The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Apr 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Episoder(2695)

Friday, July 28, 2017

Friday, July 28, 2017

49 to 51. Three Republican senators break ranks, ending what could be their party’s last plan to repeal the Affordable Care Act. Plus: What’s so bad about Obamacare anyway? Guests: Thomas Kaplan, a congressional correspondent for The Times, joins us from the Senate press gallery at 2 a.m.; Abby Goodnough, who covers health care. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2tZRHMp. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

28 Jul 201723min

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Thursday, July 27, 2017

The president says transgender people will not be allowed to serve in the military. The military says that’s news to them. Plus: What exactly Is a ‘skinny repeal’? Guests: Carl Hulse, who covers Congress for The Times; Helene Cooper, a Pentagon correspondent; Staff Sgt. Ashlee Bruce of the Air Force. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2f45niU. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

27 Jul 201722min

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

After the dramatic return of John McCain, the Senate narrowly agrees to begin work on the repeal of Obamacare — then promptly votes down a plan to do exactly that. Plus: The president steps up the attacks on his attorney general. Guest: Jeremy W. Peters, who covers politics from Washington. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2vomsLp. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

26 Jul 201717min

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

“I did not collude,” Jared Kushner said after meeting with Senate investigators on Monday. And Betsy DeVos, the education secretary, has signaled that she intends to take a hard look at whether college campuses have gone too far in cracking down on sexual assault. Guests: Matt Apuzzo, who has been covering the Trump-Russia investigation; Sheryl Gay Stolberg, who has written about Ms. DeVos’s promise to revisit the Obama administration’s sexual assault policies; Tom Rossley Sr., the father of a student accused of sexual assault. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2w0MiST. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

25 Jul 201726min

Monday, July 24, 2017

Monday, July 24, 2017

Congress revolts and approves sanctions against Russia. The press secretary quits. The White House looks to discredit the special prosecutor investigating the president. And the president says he has complete power to pardon family, aides and maybe even himself. We make sense of the news from this weekend. Guest: Glenn Thrush, a White House correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2uTKz1k. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

24 Jul 201719min

Friday, July 21, 2017

Friday, July 21, 2017

After Mosul, Iraq, was liberated, two Times reporters encountered a group of women who had been enslaved by the Islamic State for years. Days after the city’s fall, they still believed that the militant group had taken over the world. Guests: Rukmini Callimachi, who covers terrorism and the Islamic State for The Times, and Andy Mills, a producer for “The Daily” who is in Iraq with her. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2vovtEe. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

21 Jul 201720min

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Today, exclusive audio from The Times’s wide-ranging interview with the president. Speaking with three New York Times reporters in the Oval Office, Mr. Trump discussed his conversation with President Vladimir Putin and expressed his anger toward major figures in the Russia investigation — including his own attorney general. Guests: Michael S. Schmidt and Maggie Haberman, who, along with Peter Baker, interviewed the president on Wednesday. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2hjqSNx. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

20 Jul 201719min

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

What’s it like to be a Republican lawmaker in Washington in the Trump era? A frank discussion about being a congressman when the House, Senate, and presidency are controlled by your party — but just about nothing is getting done and all the usual rules have been broken. Guest: Tom Rooney, a Republican congressman from Florida. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2uLom8B. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

19 Jul 201724min

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