The ENM DNM23 Jul 2025

Episode 5: Communication, Boundaries & Agreements in ENM

Episode 5: Communication and Boundaries

What does “good communication” really mean in ethical non-monogamy — and how do you know if you’re setting a boundary or just trying to control someone? Intro Paragraph:
In this episode of The ENM DNM, we unpack the layered, often messy world of communication and boundaries in ethical non-monogamy. We explore how mismatched expectations, emotional triggers, people-pleasing, and different processing styles impact our relationships. You’ll hear real-life stories of things gone right (and wrong), how we define “good communication,” and what happens when boundaries are unclear or unspoken. Whether you’re new to ENM or years into your journey, this conversation is packed with honesty, reflection, and insight into what it takes to build trust and connection in non-monogamous relationships.

What We Talk About:

How we define “good communication” in ENM relationships
Why listening is the most underrated communication skill
Emotional regulation and learning your own processing style
What a boundary actually is (and what it’s not)
When communication isn’t enough and a relationship ends
Common challenges like unmet expectations and miscommunication between partners and metamours
The difference between boundaries, agreements, and rules
Learning from past relationships and becoming “version 2.0”

Mentioned in This Episode:

ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and join our private community
Polysecure (book)
The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (accessible via the Ko-Fi link)
TED Talk: “John Francis: Walk the earth ... my 17-year vow of silence | TED
Miriam Margolyes Meets The Sistergirls Of The Tiwi Islands | Miriam Margolyes: Almost Australian

Love what you hear?

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Join our private Discord space to connect, share, and grow alongside others in the ENM community.

Next episode, we’re talking about dating stories — the good, the bad, and the fugly.

Thanks for joining us in this honest conversation about ethical non-monogamy, queer identity, communication, and community.

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Please note: this podcast is for conversation, reflection and shared experience. It is not a replacement for therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

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Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. hello@enmdnm.com

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

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