Therapy Works26 Jul 2023

BONUS EP: Vanessa Vander on how her divorce made her feel like a failure

Vanessa describes with great honesty her experience of living with an alcoholic husband. The difficult decision to end her marriage and the resulting challenges she faced. Her loneliness, along with the necessary reframing of her future. 45% of marriages end in divorce which can lead us to treat it as ‘part of life.’ In this conversation we hear how very personal that experience is, and what a loss. In this episode we discuss: What led to the end of her 8 year relationship and how painful and hard it was to acknowledge that it was the end. Vanessa describes her loss for the future she imagined, and the fear this new unknown engendered in her. It was the first time she felt she had failed, and how difficult that was. As Vanessa experienced her loss it took her to the point of not wanting to wake up in the morning. Given how labile and emotional the separation was, the actual divorce was mechanical and discombobulating. How over time she managed to create a new version of herself. Vanessa couldn’t control what she felt, but she found that she had agency in building her resilience. Vanessa was helped by her toolkit of resources: exercise, friends, parents and setting goals like the marathon. Through this she did find growth and discovered she could survive difficult challenges. Links mentioned in episode: Sophie mentions the Therapist Uncensored Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306 Julia mentions a paper by Jeffrey Arnett on Emerging Adulthood: http://www.jeffreyarnett.com/ARNETT_Emerging_Adulthood_theory.pdf Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Episoder(273)

BONUS: Yasmine Naghdi on Why Confidence Isn't About Being Perfect

In this special episode of Therapy Works, in partnership with Code8's Confidence Comes From Within campaign, Julia is joined by Royal Ballet Principal Yasmine Naghdi for a fascinating conversation abo...

12 Aug 50min

Agony Aunties: How Do I Deal With a Difficult Mother-in-Law?

Family holidays are meant to be relaxing, so why do they so often leave us feeling exhausted? This week, Julia, Emily and Sophie answer a listener's question about navigating a passive-aggressive moth...

7 Aug 17min

Agony Aunties: Why Do I Keep Sabotaging Myself?

This week, the Agony Aunties answer a question that so many of us will recognise: why is it so hard to make the changes we desperately want to make? From skipping the exercise class you've already pai...

31 Jul 15min

Agony Aunties: Why Do I Feel So Lonely?

In this week's Agony Aunties episode, Julia, Emily and Sophie answer a heartfelt question from a listener who feels deeply lonely despite appearing successful on the outside. Together, they explore wh...

24 Jul 17min

BONUS: Manon Lagrève on The Confidence to Be Yourself

This week, Julia is joined by cook, bestselling author and content creator Manon Lagrève for a heartfelt conversation about confidence, family and the values that truly sustain us. Together they explo...

22 Jul 44min

Agony Aunties: Relationship Anxiety - Am I Overthinking or Is Something Wrong?

This week on Agony Aunties, they answer a listener's heartfelt question about what happens when a relationship begins to feel different. After two and a half years together, her boyfriend seems less a...

17 Jul 17min

Agony Aunties: Why Do I Feel So Lonely After Having a Baby?

In this episode of Agony Aunties, Julia, Emily and Sophie answer a heartfelt question from a listener who feels isolated after moving away from the city to start a family. Together they explore the un...

10 Jul 16min

Agony Aunties: Caring for a Difficult Parent

This episode of Agony Aunties tackles the emotional complexity of caring for an ageing parent when the relationship has always been difficult. Emily and Sophie respond to a listener whose 89-year-old ...

3 Jul 14min