263. "We spend 102% of what we make. Will we ever stop drowning?"

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Freya and Blake, a couple in their mid-40s with two young children who are facing one of the most urgent financial situations we’ve seen on the show. Together, they earn around $143K a year, but their fixed costs are at 102%, they have $0 in savings, only $180 invested, and more than $96K in debt. Freya applied because she feared they were close to becoming homeless. On the surface, their problem looks like debt. Underneath, it’s avoidance, guilt, lack of partnership, and years of “we’ll figure it out later.” Freya carries the emotional labour of the household and money decisions, while Blake admits he avoids the numbers and tries to solve problems by simply making more money. Ramit helps them confront the reality of their situation, stop tinkering around the edges, and build a radical plan that gives their family a chance to get stable. In this episode we uncover: • Why Freya and Blake are spending more than they make every month • How their fixed costs reached 102% of their income • Why having a $143K income still isn’t enough when there’s no system • The $96K debt number that forces them to face reality • Why Freya feels like she has to manage everything alone • Blake’s “ostrich” approach to money and avoidance • How trips, skiing, and everyday spending became symptoms of a bigger issue • Why being intelligent doesn’t protect you from bad money decisions • The emotional cost of having $0 in savings with two young children • How childhood, privilege, resentment, and guilt shaped their money habits • Why hustling stops working once fixed costs get too high • Ramit’s warning that they are weeks away from not being able to pay rent • Why Blake may need to aggressively increase his income • How they move from blame and panic into a shared plan • Their follow-up reflections on what finally felt doable Chapters: (00:01:20) Meet Freya and Blake (00:03:30) Why Freya applied to speak with Ramit (00:05:23) “Do you want to have a budget conversation?” (00:05:56) The skiing trip that became a money fight (00:08:22) The Mexico trip they couldn’t afford (00:13:52) Savings are gone and the safety net has disappeared (00:15:16) Freya carries the planning, groceries, kids, and money stress (00:21:54) Looking at the Conscious Spending Plan together (00:24:01) The real debt and net worth numbers land (00:31:24) Why 102% fixed costs means they are broke (00:32:04) Ramit warns they are weeks away from not paying rent (00:34:54) Childhood money lessons and blame (00:43:57) Borrowing money to avoid eviction (00:48:11) Blake’s belief that more income will solve everything (00:57:14) Guilt, family, and saying yes when they should say no (01:03:00) Defining a realistic Rich Life from where they are now (01:08:30) Childcare costs disappearing (01:15:03) Freya asks Blake to help with grocery planning (01:18:00) Why savings comes before debt payoff right now (01:34:00) Why the plan finally feels doable This episode is brought to you by: Grow Therapy | Visit https://growtherapy.com/ramit to find a therapist today. LMNT | Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT MasterClass | For unlimited access to every class and at least 15% off any annual membership, go to https://masterclass.com/ramit Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #FacetAd Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube Have you or your partner realised you’re paying a 1% financial advisor hundreds of thousands of dollars in fees over your lifetime? Maybe you feel stuck because they’re your “family money guy,” If so, I want to talk. Apply to be on my podcast at https://iwt.com/apply