S3E10: The End of Bad Sex with Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons

You don't need new relationship energy to have the best sex of your life. You need a recipe.

Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons is an award-winning psychologist, Emory University professor, and author of Good Sex: Stories, Science, and Strategies for Sexual Liberation. She's visiting The Happily Never After to dismantle basically everything we were taught about sex growing up.

We cover a lot of ground in this one.

• What sex positivity actually means (hint: it's not what you think).
• Why emotional safety is harder to build than technique and why that matters more.
• How a near-fatal ectopic pregnancy knocked Dr. Candice completely off her own sexual footing, even as a researcher who studies this for a living.
• And why the pressure women put on themselves to perform for a partner while completely disappearing from the experience is something we seriously need to talk about.

Dr. Candice breaks down her "good sex recipe" framework, and she makes the case that what you want in your forties shouldn't look like what you wanted in your twenties, and that's not a problem. It's the whole point.

We also get into what to do when sex goes sideways in a long-term relationship, how your friend group is low-key one of your most important sexual wellness resources, and the one question you should be asking before you write someone off as a bad partner in bed.

Dr. Candice's take on faking it, the orgasm gap, and the "I'm great at sex" guy will have you in your feelings in the best way.

In this episode: What sex positivity actually means, the coital imperative and expanding your definition of sex, why technique can be learned faster than trust, the good sex recipe framework, navigating desire changes in long-term relationships, sexual liberation post-divorce, and how to tell if a partner is worth the work.

ABOUT DR. CANDICE NICOLE HARGONS
Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons is an award-winning psychologist and associate professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health, where she studies sexual wellness and liberation. With over 90 published articles, Dr. Hargons has made substantial contributions to the field, positioning herself as one of the leading experts in her discipline. Her innovative work has been widely recognized and featured in major podcasts and publications such as the Huffington Post, Essence, Ebony, Wall Street Journal, Women's Health, Blavity, Cosmopolitan, and the New York Times. As a thought leader, Dr. Hargons continues to shape the conversation around sexual and mental health, advocating for liberation and wellness within marginalized communities.

• Follow Dr. Hargons on Instagram at @drcandicenicole
• Visit her website at drcandicenicole.com
• Watch her TEDx talk "4 Ways to Season Your Sex Life"

ABOUT THE HAPPILY NEVER AFTER
The Happily Never After is a podcast that features stories of big endings that led to personal breakthroughs. While endings can hurt, they also provide opportunities to heal and grow, and sometimes, they even set us free. Endings can offer an opportunity to begin anew, in a better way, and that’s what we’re here to talk about.

• New episodes every Tuesday.
• Follow ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thatheathermcg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on IG for related content and discussion.
• Read The Happily Never After on Substack at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://thehappilyneverafter.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Learn more about Heather McG at ⁠⁠⁠www.heathermcg.com