Ep. 88: What Gay Saunas Taught Me About Shame and Queer Belonging

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I recently had one of the most unexpectedly wholesome experiences of my life: after hooking up with a guy in a gay sauna, we ended up standing in the shower singing musical theatre songs together. The experience left me questioning many of the assumptions I’d carried about saunas, bathhouses, and queer sexual spaces. Why did I feel so much shame walking into a sauna in the first place? Where did that shame come from? And why have so many of us inherited the belief that spaces created by gay men for pleasure and connection are somehow less respectable than other forms of community?

In this episode, I explore the history of gay bathhouses, the role queer spaces have played in helping LGBTQ people find each other, and the ways sexuality, friendship, intimacy, and belonging often overlap in queer culture. We talk about chosen family, minority stress, internalized shame, and why physical queer spaces still matter in the age of dating apps. Most of all, this episode is an invitation to question the stories we’ve been told about gay community, and the shame we may still be carrying because of them.

Follow and connect at @georgecanthost on Instagram for more conversations about sex, shame, healing, and freedom.

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Ep.77: Sex Shame, OnlyFans, and My Top Era: https://georgelizos.com/blog/sex-shame-onlyfans-and-my-top-era

Ep.83: Dom Tops vs Dumb Tops: Consent, Control, and Real Connection in Bed: https://georgelizos.com/blog/dom-tops-vs-dumb-tops-consent-control-and-real-connection-in-bed

Ep.18: Trending Gay Sex Toys with Agnetas Sergejevas: https://shows.acast.com/cant-host/episodes/66867b5704b201dd3472a0d4

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