The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Apr 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Episoder(2692)

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Thursday, April 13, 2017

A week ago, President Trump was accused of being a tool of President Vladimir V. Putin. Now, he says ties with Moscow are at an all-time low. What is going on between the United States and Russia? Guest: David E. Sanger, who is currently in Moscow. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2pp7bqn. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

13 Apr 201716min

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

The relationship between two key figures in the White House, Stephen K. Bannon and Jared Kushner, has deteriorated to the point of breakdown. Is Mr. Bannon in trouble? Guest: Jeremy W. Peters, who has been covering the story from Washington. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2osfGj3. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

12 Apr 201717min

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

How did Bashar al-Assad, a mild-mannered ophthalmologist, become a ruler who uses chemical weapons against his own people? And why is President Trump rejecting Mr. Assad, even as he is embracing another Middle Eastern leader with a reputation for brutality. Guests: Ben Hubbard, who covers the Middle East for The Times; Rukmini Callimachi, who writes about the Islamic State. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2p79Cur. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

11 Apr 201720min

Monday, April 10, 2017

Monday, April 10, 2017

Why President Trump’s decision to launch missiles into Syria is at odds with nearly everything he has said about Syria. Guest: Peter Baker, the chief White House correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2oU6HZq. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

10 Apr 201712min

Friday, April 7, 2017

Friday, April 7, 2017

The United States has launched 59 tomahawk missiles at an air base in Syria — a swift and decisive response to the Syrian government’s chemical weapons attack this week. And we navigate a historic day in the Senate. Guests: Helene Cooper, the Pentagon correspondent for The New York Times; Jennifer Steinhauer, who covers Congress. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2oMOPPR. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

7 Apr 201720min

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Thursday, April 6, 2017

President Trump sits down for an exclusive interview with The New York Times. How a conversation about infrastructure veered off into allegations of spying, new thinking on the chemical attacks in Syria and a response to the sexual harassment claims against Bill O’Reilly. Plus: Trump and China. Guests: Maggie Haberman and Glenn Thrush, who interviewed the president; Peter Goodman, a reporter based in London. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2oQILG8. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

6 Apr 201721min

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

President Trump treats the Syrian president as a potential ally. Will Tuesday’s deadly chemical weapons attack change that? Plus: the story of one village election that has become as much about Mr. Trump as about the candidates on the ballot. Guests: Anne Barnard, the Beirut bureau chief; Julie Bosman, who covers the midwest for the Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2nf8BmP. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

5 Apr 201720min

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

In 2013, Republicans in the Senate warned Democrats that they would soon regret a decision so extreme that it’s called “going nuclear.” That prediction may prove true this week, as Republicans prepare to go one step further to ensure the confirmation of Judge Neil M. Gorsuch to the Supreme Court. Guests: Jonathan Weisman and Jennifer Steinhauer, reporters at The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2naaW2G. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

4 Apr 201717min

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