A Conversation with Elana Auerbach, Author of "The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark"

Elana Auerbach is a lover, author, mother, mentor, activist and priestess. She spent her childhood and young adulthood on what she calls “the conveyor belt of life,” being the good girl and doing what others expected of her. This looked like graduating Phi Beta Kappa from UCLA, working on Wall Street for a Japanese investment bank, and marrying someone with whom she felt no chemistry. It all fell apart in 2001 when Elana realized she’d been living a lie and found the courage to leave her marriage. She entered a world of sensuality and sex, researching orgasm in a San Francisco pleasure-centered community. This is where she met Bill, who would become her loverman for life. In 2005, Elana founded “Sensuelle: A Woman’s Journey into Sensuality,” a program supporting women to fall in love with themselves, connect with their authentic voice and ignite their passion. Then, in 2011, a few years after becoming an ordained priestess with the Sanctuary of the 13 Moon Mystery School, Elana was certified to teach their year-long immersion into the feminine mysteries, where she taught for more than a decade.

She released her book The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark on February 3, 2026, just in time for Valentine’s Day. In The Sure Thing, Elana invites readers to bring joy, intimacy and passion back into their relationships through a simple weekly pleasure practice. Drawing from the ritual that transformed her own long-strained partnership, she presents a clear, accessible and fun framework for reconnecting with desire. Readers learn how to release shame, understand what they truly want, create a sustainable ritual of pleasure and meet resistance with play instead of pressure.

“This book is personal,” Elana says. “For twelve years, my spouse and I struggled over sex. We tried everything—expert advice, toys, techniques—but nothing changed until I created The Sure Thing. What emerged was a practice that actually works.”

Inside The Sure Thing, readers will discover:

• How to break free from shame, conditioning and the pressure to “perform” intimacy

• Why most couples drift apart—and how to reverse it through intention and play

• How to navigate resistance and rekindle curiosity

• A step-by-step guide to crafting a personalized Sure Thing pleasure practice

• Why a weekly ritual can transform not only your sex life, but your entire relationship with pleasure

Elana joined us from Berkeley, California. Learn more and follow Elana:

https://surethingexperiment.com

https://www.facebook.com/ElanaAuerbachAuthor/

https://www.instagram.com/elana.auerbach