Hierarchy in ENM

In this episode, we take on one of the most loaded and misunderstood topics in ethical non-monogamy: hierarchy.

Rather than treating hierarchy as something simple or automatically bad, we sit with the messier reality of what it actually means in practice, who benefits from it, and why people so often struggle to name it honestly.

We explore the difference between equality and equity, the role of privilege and access in relationships, and the tension between what people wish they could offer and what they can realistically offer.

Along the way, we talk about primary partners, power, fairness, expectations, and the problems that can emerge when hierarchy is either denied, hidden, or softened with language that avoids the truth.

This is not an episode about easy answers or rigid rules. It is a conversation about honesty, structure, and the importance of being clear about what kind of relationship you are actually building.

This episode is about hierarchy, privilege, relational reality, and the difficult but necessary work of naming things as they really are.

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

Come say hi: socials

Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners. hello@enmdnm.com

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(24)

Dear ENM DNM: Your fear is not illogical

Adam and Leonie are back with another Dear ENM DNM, and this one is a big one.A listener wrote in. They're a queer guy dating two people, one of whom is immunocompromised. There's a long standing agre...

14 Jul 57min

ENM Rules, Agreements or Just Vibes?

Adam and Leonie are back on their phones, scrolling through non-monogamy Reels and giving their honest (and sometimes very strong) opinions on what they find. It kicks off a proper chat about the diff...

7 Jul 59min

Running Events Safely: What Organisers Need to Do

Adam and Leonie kick off by talking about Wet on Wellington, the gay sauna in Melbourne they've visited as a space to hang out, relax and chat with mates. But this episode quickly moves beyond one ven...

30 Jun 59min

Kink Corner: Barefoot Juliette and Shibari

In this Kink Corner episode, Adam and Leonie sit down with Barefoot Juliette to talk all things Shibari, the Japanese rope art that's part performance, part intimacy practice, part mindfulness.Juliett...

23 Jun 1h 20min

The ENM Glossary: What Do These Words Even Mean?

In this episode, Adam and Leonie are joined by Ari to attempt something brave, foolish and probably impossible: making sense of some of the terms people use in ENM and non-monogamy. From ENM, CNM and ...

16 Jun 1h 18min

Dear ENM DNM: The calendar is the metamour

In this episode, Adam and Leonie open up the Dear ENM DNM inbox after someone writes in about a very familiar ENM problem: the calendar. They talk through a situation involving nesting, shifting plans...

9 Jun 1h 11min

The Manifesting Canine: Love, Ghosting and the Relationship Escalator

In this episode, Adam and Leonie move from canine chaos and accidental innuendo into a bigger conversation about dating, ghosting and what happens when connection does not quite land the way we hoped....

2 Jun 1h 4min

What It’s Like to Date Adam and Leonie

In this episode, Adam and Leonie turn the mic on themselves and unpack what it’s actually like to date them.From communication styles and emotional needs to attraction, boundaries and the little quirk...

26 Mai 1h 15min