of being seen to "manage" a child whose nervous system is set on high alert.

She also shares her own anxiety story, from a frightening breakdown at sixteen in Italy through to the severe physical anxiety that took over her twenties. Caroline talks about medication, CBT, and the years of work behind her new book Everything I Wish I'd Known About Anxiety, and why so much of recovery came from showing her body safety rather than trying to outthink her own mind.

🔑 Key Points

Discovering a PDA profile — Caroline explains Pervasive Drive for Autonomy and what it means for her son's nervous system day to day.

Why traditional parenting backfires — Holding firm boundaries can push a PDA child straight into fight or flight, even at five.

Lowering the demands — A low-demand, declarative-language approach has reshaped everyday life at home.

Performative parenting — The urge to respond to her son for the benefit of onlookers, even with close friends.

The years before the diagnosis — A bumpy COVID start, severe separation anxiety and two preschool attempts that left him distressed.

Caroline's anxiety story — A breakdown at sixteen in Italy and a severe physical episode at twenty-five.

Medication, CBT and self-compassion — Prozac, behavioural therapy and learning to respond to anxiety with kindness rather than self-attack.

Showing the body safety — Why walking, rhythm and bottom-up regulation worked better than trying to master her thoughts.

The cost of constant stimulation — Social media, the pleasure–pain balance and collective anxiety since COVID.

📚 Resources

Everything I Wish I'd Known About Anxiety

Owning It

PDA Society

Casey Ehrlich (Peace Parents)

Dr Anna Lembke — Dopamine Nation

⏱️ Timestamps

02:00 — "Is he non-verbal?" introducing her son

02:30 — Autism with a PDA profile

03:00 — What PDA stands for

04:30 — Nervous system disability and perceived demand

06:00 — Why traditional parenting can backfire

08:00 — Performative parenting in public

10:00 — A pillow on the grass and what dysregulation looks like

13:00 — Blaming herself before the diagnosis

17:00 — Sensory overwhelm and rethinking exposure

20:00 — Preschool, school and what comes next

30:00 — Family life, marriage and never a date night

33:30 — Caroline's anxiety story begins in Italy

39:00 — A severe breakdown at twenty-five

45:00 — Starting medication and what Prozac actually did

51:00 — CBT, behavioural experiments and getting her life back

56:00 — Showing the body safety

59:00 — Social media and the pleasure–pain balance

01:04:00 — Caroline's new book

01:05:30 — Advice and the meaning of life

Thanks for listening! You can watch the full episode on YouTube here. Don’t forget to follow The Laura Dowling Experience podcast on Instagram @lauradowlingexperience for updates and more information. You can also follow our host, Laura Dowling, @fabulouspharmacist for more insights and tips. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review—it really helps us out! Stay tuned for more great conversations.

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