Dear MK11 Apr 2025

I Said Yes… But It Still Felt Bad: Naming Sexual Discomfort

It might not be sexual assault — but that doesn’t mean it didn’t feel wrong.

In this episode, Mya and K dive into the murky, often unspoken space of sexual discomfort. You know the feeling — when something you technically agreed to ends up leaving you feeling used, uneasy, or just… icky. Maybe it didn’t cross a legal line, maybe no one meant harm, but it still didn’t feel good — and that matters.

These kinds of experiences are more common than we think, and yet we rarely talk about them. Sometimes they stir up past trauma. Sometimes they create a lingering sense of shame or set the stage for future discomfort. Either way, they’re valid. And we deserve to unpack them.

In honor of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Mya and K explore the spectrum — from clear-cut sexual assault to the gray areas of discomfort. They break down enthusiastic consent, share personal stories, and ask the big question: Are my feelings valid even if no one “did anything wrong”? The answer is YES!

They also touch on the broader culture we’re navigating — including the harmful rise of the “Andrew Tate effect,” how misogynistic rhetoric is showing up in classrooms, and the terrifying reality of deepfake pornography targeting teenage girls. Mya ends by sharing a powerful metaphor explaining why women feel so invalidated by the phrase, “It’s not ALL men.”

This episode is for anyone who’s ever walked away from an experience feeling off, confused, or alone. We see you — and we believe these conversations matter.

TIMESTAMPS:

(4:oo) Feels good to have a word that describes what happened to you; “sexual discomfort” (7:30) Personal boundaries/you don't need to provide an excuse (10:00) It was my first time being triggered (15:00) Made me hesitant for all of my sexual encounters (20:00) Consent should always be enthusiastic (21:00) Safe words (25:00) The Andrew Tate Effect (28:00) Deepfake porn & digital abuse (32:00) Analogy “its enough men to make women afraid” (47:00) they get mad when you say no (crazy story)

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